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I’ve read a lot of these stories, but I feel like I have the mack daddy of all SCs with this one. It’s not even one story, but a collection from over a nearly three year span of working for the CFA (fast food chicken restaurant founded in Georgia, I think you can figure this one out).
Just to start, let me tell you a little about the offending party. We lovingly refer to the as “The Mafia.” Essentially, they are travelers, almost gypsys if you will. They are famous for scamming people with construction jobs in the area (a couple were arrested for charging some old lady about 100K and not doing any work. Poor thing had Alzheimer’s). They’re very easy to spot when they enter the restaurant. Bright red face, like they were yelling at someone, the guys dress in nice preppy clothes, the girls dress like total sluts (I’m surprised nothing has popped out at me yet), they all REEK of cheap perfume or cologne. You can smell them before they even reach the door. I can’t even describe the stench when they come in masse. So if their presence isn’t bad, it only gets worse.
Typically, they will come in as huge groups, 20-50 people about five or ten minutes before we close. So they totally flood the dining room and they can’t figure out how to form lines or order in any sort of rational sense. People just start blurting out orders, and It’s nearly impossible to keep them all straight. Then, they don’t remember what they ordered and they never come back to get their food. We wind up staying open for about an extra 30 or 40 minutes just getting the orders done and everything. And, they want everything well done. And tons of sweet and sour sauce, like beyond what humans should be able to consume. And of course, we always happen to forget something on their order, so they always lie to us to get more food for free. And when it comes time to leave, the leave ALL of their trash spread out on the table. So we’re left with a big stinking messy dining to start cleaning nearly an hour after we were closed. Every table is trashed, covered in sauce, we’ll find the remnants of their food fights, etc. This is the typical case. Sometimes they will come in earlier in the day, but they never clean up their trash, never. I’d like to say that some of them are different, but everyone who fits into the Mafia group is like this. I only ever served one guy who was nice. He cleaned up his mess, was polite the whole time. I never saw him again. I just assumed they had him flogged.
So we’ve got this group, probably atleast 200 people who come in varying groups and sizes. Young and old, they all suck beyond all belief. And there’s not a damn thing we can do about it. Thanks to wonderful corporate policies we cannot refuse service to these people. And even if we did, they would claim they weren’t with that group. I honestly heard this excuse once. After one of their massive raids left, we were out in the dining room picking up the mess and a couple came out of the bathroom. They instantly said “Oh, we weren’t with them. We’re the good ones.” What a crock of shit! Same thing if we ever mention to them about the huge mess they made last time, they simply say “Oh, that wasn’t me.” Which, I honestly couldn’t tell you if they’re lying or not, because they all look so alike (supposedly they are fairly inbred.)
So you’re probably thinking, “well that sounds pretty bad. How could it be worse?” Oh, let me tell you, this is just the tip of the iceberg.
We come to expect that type of behavior every time they come in. Here are some specific stories that just make it worse:
Our first encounter with the Mafia was only a few months after being open. I had just finished cleaning the side dining room by myself, which we usually block off with some trash cans to keep people from sitting there and messing it up. Well, they come in with their flood and start sitting over in that area, simply walking through the trash cans. Of course, we’re too busy to tell them not to sit there, so my half hour of work is totally undone. Well, my manager is pissed at this point, he’s already calling them every name possible when we find out there are still a few in the bathroom. So he goes to kick them out when he finds that the door is being held shut. There were about five or six of them in the guys bathroom having sex! He just goes off on them “Open this fucking door right now and get the hell out of my restaurant or I’m calling the fucking cops!” This was pretty much the only time we were ever able to fight back without getting in trouble.
So we got a new night manager, and he loved just messing with the Mafia in any way he could. He hated them possibly more than I do. So one night, he sees them pulling up, and he bolts to lock up one of the doors. Well, they see him locking the one door, so they all bolt for the other door. He pretty much runs up to the register and yells at them all to get out. I was so proud of him. Another time, they actually got in the restaurant a few minutes earlier and my manager was getting beyond pissed. I could just see in his eyes that he was about to yell something that was gonna get him written up. First he saw a food fight going on, so he yell’s out “Hey, you little shits!” All I can think is, “Oh no, he’s gonna get in big trouble with corporate.” Well, they start to leave in a hurry, forgetting their trash like always and he’s about ready to explode, so I yell out “PICK UP YOUR TRASH BEFORE YOU LEAVE, THANK YOU!” as loud as I can. Everyone on the crew thanked me for taking the bullet. But our Mafia friends hung around outside for awhile, apparently making threats against me. So I stuck around inside after we were done until we were closed. After a while, they started to know me as the guy they actually made them pick up their trash. I came in one night just to pick someone up and the mafia was there. After they left the store, they were walking outside (I’m in street clothes doing homework by the way) and they start banging on the window, trying to get my attention. They all start making threatening and rude gestures at me, and I didn’t even say a word to them. Guess they really hated me.
