Was i wrong?

[Crow The Robot]

Okay, yesterday, i was called for a carry-out, and it was a large entertainment center. I went with the woman to her car, which turned out to be a Hyundai(sp?) Elantra, She asked if the box would fit in the trunk I said i diddn't think so, she asked if we should take it out of the box, i said i wouldn't advise it, as the stuff can get damaged, and parts can get lost. So I try and put it in my back seat, and the customer, stood over by her cart and smoked, I asked for help and she gave me a dirty look and said, "you're paid to do this, idiot" So i tried to fit it into her back seat while she talked on the cell and continuaing to smoke and yell at her toddler. I ask her to move up the driver's seat and she glares at me again and says, "I am pregnant don't you care?" After I got it in she hated the way it was set up, so i had get it out, by myself, and try and squeeze it into the front seat. It didn't fit there either so, she said. "If you had listened to me, I would've been home by now. Get me someone who knows what the h-ll they are doing, you insensitive little b-stard. Youi should be fired, and i were your boss I'd fire you for trying to make a pregnant woman put her car seat up. I have kids and no woman will ever be with you loser." I went back in and told them to , that took a while and later management got a call that said I made her do the work, and she was pregnant and such.I had talked to management immediatlt afyer it happened and given them my side so they ddin't reprimandme or anything. Afterword, I felt guilty. I don't know why, and on my break i just stated to cry, and i felt like I was a horrid person and all. Some of my friends, calmed me down,<I was crying so heard i was shaking> and said I was okay, i didn't act unprofessionaly and all. Was I wong to ask for help?

[Arachne]

Always remember the immortal (paraphrased) words of Winston Churchill:

SC: If I were your boss, I'd fire you!

You: Ma'am, if you were my boss, I would quit.

More seriously, I completely sympathize. I really hate it when nasty people with attitudes come in, who think that just because they're the customer, they have the right to insult and belittle me all they like. One thing my father always tells me when I complain about this to him is to remember that it's not about you. She's not insulting you -- she's not even really aware of you or seeing you. She's completely in her own world, and everything she's saying has much more to do with what's going on with her than it has to do with you. It sometimes helps to think of it that way and to distance yourself emotionally from the abusive person by imagining that they're not saying any of the horrible things they're saying to you, but rather they're just spewing their filth into the air. (Because usually, that's what they're doing. If you look at it this way, you'll be stunned by how generic a lot of the abusive comments people make are, to the point where they're sometimes even inappropriate for the situation at hand.)

And if that isn't enough, just think for a moment all the damage she's doing to her children, smoking around them (and smoking while pregnant!) like that. My father smoked around me a lot when I was growing up, and as a result, to this day I have terrible allergies and I'm extremely allergic to smoke of any kind. (I was very sick quite often as a child, as well.) So if you can't pity her, there's lots of room to hate her for endangering the health of her children.

[rdp78]

I don't think you were, I mean she was being a bit#h and her lack of planning is not your fault (I mean what in the hell did she expect you to do with something that was too big to fit in a small car). Also it seem like she didn't care about her pregnancy if she was smoking (there is a possiblity of a birth defect) and she was also calling you nasty names which isn't something you want to call people who are trying to help you. Anyway I really feel sorry for the guy(s) who have gotten this woman pregnant and her children too (I bet she calls them nasty names as well as demanding the impossible).

[RentalRacer]

Just another proof of the SC-ism:

"If they buy something huge, they will expect you to fit it into their compact car".

You get paid to perform a service for customers, you don't get paid to be abused, belittled, and mistreated. Next time a customer treats you this way, excuse yourself and get a Manager. If they have issues with you calling them into the situation, then its a sign that you don't want to work there.

But at the very least from your post it seems you have a decent team of Managers there.

[Becks]

I don't think you were wrong at all.

:comforting pats: there, there™®

[Anakah]

No, she was being a really SC. She shouldn't have got something large and heavy if she is pregnant and all by herself! How is she going to get it out of the car? And why bring a little car?

What can you wave a magic wand and make it fit into her car!? And if you can't its your fault and you were rude? No. I think you did fine. Don't let it bother you.

[Seshat]

Pregnancy is not a disability. It can cause disability, sure, but by itself, pregnancy is not a disability.*

She was expecting you to do three rude things:
1. Assume she was pregnant.
2. Assume she was disabled (by the pregnancy).
3. Assume she needed you to do things for her.

She put you in not one, but THREE no-win situations. Based on a lot of conversations here, and personal experience, the majority of people don't want you to assume they're pregnant. And if they are, they don't want you to assume they're disabled by it. And most disabled people prefer to do what they can for themselves.
I think you did fine.


* Okay, sometimes a pregnancy can be extremely fragile. In general, pregnancy is not a disability.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I climbed up five flights of stairs at least three times a day, EVERY day, up to and including the day I gave birth. I gardened. I helped put in two floors in my home. I did light construction work around the house getting ready for my daughter's arrival.
AND, I was in my forties.

But then, I don't freaking smoke, especially while I was carrying my precious baby. And I was not trying to use my condition as an excuse to get treated like I was disabled.

That woman deserves to have her ass kicked.

