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  • #1

    TMI Please and Thanks

    Today was my very last day in hell and, wouldn't you know it, all the customers went and behaved themselves!!! Dammit! I wanted to do one "bad" thing before I left so I chose the horny drunk guys.

    CW: What can I get for you?
    DG: I want xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.
    CW: Is that it?
    DG: Oh, nononono my good man! I gotta order somethin fo' the ladiezzzz!
    CW: Oh, ok go ahead.
    DG: I'm lookin to get fucked tonight!!!
    Girls: TEEHEEHEEHEE!! Gigglegigglehahaha!
    Me: Did he just say what I think he said?
    CW: Yup....
    DG: My lady friend wants a standard sam-wich!
    CW: Standard?
    DG: That's right.
    CW: What is standard?
    DG: Oh, y'know. Standard.
    CW: I don't know what that is.
    DG: *siiiiiiiggghhhhhh* The o-rig-i-nal...chick-en...flat-bread.
    CW: Oh ok.

    It turns out, this guy was so wasted he was drooling on himself. I used the grease pencil to write "Standard" on the flatbread and "Good luck with da ladies!!!" on his quesadilla. Everyone got a kick out of that.

    Me: Hey M, is this appropriate?
    M: ..... *coughcough*....I didn't see nothin.

    Oh, there was one lady who kiiinnnnda misbehaved.

    Me: I have an order for Daniel?
    SC: Is that mine? *snotty*
    Me: I dunno. Are you Daniel?
    SC: Do I LOOK like a Daniel?? *motions to boobs and yanks on long hair*
    Me: Not at all.
    SC: Then why did you ask?!
    Me: You were the one who asked if this was yours after I said "order for Daniel". I thought Daniel may be your husbands name.
    SC: I'm NOT married.

    Yeah I wonder why....

    Me: Ok then. Daniel?
    Daniel: That's me, thanks.
    SC: Where's MYYYYYY order?
    Me: What was your order?
    SC: Go look on your little screen and tell me!
    Me: I have no clue who you are or what you ordered.
    SC: I was 2 orders BEFORE Daniel!
    Me: *yeah right* Oh, so you are Scott?
    SC: No! My name is Evonne!
    Me: *looks at my little screen* Well, Evonne, your order is next.
    SC: Youuuuuuu! Skipped. Meeeee!!
    Me: Actually, we make orders in the order they are placed, so "skipping" you is impossible.
    SC: You people are so stupid you skip my order allll the time!
    Me: *walks away*
    SC: Excuuuuussse meeeee!!!
    Me: Here's your order. Bye now. *walks away
    Answers: $1
    Correct Answers: $2
    Answers that require thought: $5
    Dumb looks are still free.
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Bwahahaha! What a way to end your employment in hell!
    "Imagine that. Human souls, trapped like flies in the World Wide Web, stuck forever, crying out for help."-The Doctor
    "Isn't that basically Twitter?"-Clara

    Comment

    • #3
      Nice! I think everyone's last day is that way- you've spent your whole time working there dreaming about what horrible thing you'll do on your last day, then you don't get to really do anything. Ah well.

      Comment

      • #4
        Quoth Kisa View Post
        SC: Excuuuuussse meeeee!!!
        ...Does your name tag happene to say "Zelda" on it...?
        "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
        "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
        "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
        "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
        "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
        "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
        Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
        "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

        Comment

        • #5
          Quoth EricKei View Post
          ...Does your name tag happene to say "Zelda" on it...?
          And can she wait to bomb some Dodongos?

          Comment

          • #6
            Quoth EricKei View Post
            ...Does your name tag happene to say "Zelda" on it...?
            And for your viewing pleasure, here's a montage. WARNING: Annoying.

            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FPxY8lpYAUM
            To right the countless wrongs of our days... We shine this light of true redemption, that this place may become as paradise...Oh, what a wonderful world such would be...

            Comment

            • #7
              Kisa, you are leaving? This is no good!! You must ask for your job back, immediately.
              Us entertained posters on this board demand it.

              Otherwise, how will we have your fantastic stories of customer suckiness and general great reading we have been accustomed to?
              If you actually have a decent job with decent customers, it would be terrible. For us.

              Just kidding, hope you never have another SC in your entire career.
              There is another organism on this planet that follows the same pattern. Do you know what it is? A virus. Human beings are a disease, a cancer of this planet.

              Comment

              • #8
                Quoth Nemesis44UK View Post
                Kisa, you are leaving? This is no good!! You must ask for your job back, immediately.
                Us entertained posters on this board demand it.
                Shhh...We're having enough trouble keeping Gravekeeper where he is, we can't afford another one just yet...We had to build and populate an entire town for that...>_> Do you have any idea how hard it is to find people with IQ's that low who are still capable of using telephones? o_O
                "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
                "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
                "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
                "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
                "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
                "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
                Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
                "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

                Comment

                • #9
                  Quoth patiokitty View Post
                  Meh, I got *fired* on my last day about two hours before the end of my shift when I worked at a call center. Why? Because I didn't kiss a regular caller's ass when I told him why he wasn't going to get the free on-site service he figured he deserved. The big boss was worried that I'd only get more blunt and start giving out 'client secrets' or some such bullshit. Oh well, my immediate supervisor still paid me until the end of my scheduled shift but took me off the phones so that I could go around to say goodbye to the various people I knew from other contracts in the building. It's not like I needed to pack up my desk because I'd already got that done earlier and the week so most of my stuff was already at home. I had given my notice two weeks previous because I was moving out of the province so it's not like I had anything to lose!
                  ... now that's one story that would be great to read in more details ...

                  Comment

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