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Scammer's Learning Curve=Nonexistant (long but entertaining)
Here's one for the books. It all started when, a little over a week ago, a guy came thru the drive thru saying his order got messed up and he was here to have it replaced. I didn't deal with him personally, but I had the pleasure of hearing the whole thing.
SMS: Scammie McScammerton
Me: Your's truely
OT: My lovely order taker
M: Manager S
Bitch: Manager Bitch
CW: Teh poor cashier
SMS: *tells his woeful sob story of the disaster that was his order*
OT: Ok, who did you speak with?
SMS: Oh, my wife called so I'm not sure.
OT: Do you have the reciept?
SMS: I sure do! I know how it works and I have it right here in my hand!
OT: Ok, what was the order?
SMS: It was 6 nacho bellgrandes (priced at $3.17 each).
All: Oh fuck no.
OT: And when did you call?
SMS: 2 days ago.
OT: When did you order this?
SMS: 4 days ago.
OT: And what was wrong with it?
SMS: I got 6 meximelts instead.
Now, nacho bellgrandes are huge platters of nacho chips topped with beef, beans, nacho cheese, diced tomatoes and sour cream. You would need 2-3 large ass bags for 6 of them. Meximelts, in comparison, are very small. It's a 6" flour tortilla with beef, fiesta salsa and 3 cheese blend steamed and wrapped in a red wrapper. You could fit 6 of them in a small or medium bag depending on how tightly you wrap them. Unless you're the worlds biggest dumbass, there is no possible way you could look at a bag of meximelts and think there are 6 nacho bellgrandes in there. It's a plastic bag, not a magic portal.
All of us called his bluff and asked him to pull up so we could take care of other customers. M looked at his reciept and discovered it was from JUNE! No way in hell this guy came in 4 days ago. Also, the reciept was for 6 taco supremes, not nacho bellgrandes. He kept insisting he ordered 6 nacho bellgrandes.
M: Sir, I can't replace that amout of expensive food without a reciept or a name.
SMS: I have a reciept.
M: But it's over 3 months old. You claimed to have ordered this days ago. It doesn't add up.
SMS: Oh it must be the wrong reciept!
M: Can you call your wife and get a name for me?
SMS: *stutters* I-umm-well-she-the person didn't give her a name!
M: Then I can't help you.
SMS: It was 6 soft nacho bellgrandes
M: I don't even know what that is.
SMS: Soft shell taco bellgrande. It has flour chips and cheese and stuff.
M: Soft TACO SUPREMES?
SMS: Yeah yeah that's it!
M: So you ordered 6 soft taco supremes?
SMS: Yeah that's what I ordered.
M: Ok, well I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and give you half off. You will get the 6 soft taco supremes but I'll only charge you for 3.
SMS: But that manager I spoke to said I'd get it free!
M: Yes, but I need a name or a recpiet to replace an order. You can't give me a name and your story with the reciept isn't adding up. I can't give you the whole thing free, so I'm being nice here and meeting you halfway.
He grudgingly agrees and pays for half the order. We kept both the old and bew reciepts because it was obviously a scam. M didn't want him to have a current reciept. M went in back and made the order himself.
CW: Hey M? This guy wants to know if he can have nachos too.
Bitch: NO! NONONONONO! He's gettin half off and that's all he's gettin! Tell him hell no!
CW: Ok.
Scammie was not happy, but he left with his half off tacos and that was that....or so we thought.
Today, I was order taker and the same guy was cashier. Bitch and M were both on duty, so we had pretty much the same staff as that day. I'm tired and pissy and I wanna go home.
Me: Hi, how are you?
Customer: Hi, I'm here to have my order replaced.
Me: *this guy sounds farmiliar but I can't place his voice* When did you call?
Customer: I called yesterday. My order was messed up and the guy said he'd replace it for free, no problems.
Me: Who did you speak with?
Customer: Oh, I dont remember. He didn't say his name.
Me: Do you have your reciept with you?
Customer: No, I have a ton of old reciepts here but I don't know which is which.
Me: Ok, well I can't replace your order without a name or a reciept.
Customer: Well, I told the guy I talked to that I didn't have a reciept and he said it wasn't a problem.
Me: *bullshit* Ok, but I have to follow policy. If you had a name, I could find out what you were promised and get your order replaced. Because you don't have that, I can't do anything.
Customer: *whine whine whine bitch bitch cry*
Me: *please shut the hell up and leave so I can go home* What was the order?
