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Worked an eight hour shift yesterday. It was very quiet and there was only one incident in which a lady accused me, personally, of "cremating" her meal. The meal was not cremated in the slightest, there was absolutely nothing wrong with it, and it really pained me to take it back to the kitchen. If it had been during my management days I would have told her to shove it. She got very personal and blamed me for everything that went "wrong" with the meal, despite the fact that I never cooked the meal, never took the order and never even took it to her table. Oh well. She was pretty ancient though, so I guess she will be the one that is cremated soon.
So I finished my shift, and so did two of the awesome co-workers. The three of us sat down and grabbed a drink. Like I said, it was quiet, so we sat at the table closest to the bar so we could engage in conversation with the people who were still working.
Suddenly, out of no where, hundreds of people started pouring into the pub. And I mean hundreds. It was like a flash mob. All of a sudden, the pub went from being practically empty to jam packed in less than five minutes. The line for the bar was at least six people deep. It was so big, that our table was actually in the middle of the line! We felt very uncomfortable.
Me: Should we move?
ACW: I don't know...I feel really guilty.
Me: I know, but we have had a couple of beers, we can't help them. We've done our bit.
ACW: I know, but they are getting really, really slammed. I can't stand watching my friends suffer.
Me: Well maybe we should go somewhere else.
ACW started to look very uncomfortable. He was constantly looking up at the line, and then looking at the staff, and then looking at his drink.
ACW: I think we should go help.
Me: What?!
At this point, Manager was walking past carrying a mountain of glasses.
ACW: Can we do anything to help M?
M: If you help behind that bar for ten minutes, I will pay for all your drinks for the rest of the night.
ACW: Come on guys, lets get behind the bar.
The three of us walked behind the bar, and I actually thought the staff were going to start crying with joy. It was probably the most chaotic I have ever seen the pub, and because the three of us had a couple of beers in our system, well, let's just say we were a little braver.
I warn you, I may have been a dick in some of these stories.
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Me: OK, who was next??
SC: I have been waiting forever!
Me: OK, what can I get you?
SC: This is ridiculous, why haven't you staffed accordingly? I mean, I shouldn't have to wait this long for a drink, I can't believe this, I have a good mind to complain blah blah blah blah blah *I tuned out at this point*
Me: Maybe it's because some customers are taking too long to order.
SC: You can't go around blaming other people for your mistakes, it is not my fault it is so busy and you are understaffed blah blah blah blah.
Another customer jumped in.
C: Pal, can't you take the hint? He was talking about you! Order and shut up!
SC: And your customers are very unpleasent too blah blah blah blah.
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Me: What can I get you?
SC: Ohhh....ummmm...aaaahhh....ummmm....what kind of alcoholic beverages do you sell here?
I looked at the sea of faces glaring at me.
Me: I'm going to have to come back to you. Here's a menu.
SC: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
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A co-worker dropped and broke a glass. We were far too busy to sweep it up, so I simply kicked it under a glass cart.
SC: Excuuuuuussse me! But don't you think that is a little dangerous? What if someone stands on it?
Me: Fine, I'll go sweep it up.
SC: No! I have been waiting ages!
Me: Fine. I'll serve you.
SC: But what about the glass?
I simply walked away. Two co-workers burst out laughing. I don't think I would have done that if I was completely sober.
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SC: Why are you three dressed differently to everyone else?
Me: Funny story. I finished work two hours ago and these guys were getting absolutely slammed, so we decided to help out a little.
SC: So you're working when you could be drinking?
Me: Just for a bit.
SC: YOU FUCKING LOSER!
Me: And now you're not drinking. Next customer please.
SC: Guh....huh? Why? What did I doooooooo?
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A lady walked up to the bar, and many of us had to do double takes on her...because we actually thought it was Dolly Parton. It wasn't. But this woman could have been her identical twin. She even had the same dress sense.
She opened her mouth, and unfortunately she didn't treat us to Dolly's sweet, child-like voice. Instead we got the "Smokes 300 A Day Dolly Parton"
Dolly: AVVVV BEEEEEEN WAAIITTING FOOOOOOKKKKING AAAGGGEEESSSS 'EEEEERRREE!
Needless to say, we were shocked. And I had "Workin 9 til 5" stuck in my head for the rest of the night.
