Rebound Media SCs (longish but broken down)

[MystyGlyttyr]

As many of you know, I work at a newspaper in Texas. And as many of you also know, one of the things SCs LOOOOOVE to threaten is to "go to the media".

It turns out, sometimes, they aren't bluffing. Thus follows a small sampling of the fun I get to shoot down over the phone.

Wal-Mart Be Ebil!
Me: "Newsroom."
SC: "AH HAVE UH STAHRY AH T'INK YA'LL BE INNA-ESTED IAN!!"

(Oh, did I mention these are all broken down backwoods hillbilly rednecks? Well, you see what I have to deal with so I'll just write the English translations.)

Me: "Okay, what's it regarding?" (So I know which reporter to fob you off on.)
SC: "Wal-Mart is racist against the handicapped!"
Me: *ignoring the inherent wrongness of that statement* "How do you mean?"
SC: "Every time I go, EVERY TIME I GO, they don't have a wheelchair for me! I'm a disabled veteran-" *rantrantrant 20-minute explanation I didn't need*
Me: "Well, there are a lot of disabled veterans in the area and sometimes there's a lot of them at the store, and Wal-Mart only has a certain number of chairs..."
SC: "THEY NEVER HAVE ANY! THEY NEVER RANT RANT RANT!"
Me: "When do you go? Maybe if you go at different times-,"
SC: "I CAN'T DRIVE! I LIVE AT A NURSING HOME AND WHENEVER THE BUS GETS THERE, BY THE TIME I GET IN THE CHAIRS ARE ALL GONE."
Me: *facepalm*

I eventually palmed him off on an editor, who threw things at me for the duration of the call.

McDonalds Sucks!
I feel like this woman for this one, I really do.

Me: "Newsroom."
SC: "I need to talk to someone about a business!"
Me: "Well, our business reporter is out of the office at the moment, can I-,"
SC: "Well, I need to talk to SOMEONE right now!"

(This is quickest way to ensure that you will not be talking to ANYONE in MY newsroom.)

Me: "I can try to help you, ma'am."
SC: "The *street* McDonalds is gouging me! I have my receipt here and they're charging me almost a dollar for dining in! It's ILLEGAL! They can't charge me to eat in their restaurant!"
Me: "First of all, ma'am, when you go into a restaurant, order food, and exchange money for it, they ARE charging you to eat in their restaurant."
SC: "But when I go through the drive-thru, they don't charge me for dining in!"
Me: "Ma'am, does this charge say 'dine-in tax'?"
SC: "YES! See, they've gotten you, too!"
Me: "Ma'am, that's not a charge. All that is is the tax on your food. The 'dine-in' portion of it is only for the reference of the employees, so they know how to sort out the orders. Drive-thru receipts will have something like a 'carry out' tax."
SC: "THAT'S WRONG!!"
Me: "Ma'am, I've worked in two McDonalds. I'm very aware of their policies."
SC: "I want to speak a reporter!"
Me: "There's none in at the moment." *blatent lie*
SC: "I want someone to help me right now!"
Me: "Well, there's no one here at the moment but me, but let me give you a number to some people who will be able to help you, ma'am..."

I imagine she was mightily pissed afterwards when she realized I had directed her to a local mental health resource center. But she never called back, or if she did, no one mentioned it to me.

What's really sad is I get a "dine-in tax" complainer probably at least once a month. But 99% of them are perfectly understanding and happy to be corrected when I explain to them what it is, so at least there's some hope.

Generic complaint convo

The rest generally follow along these lines, when I establish there is no real problem other than "no one kissed my ass how I wanted!"

Me: "Newsroom."
SC: "I have a complaint about *business*! They *did some inane and perfectly understandable thing that's probably expressly written policy* and I think the public needs to know!"
Me: "Sir/ma'am, I can give you to our business reporter, but this doesn't sound like the sort of thing that we would cover."
SC: "But they *did something not in my immediate favor* and that's not right!"
Me: "Sir/ma'am, I can see no reason why that would be worthy of being included in our paper."
SC: "I'M A SUBSCRIBER TO YOUR PAPER!"
Me: "I'm happy to hear that, but you still don't have a story."
SC: "Maybe I'll just cancel my subscription, then!"
Me: "All right. Would you like me to transfer you to the circulation department so you can do that?"
SC: *long pause*
Me: "Sir/ma'am?"
SC: *hangs up, calls back 45 seconds later* "I need to talk to the business writer!"
Me: "Were you who I just talked to about *issue with business*?"
SC: "Just give me the business writer!!"
Me: *transfers to business writer*
SC: *gives sob story*
Business Writer: "That's not a story."
SC: *hangs up, rends clothing, knashes teeth*


The moral of this is, just because they say they're going to the media, doesn't mean they're bluffing. It just means that I get to shoot down everyone else's SCs with extreme prejudice. And that's why I love my job.

[protege]

I imagine she was mightily pissed afterwards when she realized I had directed her to a local mental health resource center. But she never called back, or if she did, no one mentioned it to me.

Now that was freaking awesome! I bet she had a *serious* case of CBF after that.

[Talon]

I imagine she was mightily pissed afterwards when she realized I had directed her to a local mental health resource center. But she never called back, or if she did, no one mentioned it to me.

My monitor is eternally grateful I obeyed rule#1 for that one!

SC: "Maybe I'll just cancel my subscription, then!"
Me: "All right. Would you like me to transfer you to the circulation department so you can do that?"
SC: *long pause*

Sounds like someone's entitlement high-horse just got shot with a silenced gun. I'd give a month's pay to see his/her face.