If it was something small, I was going to just give it to him to get him out of here and away from me. By small, I mean like 2 tacos, breadsticks, a frutista, etc. Anything below $5.
Customer: 6 soft taco bellgrandes and a nacho supreme.
Me: *omg. I know this guy. It's SMS! Wtf is this dumbass doing back?! I can't believe he's trying to pull the same stunt twice!* Hold on a second sir. I'm going to speak to my manager to see what I can do.
I run over to M since he will know this guy.
Me: Hey M, remember that guy from a week ago with the reciept from June who ordered the 6 soft taco-
M: bellgrandes. Yeah. What about him?
Me: He's back and trying to pull the same shit! He doesn't know who he talked to, he doesn't have a reciept, and he's trying to get the 6 soft taco supremes again and a nacho bellgrande on top of that.
M: You're sure it's him?
Me: Positive. I know his voice and I remember his order.
M: Ok
I'll handle this. *grabs a headset* Can I help you?
SMS: Hey man, I called and talked to someone a few days ago and he said he'd replace my whole order no questions asked. I don't have a reciept and he didn't tell me his name but he said I didn't need a reciept.
M: What was the order?
SMS: It was 6 soft taco bellgrandes and a nacho bellgrande.
M: You mean 6 soft taco supremes and a nacho bellgrande?
SMS: Oh yeah thanks man! I can never remember the name of those things. I cane in a few days ago and my order was all wrong.
M: What was wrong with it?
SMS: Well, the nacho bellgrande, the tomatoes weren't all over, y'know?
M: What?
SMS: The tomatoes weren't all over.
M: You mean the tomatoes weren't spread out?
SMS: Yeah. They're supposed to be all over and they weren't.
M: That's how we make them. We have set portions for everything and we need to make food portioned properly quickly. We can't take the time to evenly spread out every ingrediant.
SMS: I know how you make them and it wasn't right.
M: Ok, well I can't give you anything without a reciept or a name.
SMS: I want a nacho bellhgrande made right.
M: You want to pay for a nacho bellgrande?
SMS: I want it made right.
M: *mouthes for me to ring it up*
Me: *rings up a nacho bellgrande*
M: Anything else?
SMS: And a water.
Me: *rings up a water*
M: Is that it?
SMS: Yeah.
Me: $3.17.
M: That will be $3.17.
SMS: But my tacos weren't right either!
M: What was wrong with the tacos?
SMS: They just, they weren't right!
M: Here's the thing. I remember you from last time. I'm the manager that spoke with you, I'm the one who gave you half off your replacment order, and I'm the one who made your food.
SMS: Well, you made it wrong.
M: No, I didn't. You asked for 6 soft taco supremes and that's exactly what I made you.
SMS: No man, they were all wrong.
M: You ordered 6 soft taco supremes, correct?
SMS: Yeah, but that isn't what I got.
M: Soft taco supremes come with beef, sour cream, lettuce, cheese and tomato. That's exactly what I made.
SMS: They didn't have sour cream.
M: Yes, they did. I put it on myself.
SMS: There was white stuff, but it wasn't sour cream. I know what sour cream looks like.
M: Oh? Then what was it?
SMS: I dunno, not sour cream.
M: You can't tell me who you talked to, you don't have a reciept and you can't tell me what was wrong with your order. You'r story isn't adding up this time either.
SMS: I just want my order replaced so I can go.
M: I'm in no position to give you anything. All the managers here know the rules. If you didn't have a reciept and you told them that as you said you did, any manager here would have made sure you wrote down their name so you wouldn't have any problems. Contradictions are piling up left and right. I cannot give you anything free.
SMS: Well what can I do?
M: Call 1-800-TACO-BELL.
SMS: I'm gonna go home and get my reciept and then I'll be back to prove you wrong! Don't leave!!!111!!!
M: I'll be here.
It looks like he's learning, just not enough. "Oh look! I just found another old as fuck reciept! Hey honey, we're eatin free tonight again! Oh wait, that one manager didn't like that my reciept was so old. I know! I'll not have a reciept! HAHAHAHH! Oh wait, I need a manager name or a reciept. I know! The nameless manager said I didn't need one! How gene-ass I be!"
He should have at least changed his order. Or kept a recent reciept. Or remembered a managers name from one of the billion times he tried to scam us. Oh yeah, Lydia said that moron comes in at least once a month trying to pull this same stunt. It seems he finally gave up on trying to scam us from the dining room and switched gears moving into the drive thru. Fun fun funfun. I'm curoius to see where this leads. He's proving to be quite amusing. Stupid, dumb as fuck, like a brick has more brain activity than this shmuck, but amusing.