I probably deserved their hate though, because I did everything in my power to piss them off. One time, I acted like the biggest idiot possible, incapable of taking an order, so I made everyone who ordered from me repeat stuff again and again, going slow (basically making them act like good decent people). Another time, someone asked me for something, and I totally blew him off, saying I had to do something. I simply walked out of eyesight and relaxed for a minute. We also have a rule that after we lock the doors, no one is allowed in the restaurant for anything, simply for the safety of my crew. Well, they came by one night. We have two doors, one of which has a push bar so customers can get out after we close, but not back in. Well, one of these geniouses orders his food and walks outside. So he starts banging on the door asking to be let back in. Oops, too bad for you. I tell him know and then stand guard by the door, making sure these douche bags don’t try and let him back in. And as they leave, they all try and tell me that they picked up their trash. Yeah, it was still a total mess.
I’ve still got plenty more, so here we go. One day, the older Mafia members (the ones we deal with at night are teens to early 20s) decided to come in around lunch time. Well, someone allowed these things to breed (getting a good feel for my hatred yet?) and they had a few kids with them (and believe me, their little kids are just as bad as the adults). One of these kids is shouting, screaming, yelling for an ice cream cone. Well, she gets him one to shut up. But does he eat it? No! He starts smearing it all over the floor, making a huge mess. And does mommy try and tell him he shouldn’t do that? Nope, all the parents just start laughing. My manager simply says “Maybe he wouldn’t act like that if you didn’t encourage him.” Ooh, big mistake. No sooner were they out the door when my manager gets a call from the operator asking what he did to piss them off. They had called corporate and corporate had called the operator. All my manager had to say was “It was Mafia” and the whole situation defused. And another time, this same group was in. We had a box of the kids toys sitting on the counter as we were loading them into bags. One of them starts taking the toys out of the bag. Luckily one of our employees caught her and made her give them all back.
There are only three mafia members that I can distinguish, and one of them we lovingly call Mamma Mafia. She’s the oldest one we know of and by far the nastiest of them all. Often times we give out coupons in the drive thru. Sometimes we do what are called Customer Loyalty Monitors (CLMs) where customers can answer a quick survey by phone, write down the code they get at the end and bring the coupon back in for a free sandwich. Well, Mamma Mafia comes through our drive thru and the girl working the window was too nice for her own good. She gives Mamma a coupon and of course, she asks for another (she’s not strapped for cash in anyway, the way she dresses) and the girl gives it to her. They are supposed to be one per customer, so we’ve already gone above and beyond for this bitch. Well, she wanted all her food well done (big shock there, we already had a gallon of sweet and sour for her as well), so we have to park her to keep the drive thru moving. Her food comes up and someone goes and takes it out to her. She comes back in and says that Mamma wants another coupon. My manager says sorry, she’s already gotten two when she should have only gotten one. So the girl goes out and lets her know. Well, my manager gets a call from Mamma. He said he’s never heard so many curse words out of an old lady before in his life. She said that she was a good customer, she was related to the best customers in the state, that she have my managers job, etc. Yeah right lady. She still comes in and tries to act all nice, “god bless you” this and that and always asks for coupons. No one ever gives them to her ever. They all got banned from getting coupons after that little stunt.
Ok, we’re almost at the end of this rant. The other Mafia members I recognize are Fat Ass Mother and Daughter. I think any second they are simply gonna explode out of their skin. Mommy has taught her daughter well, because they are both proficient at trying to scam us for free food and the like. We have this little display case with a cheesecake, lemon pie, brownie, and one of the plush cows. Well the Daughter reaches in and tries to take one of the deserts. Let me tell you, these things sit there for weeks. We only really replace them when we notice them getting moldy. Someone told her that she probably didn’t want to eat that. I would have just let her. Would have been pretty funny. Oh, and that cow, it got stolen at some point by one of them.
The Mafia is like the Super Sucky Customers. Scammers, liars, messy, rude, insatiable, nasty. You’ve got it all in one super smelly package. If anyone has had to deal with this plague, I’d love to hear about it.