[Imogene]

Actually had someone get in my face about the 'dine-in tax' in my short stint at McD's... He got really loud about it, "How dare you charge me a tax to eat in."
"I didn't, hell, WE didn't. It's two separate thoughts there. Dine-in, and tax."
Guy slunk off, tail betwixt his legs.

[myswtghst]

Mysty, you are officially my hero. I keep thinking maybe I need to find a mental health number or something like that to keep handy for my SC's, to give them as a "backup."

[karma_gypsy]

I don't know how many times people have complained that they'll "go to the media" but it's nice to know that they don't even have a chance in hell to get their story printed. . .

Another thing they'd try and do is claim they'll report us to the BBB. Little did they realize that the business has to be a part of the BBB in the first place (which the place I worked at at the time wasn't).

[Spiffy McMoron]

Actually had someone get in my face about the 'dine-in tax' in my short stint at McD's... He got really loud about it, "How dare you charge me a tax to eat in."

"You think that's bad? You ought to see the fee we're going to charge you because you complained about it!"

[Becks]

I imagine she was mightily pissed afterwards when she realized I had directed her to a local mental health resource center.

Mysty, I have one hell of a girl crush on you, damn it.

[Imogene]

"You think that's bad? You ought to see the fee we're going to charge you because you complained about it!"

Awesome, I like that reply.

[ThePhoneGoddess]

Oh, newspapers.

I worked for one for several years...

We had *Jennifer's Mother*. She was kinda sad. "Jennifer" was this young woman who had been tragically murdered at a nightclub in town. The club had hired this young man who had recently got out of juvenile hall. He lured her up to the balcony over looking the stage and killed her. Of course this was in our paper and all, it was a big story for our little town.

Unfortunately her Mother did not deal with her grief in the best manner. She decided that it was the club's fault and made it her personal mission to get the club closed down. Never mind that

#1 it was the only club in town and was incredibly popular with the locals. People were very sympathetic towards her, and many of the younger kids had been friends with her daughter, but it was not the club's fault their janitor had chosen to do this.

#2 The perpetrator was hired as a janitor. Not a bouncer or any position of authority, but a janitor. it was considered a suitable job for a kid just released from juvie. Also, the crimes he had comitted previously were not nearly so bad (property theft and such), so nobody expected him to do anything like this.

Well she really made our lives miserable. The club regularly advertised with us, its shows for the week and such, and she couldn't handle that. She used to call every morning and rant and rave. Occasionally she came in and demanded to speak to the editor, which was a real *beeeeyotch* and refused to even come out of her office and deal with her, so we had to at the front desk. She then began having her friends call and berate us regularly. She demanded to be given a page of her own so she could rail about the club in print, and when the advertising staff refused, became enraged and threatened us with all sorts of stuff, mostly legal.

When I left it was still going on. I dont know what ever happened to her.

[SuperB]

Me: "Ma'am, that's not a charge. All that is is the tax on your food. The 'dine-in' portion of it is only for the reference of the employees, so they know how to sort out the orders. Drive-thru receipts will have something like a 'carry out' tax."
SC: "THAT'S WRONG!!"

They're fun, aren't they? People who don't understand tax. (the entertainment tax is different than sales tax, etc.)
I had a family in once, when they questioned the final price and I explained "tax" her response was "we live in Oregon". Good for you hon. She honestly thought that because she lived in Oregon, and Oregon doesn't have sales tax, that I shouldn't be charging her sales tax in *California*. I had to explain that you pay the tax on where you buy, not based on where you reside.

[Pagan]

I had a family in once, when they questioned the final price and I explained "tax" her response was "we live in Oregon".

OUCH!! Now excuse me whilst I go chase down my poor, frightened brain cells!

[HYHYBT]

It's two separate thoughts there. Dine-in, and tax.

Actually, it's one thought, which is why there are separate "total" keys for eat-in and take-out instead of marking it at the beginning (which would make things faster for the runner). It's to allow for states/counties/whatever that charge a higher rate for one than the other. Counter orders will say "eat in tax" or "take out tax" but I believe the Drive-Thru receipts just say "tax" (being at home, I don't have one to verify this), which would explain why she hadn't noticed it there.

(edit: I was wrong, it says "take out tax" on the DT receipts too)

Anyway, even if you were in such a place your complaint about ANY tax needs to be directed at the government, not the business.

[angelkirie]

I had a family in once, when they questioned the final price and I explained "tax" her response was "we live in Oregon". Good for you hon. She honestly thought that because she lived in Oregon, and Oregon doesn't have sales tax, that I shouldn't be charging her sales tax in *California*. I had to explain that you pay the tax on where you buy, not based on where you reside.

Many businesses have the choice of honoring no-tax states' exemptions. Here in Seattle most businesses do, but every once in awhile you'll get the people that think everyone HAS to honor it.

The good news is, if you ever come to Major Swedish Furniture Store in Seattle, and are from Alaska, Oregon, Montana, Guam, Northern Mariana Islands, Alberta Canada, or are having goods delivered to an Indian Reservation, no tax for you!

[reformedwaitress]

The good news is, if you ever come to Major Swedish Furniture Store in Seattle, and are from Alaska, Oregon, Montana, Guam, Northern Mariana Islands, Alberta Canada, or are having goods delivered to an Indian Reservation, no tax for you!

So how about I get a P.O. Box in Oregon? Would that allow me to get my swedish-store-we-aren't-naming fix tax free?