The Close Talker

[nuthing12]

Here's a trick you can try. Take a step back and before he has a chance to take a step forward, start making wild hand gestures when you speak. This will force the intruder to stand back or else get whacked with your hands. And if he does get hit and whines about it, this is the perfect chance to ask why he would be stupid enough to walk into a pair of flailing arms.

[Kaibutsu]

We had a regular back in when I worked at Blockbuster who would sneak up behind you if you, yell "BOO! GOTCHA!" with his lips an inch from your ear and then stand just as close while asking about the new releases for the week since looking up at the board was an annoyance for him. (Really. that's exactly what he told us. ) His breath smelled like ass but luckily his BO was even worse so he only gotcha once!

You guys are way too forgiving. If Stinky would have pulled that in our store the official report would have said: "I thought I was being robbed and defended myself."

That's not just me- the women at our place were vicious. They liked to chase after guys that would steal tapes [yes, VHS - it's been awhile].

[emax4]

When you read the title, did you, like me, think of Judge Reinhold's appearance on Seinfeld (The close-talker)?

Maybe you could face him with your hands out and simply say, "you need to respect my personal space". Blunt, but he'll get the hint.

[Athaelia]

I once had a lady who thought she lost her diamond ring in the bathroom trash can. Cue me grabbing a box of gloves. As I began to search the stinking mess, she just. stood. there. and.watched.

I handed her a pair of gloves.
"Ma'am, you'll probably find this ring A LOT faster if you helped me here"

Sure enough, there it was, halfway inside a disposible towel among the shitty diapers, snot-rags, and other foul garbage contents.

[customersruinmylife]

I once had a lady who thought she lost her diamond ring in the bathroom trash can. Cue me grabbing a box of gloves. As I began to search the stinking mess, she just. stood. there. and.watched.

I handed her a pair of gloves.
"Ma'am, you'll probably find this ring A LOT faster if you helped me here"

Sure enough, there it was, halfway inside a disposible towel among the shitty diapers, snot-rags, and other foul garbage contents.

Ugh! I've seen that happen before as well. A female customer was panicking because she thought she had lost an earing and that we had thrown it in the trash. I was told to go through the bags (without a pair of gloves!!). I flat out refused. The manager then dramatically started going through the bags, berating me on what a big deal I was making.

The lady, in the mean time, had found her earring at the bottom of her purse and had left the pub...without telling anyone.

[plantlvr]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ipeh0...eature=related

[Kittish]

My reaction to a 'space invader' like that is to step FORWARD and onto their toes. If they say anything, tell em flatly that they shouldn't have been so close. If they get up close again, step on their toes again. Eventually they either get the message or give up and go away. Of course, this tactic fails if the invader in question is wearing steel toed work boots, but that doesn't happen too often.

[XCashier]

Unfortunately, the link doesn't work in the US.

Try this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZMgIJuzvH24

[earl colby pottinger]

Elbow

To the person who yelled Boo from behind, he would had gotten a sharp and fast elbow - and I would point out it was a survival reflex from growing up with four other brothers.

[mariamousie1]

Sounds like he was completely blind without his glasses and was trying to see you. This also explains how he ended up in the kitchen.

[Marmalady]

To the person who yelled Boo from behind, he would had gotten a sharp and fast elbow - and I would point out it was a survival reflex from growing up with four other brothers.

I once had a rather creepy CW that liked to stand very close behind any female CW that he could, we were all getting fed up but as he wasn't actually touching any of us... when we wrote it down it seemed such a petty thing, despite how uncomfortable it made us...

So one day he decided to do it to me, and I stepped backwards sharply so that my stiletto heel scraped all the way down his lower shin and instep.

Of course I was very apologetic, but "You startled me!"

[TheySureDo]

I had one of these for a coworker once. Seemed like every other time I was outside on a smoke break he'd show up. Now these breaks are not at specific times - we would go whenever we wanted - and he didn't smoke. He would just show up and start talking to anyone who would listen. Several people had started ignoring him or cutting conversations short because he'd stand so close. Plus he was insanely boring to talk with. One coworker even told him to back off which seemed to puzzle him. And of course he kept right on doing it.

So now he starts wanting to talk to me all of the time. I got pretty fed up with it after a few days just like everyone else. One day we just get outside and buddy says "Oh great, here comes that **** now." I tell him "Watch this - I'm going to make him dance." I wander out into the middle of a large, empty courtyard. He gets right up in my face as usual so I take a step back. He steps forward. I step to the side. He steps to the side. I turn. He - you get the idea. This goes on for a good 5 minutes. We did a rough imitation of a square dance. He was totally oblivious. Would have gotten boring pretty quickly but out of the corner of my eye I'm watching 4 or 5 coworkers cracking up as quietly as they can manage. I finally had enough and walked over to a planter and leaned over it. He seemed a little confused on where to stand at first but stayed back while I finished my smoke. Still talking about how awesome he was at some thing or another of course.

The next time he started it I just told him to get out of my face. He really didn't understand that it was offensive. I had to spend several minutes explaining it to him. Late 20's and he still didn't get it. Turned out that the guy is just all-around socially stunted. So naturally he was made a manager after a few months - not mine thank God - and screwed that up royally. And then nearly got himself fired for hitting on a coworker. Not for the fact that he did it, but for the unbelievably stupid, clumsy, offensive, childish way that he - well, that's for another time.

-TSD

[earl colby pottinger]

Helpless females?

I once had a rather creepy CW that liked to stand very close behind any female CW that he could, .... So one day he decided to do it to me, and I stepped backwards sharply so that my stiletto heel scraped all the way down his lower shin and instep.

Calculate the PSI a stiletto heel can apply, it can punch thru any shoes that are not steel reinforced if you stamp it down. I am sure he does not stand behind you any-more.

[Sparky]

Sounds like he was completely blind without his glasses and was trying to see you. This also explains how he ended up in the kitchen.

That was my first thought as well, but if he was so blind without his glasses, how did he leave them behind. Reading glasses are easy to misplace, but if someone can't see more than a foot or so without glasses, how did he get out the door without them.

That's like driving off without your car keys.

[customersruinmylife]

Sounds like he was completely blind without his glasses and was trying to see you. This also explains how he ended up in the kitchen.

It doesn't unfortunately. He returned this week (complete with glasses), and walked into the kitchen again!

This time it was because he wanted to know where the toilets were. Rather than going to the bar or asking anyone else, he again followed me into the kitchen. I was not aware he had followed until he yelled "EXCUUUUUUUSSSEE MEE" in my ear.

I told him if he ever went in the kitchen again, he was banned from the pub.