Just to start, let me tell you a little about the offending party. We lovingly refer to the as “The Mafia.” Essentially, they are travelers, almost gypsys if you will. They are famous for scamming people with construction jobs in the area (a couple were arrested for charging some old lady about 100K and not doing any work. Poor thing had Alzheimer’s). They’re very easy to spot when they enter the restaurant. Bright red face, like they were yelling at someone, the guys dress in nice preppy clothes, the girls dress like total sluts (I’m surprised nothing has popped out at me yet), they all REEK of cheap perfume or cologne. You can smell them before they even reach the door. I can’t even describe the stench when they come in masse. So if their presence isn’t bad, it only gets worse.
Typically, they will come in as huge groups, 20-50 people about five or ten minutes before we close. So they totally flood the dining room and they can’t figure out how to form lines or order in any sort of rational sense. People just start blurting out orders, and It’s nearly impossible to keep them all straight. Then, they don’t remember what they ordered and they never come back to get their food. We wind up staying open for about an extra 30 or 40 minutes just getting the orders done and everything. And, they want everything well done. And tons of sweet and sour sauce, like beyond what humans should be able to consume. And of course, we always happen to forget something on their order, so they always lie to us to get more food for free. And when it comes time to leave, the leave ALL of their trash spread out on the table. So we’re left with a big stinking messy dining to start cleaning nearly an hour after we were closed. Every table is trashed, covered in sauce, we’ll find the remnants of their food fights, etc. This is the typical case. Sometimes they will come in earlier in the day, but they never clean up their trash, never. I’d like to say that some of them are different, but everyone who fits into the Mafia group is like this. I only ever served one guy who was nice. He cleaned up his mess, was polite the whole time. I never saw him again. I just assumed they had him flogged.
So we’ve got this group, probably atleast 200 people who come in varying groups and sizes. Young and old, they all suck beyond all belief. And there’s not a damn thing we can do about it. Thanks to wonderful corporate policies we cannot refuse service to these people. And even if we did, they would claim they weren’t with that group. I honestly heard this excuse once. After one of their massive raids left, we were out in the dining room picking up the mess and a couple came out of the bathroom. They instantly said “Oh, we weren’t with them. We’re the good ones.” What a crock of shit! Same thing if we ever mention to them about the huge mess they made last time, they simply say “Oh, that wasn’t me.” Which, I honestly couldn’t tell you if they’re lying or not, because they all look so alike (supposedly they are fairly inbred.)
So you’re probably thinking, “well that sounds pretty bad. How could it be worse?” Oh, let me tell you, this is just the tip of the iceberg.
We come to expect that type of behavior every time they come in. Here are some specific stories that just make it worse:
Our first encounter with the Mafia was only a few months after being open. I had just finished cleaning the side dining room by myself, which we usually block off with some trash cans to keep people from sitting there and messing it up. Well, they come in with their flood and start sitting over in that area, simply walking through the trash cans. Of course, we’re too busy to tell them not to sit there, so my half hour of work is totally undone. Well, my manager is pissed at this point, he’s already calling them every name possible when we find out there are still a few in the bathroom. So he goes to kick them out when he finds that the door is being held shut. There were about five or six of them in the guys bathroom having sex! He just goes off on them “Open this fucking door right now and get the hell out of my restaurant or I’m calling the fucking cops!” This was pretty much the only time we were ever able to fight back without getting in trouble.
So we got a new night manager, and he loved just messing with the Mafia in any way he could. He hated them possibly more than I do. So one night, he sees them pulling up, and he bolts to lock up one of the doors. Well, they see him locking the one door, so they all bolt for the other door. He pretty much runs up to the register and yells at them all to get out. I was so proud of him. Another time, they actually got in the restaurant a few minutes earlier and my manager was getting beyond pissed. I could just see in his eyes that he was about to yell something that was gonna get him written up. First he saw a food fight going on, so he yell’s out “Hey, you little shits!” All I can think is, “Oh no, he’s gonna get in big trouble with corporate.” Well, they start to leave in a hurry, forgetting their trash like always and he’s about ready to explode, so I yell out “PICK UP YOUR TRASH BEFORE YOU LEAVE, THANK YOU!” as loud as I can. Everyone on the crew thanked me for taking the bullet. But our Mafia friends hung around outside for awhile, apparently making threats against me. So I stuck around inside after we were done until we were closed. After a while, they started to know me as the guy they actually made them pick up their trash. I came in one night just to pick someone up and the mafia was there. After they left the store, they were walking outside (I’m in street clothes doing homework by the way) and they start banging on the window, trying to get my attention. They all start making threatening and rude gestures at me, and I didn’t even say a word to them. Guess they really hated me.