SMS: Scammie McScammerton
Me: Your's truely
OT: My lovely order taker
M: Manager S
Bitch: Manager Bitch
CW: Teh poor cashier
SMS: *tells his woeful sob story of the disaster that was his order*
OT: Ok, who did you speak with?
SMS: Oh, my wife called so I'm not sure.
OT: Do you have the reciept?
SMS: I sure do! I know how it works and I have it right here in my hand!
OT: Ok, what was the order?
SMS: It was 6 nacho bellgrandes (priced at $3.17 each).
All: Oh fuck no.
OT: And when did you call?
SMS: 2 days ago.
OT: When did you order this?
SMS: 4 days ago.
OT: And what was wrong with it?
SMS: I got 6 meximelts instead.
Now, nacho bellgrandes are huge platters of nacho chips topped with beef, beans, nacho cheese, diced tomatoes and sour cream. You would need 2-3 large ass bags for 6 of them. Meximelts, in comparison, are very small. It's a 6" flour tortilla with beef, fiesta salsa and 3 cheese blend steamed and wrapped in a red wrapper. You could fit 6 of them in a small or medium bag depending on how tightly you wrap them. Unless you're the worlds biggest dumbass, there is no possible way you could look at a bag of meximelts and think there are 6 nacho bellgrandes in there. It's a plastic bag, not a magic portal.
All of us called his bluff and asked him to pull up so we could take care of other customers. M looked at his reciept and discovered it was from JUNE! No way in hell this guy came in 4 days ago. Also, the reciept was for 6 taco supremes, not nacho bellgrandes. He kept insisting he ordered 6 nacho bellgrandes.
M: Sir, I can't replace that amout of expensive food without a reciept or a name.
SMS: I have a reciept.
M: But it's over 3 months old. You claimed to have ordered this days ago. It doesn't add up.
SMS: Oh it must be the wrong reciept!
M: Can you call your wife and get a name for me?
SMS: *stutters* I-umm-well-she-the person didn't give her a name!
M: Then I can't help you.
SMS: It was 6 soft nacho bellgrandes
M: I don't even know what that is.
SMS: Soft shell taco bellgrande. It has flour chips and cheese and stuff.
M: Soft TACO SUPREMES?
SMS: Yeah yeah that's it!
M: So you ordered 6 soft taco supremes?
SMS: Yeah that's what I ordered.
M: Ok, well I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and give you half off. You will get the 6 soft taco supremes but I'll only charge you for 3.
SMS: But that manager I spoke to said I'd get it free!
M: Yes, but I need a name or a recpiet to replace an order. You can't give me a name and your story with the reciept isn't adding up. I can't give you the whole thing free, so I'm being nice here and meeting you halfway.
He grudgingly agrees and pays for half the order. We kept both the old and bew reciepts because it was obviously a scam. M didn't want him to have a current reciept. M went in back and made the order himself.
CW: Hey M? This guy wants to know if he can have nachos too.
Bitch: NO! NONONONONO! He's gettin half off and that's all he's gettin! Tell him hell no!
CW: Ok.
Scammie was not happy, but he left with his half off tacos and that was that....or so we thought.
Today, I was order taker and the same guy was cashier. Bitch and M were both on duty, so we had pretty much the same staff as that day. I'm tired and pissy and I wanna go home.
Me: Hi, how are you?
Customer: Hi, I'm here to have my order replaced.
Me: *this guy sounds farmiliar but I can't place his voice* When did you call?
Customer: I called yesterday. My order was messed up and the guy said he'd replace it for free, no problems.
Me: Who did you speak with?
Customer: Oh, I dont remember. He didn't say his name.
Me: Do you have your reciept with you?
Customer: No, I have a ton of old reciepts here but I don't know which is which.
Me: Ok, well I can't replace your order without a name or a reciept.
Customer: Well, I told the guy I talked to that I didn't have a reciept and he said it wasn't a problem.
Me: *bullshit* Ok, but I have to follow policy. If you had a name, I could find out what you were promised and get your order replaced. Because you don't have that, I can't do anything.
Customer: *whine whine whine bitch bitch cry*
Me: *please shut the hell up and leave so I can go home* What was the order?
If it was something small, I was going to just give it to him to get him out of here and away from me. By small, I mean like 2 tacos, breadsticks, a frutista, etc. Anything below $5.
