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  • Crazy guest is crazy

    This guest has been with us for a while. She's a bit...nuts. We shall call her Crazy Guest, or CG for short. She writes letters to herself and mails them. We know because the handwriting on the envelopes matches the handwriting on her registration card.

    Today, we had a few notable touches of crazy from her.

    First, she only wanted one specific housekeeper to clean her room. This housekeeper was in a different section of the hotel. CW explained to her that the housekeeper in question had her own rooms to clean. CG then wanted the "one with the red hair". We have three housekeepers with reddish hair, two of which were working today. Apparently, CG called down upset because CW guessed the wrong one.

    When her mail came in (including one letter addressed to her in her own handwriting), she got a check. She tried to pay for her rent with this check. Except that (1) we don't take checks and (2) it was made out to her husband. I explained this to her as simply as I could. She accused me of making things difficult for her and freaked out about what to do, since her bank isn't open on weekends and she can't go until Monday (I did not feel like reminding her that Monday is Columbus Day and the banks won't be open). She finally gave up and hung up on me.

    Most recently, her microwave screen wasn't clearing. Maint Man had long since left at this point, so I send Head Housekeeper up there. It should be noted that we only have a few microwaves in only a few of the rooms, and we've sort of randomly accrued these microwaves over the years, so they're all different and I don't know which specific ones are in which specific rooms. Since they're all different, sometimes it takes a little fiddling to acclimate yourself to how that specific model works.

    CG calls down a little bit after I sent Head Housekeeper up there, CG calls down in a rage.

    CG: "Can you send someone who knows what they're doing! Why do you just send someone who doesn't know anything more about this than I do?"
    *Head Housekeeper walks in the back.*
    Me: "I'm sorry, I don't have anyone else to send ..."
    CG: "Just send the maintenance man."
    Me: "I'm sorry, my maintenance man is gone for the day."
    CG: "What? Well then can you send Boss Man or some man up who knows what they are doing?"
    Me: "I'm sorry, Boss Man is off property right now." (A lie, but it's my method of screening the crazies. Boss Man was sleeping and I doubted he wanted to deal with this.)
    CG: "What about the short man? The one who fixes my door?"
    Me: "That's Maint Man, and he's gone for the day."
    CG: "What?"
    Head Housekeeper is waving me down.
    Me: "Hang on, can you hold for just a minute?"

    I put her on hold. Head Housekeeper tells me that was trying to unplug and replug-in the microwave since the screen appeared to be frozen. CG then started screaming at her that she was going to break it and kicked her out. Head Housekeeper even offered to replace the microwave, but CG refused.

    Me: "Thank you for holding."
    CG: "Why can't you send someone else up?"
    Me: "As I said, there is no one else here."
    CG: "Where's Maint Man? You need to take care of you property and your tenants you know!"
    Me: "He went home. He doesn't stay here all the time."
    CG: "Well he needs to fix this!"
    Me: "He will be here in the morning."
    CG: "You need to take care of your guests!"
    Me: "Head Housekeeper tried to reset the microwave and even offered a replacement one for you, but you kicked her out."
    CG: "She was going to break it! I had to stop her before she broke it! Because then she would be in big trouble, wouldn't she? And then I would be in trouble!"
    Me: "I'm sorry, but you didn't like the solutions she offered, so..."
    CG: *starts to cry* "I rented this room for privacy, and you have just dozens of people coming into my room, and you're making this so difficult! You need to call Boss Man and tell him he needs to come back to the property and do something about this!"
    Me: "I'm not sure when his meeting gets out, but I will tell him that..."
    CG: *click*

    So I called Boss Man.

    Me: "The guest in room 203 is having trouble with her microwave. She wouldn't let Head Housekeeper touch it; she screamed at her and kicked her out when she tried to unplug it and plug it back in. She wants Maint Man to fix it, but I told her Maint Man was gone. You wanna do something about it?"
    Boss Man: "Maybe. What's her name?"
    Me: "Crazy Guest."
    Boss Man: "Ahhh her....uh, tell her I'm not on property."
    Me: "I already did."
    Boss Man: "Good. And, uh...tell her you called me and all we can offer at this time is a discount on the room."
    Me: "Okay."
    Boss Man: "I'm not here."

    Fortunately, CG was eventually able to figure out her microwave, and she did call back and apologize, but that was just nuts.
    Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

  • #2
    Wow...why has she not been kicked out yet? If someone started screaming at one of my employees, particularly after something so stupid, they'd be out the door in a blink.

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    • #3
      Quoth bhskittykatt View Post
      This guest has been with us for a while. She's a bit...nuts. We shall call her Crazy Guest, or CG for short. She writes letters to herself and mails them. We know because the handwriting on the envelopes matches the handwriting on her registration card.
      Know what this part reminds me of? Is anyone familiar with the Mr. Bean Christmas special? There's a part where he writes himself some cards, then gets excited when he sees he has mail.
      To right the countless wrongs of our days... We shine this light of true redemption, that this place may become as paradise...Oh, what a wonderful world such would be...

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      • #4
        Quoth Mr Hero View Post
        Know what this part reminds me of? Is anyone familiar with the Mr. Bean Christmas special? There's a part where he writes himself some cards, then gets excited when he sees he has mail.
        LOL! I love that one.

        I hope we never have a Mr. Bean stay here. I've seen that episode, and I don't want that here! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yi9207WmpTc
        Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

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