I probably deserved their hate though, because I did everything in my power to piss them off. One time, I acted like the biggest idiot possible, incapable of taking an order, so I made everyone who ordered from me repeat stuff again and again, going slow (basically making them act like good decent people). Another time, someone asked me for something, and I totally blew him off, saying I had to do something. I simply walked out of eyesight and relaxed for a minute. We also have a rule that after we lock the doors, no one is allowed in the restaurant for anything, simply for the safety of my crew. Well, they came by one night. We have two doors, one of which has a push bar so customers can get out after we close, but not back in. Well, one of these geniouses orders his food and walks outside. So he starts banging on the door asking to be let back in. Oops, too bad for you. I tell him know and then stand guard by the door, making sure these douche bags don’t try and let him back in. And as they leave, they all try and tell me that they picked up their trash. Yeah, it was still a total mess.
I’ve still got plenty more, so here we go. One day, the older Mafia members (the ones we deal with at night are teens to early 20s) decided to come in around lunch time. Well, someone allowed these things to breed (getting a good feel for my hatred yet?) and they had a few kids with them (and believe me, their little kids are just as bad as the adults). One of these kids is shouting, screaming, yelling for an ice cream cone. Well, she gets him one to shut up. But does he eat it? No! He starts smearing it all over the floor, making a huge mess. And does mommy try and tell him he shouldn’t do that? Nope, all the parents just start laughing. My manager simply says “Maybe he wouldn’t act like that if you didn’t encourage him.” Ooh, big mistake. No sooner were they out the door when my manager gets a call from the operator asking what he did to piss them off. They had called corporate and corporate had called the operator. All my manager had to say was “It was Mafia” and the whole situation defused. And another time, this same group was in. We had a box of the kids toys sitting on the counter as we were loading them into bags. One of them starts taking the toys out of the bag. Luckily one of our employees caught her and made her give them all back.
There are only three mafia members that I can distinguish, and one of them we lovingly call Mamma Mafia. She’s the oldest one we know of and by far the nastiest of them all. Often times we give out coupons in the drive thru. Sometimes we do what are called Customer Loyalty Monitors (CLMs) where customers can answer a quick survey by phone, write down the code they get at the end and bring the coupon back in for a free sandwich. Well, Mamma Mafia comes through our drive thru and the girl working the window was too nice for her own good. She gives Mamma a coupon and of course, she asks for another (she’s not strapped for cash in anyway, the way she dresses) and the girl gives it to her. They are supposed to be one per customer, so we’ve already gone above and beyond for this bitch. Well, she wanted all her food well done (big shock there, we already had a gallon of sweet and sour for her as well), so we have to park her to keep the drive thru moving. Her food comes up and someone goes and takes it out to her. She comes back in and says that Mamma wants another coupon. My manager says sorry, she’s already gotten two when she should have only gotten one. So the girl goes out and lets her know. Well, my manager gets a call from Mamma. He said he’s never heard so many curse words out of an old lady before in his life. She said that she was a good customer, she was related to the best customers in the state, that she have my managers job, etc. Yeah right lady. She still comes in and tries to act all nice, “god bless you” this and that and always asks for coupons. No one ever gives them to her ever. They all got banned from getting coupons after that little stunt.
Ok, we’re almost at the end of this rant. The other Mafia members I recognize are Fat Ass Mother and Daughter. I think any second they are simply gonna explode out of their skin. Mommy has taught her daughter well, because they are both proficient at trying to scam us for free food and the like. We have this little display case with a cheesecake, lemon pie, brownie, and one of the plush cows. Well the Daughter reaches in and tries to take one of the deserts. Let me tell you, these things sit there for weeks. We only really replace them when we notice them getting moldy. Someone told her that she probably didn’t want to eat that. I would have just let her. Would have been pretty funny. Oh, and that cow, it got stolen at some point by one of them.
The Mafia is like the Super Sucky Customers. Scammers, liars, messy, rude, insatiable, nasty. You’ve got it all in one super smelly package. If anyone has had to deal with this plague, I’d love to hear about it.
I had heard the derogatory term "Piker" before, but not the others. Maybe we simply don't have any here.
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