I was at Pennsic one year and there was a chick in our camp who was pregnant, who apparently didn't see the need to stop DRINKING AND SMOKING just because she was knocked up. All week, the guys in camp were going "Uh, don't you think you ought to not be doing that?" and she's just snap "Mind your own business." Her husband was far to much of a py to call her in line, so we had to endure watching this uncomfortable spectacle all freaking week.

Day we were leaving, I'm packing up the car and this dumb cow was hanging around me while I worked in humid August heat, blowing smoke on me and running her mouth.

Two things you should know about this situation:
1. I wanted children and knew I couldn't have them (yeah, my daugter was a suprise! I mean, I certainly didn't resent parents and pregnant people, but dont' rub my nose in it by abusing your body and your unborn child in front of me, you know?)
2. I also knew this stupid bitch had MISCARRIED the previous year. Yes. You read that right.

It took every ounce of self-restraint I had in my body and mind not to walk over there, take the cig out of her mouth, and put it out in her fucking eye.

Instead, I told her, in very clipped, dangerous tones, she needed to take her cigarette smoke and mindless nattering somewhere out of earshot and where I couldn't smell it. She didnt' care much for that. Got all pissy and angry. You know what? Fuck her.

Sorry for the long tangent. Can you tell this really got next to me? Anyways, hell no, you weren't wrong.

[0oAmericanGirl]

"If you had listened to me, I would've been home by now.

Reply: Well lady, if you didn't drive a cheap pos clown car we wouldn't be having this conversation..

She sounds sooo trashy. I hate that people think that pregnancy is a disability. I once asked a pregnant patient if she was employed and she snapped back "I'm pregnant, I can't work". I understand that pregnancy limits your activity but how flippin hard would it have been for her to let the seat up for you??

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Really? Pregnant and can't work? Awww, that's tho thad.

I worked a full day the day I went into labor. (Went home and started making a pot of chili. My evening plans were to put up window treatments in the nursery after supper.) Granted, I don't have a hard job, but I had two co-workers at public television who worked through their pregnancys, and at that job, we put up sets and unloaded trucks. One woman went into labor while building a set ("Um, you know what? I THINK I might be in labor. Hmmm. Yeah, I think that was a contraction. Ya'll might have to finish this without me. I think I have to go." ).

[wildcatgrrl]

Yup, I worked all the way through my first pregnancy, to the week before I delivered. I probably could have gone up til the week I delivered, if we hadn't been in the middle of moving into the new house we bought 6 days before I had my daughter. Talk about timing!

With this pregnancy, I ended up having to quit in December (I'm due in early June), because the fatigue was such that I literally couldn't even shower without being wiped OUT. I still get winded fairly easily, but everything is going well, I'm just super tired. Probably because I'm also chasing a 13-month old around. No big deal, I was planning to quit to be a SAHM after my son is born, anyway.

Even with the fatigue and inability to do a lot of stuff I'm used to doing, I would never EVER act the way this woman (I typed "lady", but that's wrong) did. I have never in either of my pregnancies encountered anyone in a store who was anything but very helpful and polite if I needed any help at all.

[blas]

I'm assuming the woman in the story doesn't work either.....that lovely piece of merchandise she purchased was most likely thanks to your tax dollars.

Why do so many nasty people who abuse the gift of parenthood and pregnancy reproduce so easily, while people who truly deserve a blessing like a baby have no luck? That boggles my mind.

[ArenaBoy]

Hmmm, while Crow was being yelled at by a pregnant woman I had a situation like that last night. A car pulled up and tried to bribe me into letting them in. I give them the spiel, ask for a pass only to be yelled at by the driver that he has a pregnant woman in the car. Now I did not even know because it's kind of hard to tell what someone looks like when they're in a car. As for that, I've often been yelled at for not reserving spots for pregnant people, when hilariously enough you can do a drop-off and park and when my mother who worked the suite even when she was pregnant with my sister at the time.

[georgiab]

I get this type of attitude all the time where I work and I am a 91pd woman at the age of 28! Sometimes people just get that entitlement attitude! Yesterday my co-worker who is in her 50's had a woman insist she carry her really old microwave out to her car (this is a thrift store and this microwave was one of those that was first mad so it's huge) when she suggested that the manager a man could help her the woman said NO YOU CAN DO IT...my co-worker flat out told her she would not do it.....That woman could have helped you and I HATE HATE HATE when they want to put something so big in a small car and say DO YOU THINK IT WILL FIT....UH NO...But anyway you did good and if she is so worried about being pregnant then put that cigerette down along with the cell phone...You did fine and you should NOT feel guilty...but since I know how it feels I let stuff like that bother me to...

[MystyGlyttyr]

My sister-in-law and I were disassembling couches and shoving cars around while she was seven or eight months along...and my nephew is a monstrosity of a toddler who's already WAY ahead of development. My mom went to work up till her due date, and from the pictures I've seen of her when she was pregnant with me, I can't figure out how she got into a car. I was 10 pounds, six ounces when I was born, so she was REALLY huge.

Of course, what's really funny about it is that she accidently took Vicodin during her early months with me, and it's supposed to cause low birth weight. So she says she's thrilled that she took it now because God knows how big I'd have been otherwise!