Customer: 6 soft taco bellgrandes and a nacho supreme.
Me: *omg. I know this guy. It's SMS! Wtf is this dumbass doing back?! I can't believe he's trying to pull the same stunt twice!* Hold on a second sir. I'm going to speak to my manager to see what I can do.
I run over to M since he will know this guy.
Me: Hey M, remember that guy from a week ago with the reciept from June who ordered the 6 soft taco-
M: bellgrandes. Yeah. What about him?
Me: He's back and trying to pull the same shit! He doesn't know who he talked to, he doesn't have a reciept, and he's trying to get the 6 soft taco supremes again and a nacho bellgrande on top of that.
M: You're sure it's him?
Me: Positive. I know his voice and I remember his order.
M: Ok
I'll handle this. *grabs a headset* Can I help you?SMS: Hey man, I called and talked to someone a few days ago and he said he'd replace my whole order no questions asked. I don't have a reciept and he didn't tell me his name but he said I didn't need a reciept.
M: What was the order?
SMS: It was 6 soft taco bellgrandes and a nacho bellgrande.
M: You mean 6 soft taco supremes and a nacho bellgrande?
SMS: Oh yeah thanks man! I can never remember the name of those things. I cane in a few days ago and my order was all wrong.
M: What was wrong with it?
SMS: Well, the nacho bellgrande, the tomatoes weren't all over, y'know?
M: What?
SMS: The tomatoes weren't all over.
M: You mean the tomatoes weren't spread out?
SMS: Yeah. They're supposed to be all over and they weren't.
M: That's how we make them. We have set portions for everything and we need to make food portioned properly quickly. We can't take the time to evenly spread out every ingrediant.
SMS: I know how you make them and it wasn't right.
M: Ok, well I can't give you anything without a reciept or a name.
SMS: I want a nacho bellhgrande made right.
M: You want to pay for a nacho bellgrande?
SMS: I want it made right.
M: *mouthes for me to ring it up*
Me: *rings up a nacho bellgrande*
M: Anything else?
SMS: And a water.
Me: *rings up a water*
M: Is that it?
SMS: Yeah.
Me: $3.17.
M: That will be $3.17.
SMS: But my tacos weren't right either!
M: What was wrong with the tacos?
SMS: They just, they weren't right!
M: Here's the thing. I remember you from last time. I'm the manager that spoke with you, I'm the one who gave you half off your replacment order, and I'm the one who made your food.
SMS: Well, you made it wrong.
M: No, I didn't. You asked for 6 soft taco supremes and that's exactly what I made you.
SMS: No man, they were all wrong.
M: You ordered 6 soft taco supremes, correct?
SMS: Yeah, but that isn't what I got.
M: Soft taco supremes come with beef, sour cream, lettuce, cheese and tomato. That's exactly what I made.
SMS: They didn't have sour cream.
M: Yes, they did. I put it on myself.
SMS: There was white stuff, but it wasn't sour cream. I know what sour cream looks like.
M: Oh? Then what was it?
SMS: I dunno, not sour cream.
M: You can't tell me who you talked to, you don't have a reciept and you can't tell me what was wrong with your order. You'r story isn't adding up this time either.
SMS: I just want my order replaced so I can go.
M: I'm in no position to give you anything. All the managers here know the rules. If you didn't have a reciept and you told them that as you said you did, any manager here would have made sure you wrote down their name so you wouldn't have any problems. Contradictions are piling up left and right. I cannot give you anything free.
SMS: Well what can I do?
M: Call 1-800-TACO-BELL.
SMS: I'm gonna go home and get my reciept and then I'll be back to prove you wrong! Don't leave!!!111!!!
M: I'll be here.
It looks like he's learning, just not enough. "Oh look! I just found another old as fuck reciept! Hey honey, we're eatin free tonight again! Oh wait, that one manager didn't like that my reciept was so old. I know! I'll not have a reciept! HAHAHAHH! Oh wait, I need a manager name or a reciept. I know! The nameless manager said I didn't need one! How gene-ass I be!"
He should have at least changed his order. Or kept a recent reciept. Or remembered a managers name from one of the billion times he tried to scam us. Oh yeah, Lydia said that moron comes in at least once a month trying to pull this same stunt. It seems he finally gave up on trying to scam us from the dining room and switched gears moving into the drive thru. Fun fun funfun. I'm curoius to see where this leads. He's proving to be quite amusing. Stupid, dumb as fuck, like a brick has more brain activity than this shmuck, but amusing.
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