At that point, the three of us had cleared the bar, and had managed to get all the dirty glasses washed. We decided we had had enough, and resumed our now completely free night out.
My head is fucking killing me today.
So I finished my shift, and so did two of the awesome co-workers. The three of us sat down and grabbed a drink. Like I said, it was quiet, so we sat at the table closest to the bar so we could engage in conversation with the people who were still working.
Suddenly, out of no where, hundreds of people started pouring into the pub. And I mean hundreds. It was like a flash mob. All of a sudden, the pub went from being practically empty to jam packed in less than five minutes. The line for the bar was at least six people deep. It was so big, that our table was actually in the middle of the line! We felt very uncomfortable.
Me: Should we move?
ACW: I don't know...I feel really guilty.
Me: I know, but we have had a couple of beers, we can't help them. We've done our bit.
ACW: I know, but they are getting really, really slammed. I can't stand watching my friends suffer.
Me: Well maybe we should go somewhere else.
ACW started to look very uncomfortable. He was constantly looking up at the line, and then looking at the staff, and then looking at his drink.
ACW: I think we should go help.
Me: What?!
At this point, Manager was walking past carrying a mountain of glasses.
ACW: Can we do anything to help M?
M: If you help behind that bar for ten minutes, I will pay for all your drinks for the rest of the night.
ACW: Come on guys, lets get behind the bar.
The three of us walked behind the bar, and I actually thought the staff were going to start crying with joy. It was probably the most chaotic I have ever seen the pub, and because the three of us had a couple of beers in our system, well, let's just say we were a little braver.
I warn you, I may have been a dick in some of these stories.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Me: OK, who was next??
SC: I have been waiting forever!
Me: OK, what can I get you?
SC: This is ridiculous, why haven't you staffed accordingly? I mean, I shouldn't have to wait this long for a drink, I can't believe this, I have a good mind to complain blah blah blah blah blah *I tuned out at this point*
Me: Maybe it's because some customers are taking too long to order.
SC: You can't go around blaming other people for your mistakes, it is not my fault it is so busy and you are understaffed blah blah blah blah.
Another customer jumped in.
C: Pal, can't you take the hint? He was talking about you! Order and shut up!
SC: And your customers are very unpleasent too blah blah blah blah.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Me: What can I get you?
SC: Ohhh....ummmm...aaaahhh....ummmm....what kind of alcoholic beverages do you sell here?
I looked at the sea of faces glaring at me.
Me: I'm going to have to come back to you. Here's a menu.
SC: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A co-worker dropped and broke a glass. We were far too busy to sweep it up, so I simply kicked it under a glass cart.
SC: Excuuuuuussse me! But don't you think that is a little dangerous? What if someone stands on it?
Me: Fine, I'll go sweep it up.
SC: No! I have been waiting ages!
Me: Fine. I'll serve you.
SC: But what about the glass?
I simply walked away. Two co-workers burst out laughing. I don't think I would have done that if I was completely sober.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SC: Why are you three dressed differently to everyone else?
Me: Funny story. I finished work two hours ago and these guys were getting absolutely slammed, so we decided to help out a little.
SC: So you're working when you could be drinking?
Me: Just for a bit.
SC: YOU FUCKING LOSER!
Me: And now you're not drinking. Next customer please.
SC: Guh....huh? Why? What did I doooooooo?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A lady walked up to the bar, and many of us had to do double takes on her...because we actually thought it was Dolly Parton. It wasn't. But this woman could have been her identical twin. She even had the same dress sense.
She opened her mouth, and unfortunately she didn't treat us to Dolly's sweet, child-like voice. Instead we got the "Smokes 300 A Day Dolly Parton"
Dolly: AVVVV BEEEEEEN WAAIITTING FOOOOOOKKKKING AAAGGGEEESSSS 'EEEEERRREE!
Needless to say, we were shocked. And I had "Workin 9 til 5" stuck in my head for the rest of the night.
At that point, the three of us had cleared the bar, and had managed to get all the dirty glasses washed. We decided we had had enough, and resumed our now completely free night out.
My head is fucking killing me today.
That was absolutely PRICELESS!
How sad is it that some people are just so utterly self-centered that they think they can toss off nasty insults and not expect repercussions?!
and a plate of Hangover Cure Cookies. You fought the good fight. I sure hope you have the day off.
? 
I don't think you were a dick, CRML. You got your point across and you helped out the good customers.
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