Preparing for Unlikely Occurrences & More

[Phone Jockey]

Customer: What happens if a storm comes inside my house & blows up my TV?

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Customer: I had some friends stop by last week & they took off with my remote! So…how do I turn the channels now?

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Customer: Let’s get this going! I need to hurry…you’re really taking your time, missy.
Me: OK, let’s get you scheduled, sir.
Customer: Whoa, whoa, you’re getting ahead of yourself there, little lady! Slow down!

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Customer: I can’t deal with my daughter if the TV ain’t on.

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Customer: I ordered a movie last night…could you tell me if that’s all I did? I was sleepy.

[ominousoat]

Customer: I ordered a movie last night…could you tell me if that’s all I did? I was sleepy.

"Hmm...records indicate that you changed your name to "Alice", married a showgirl in Vegas, killed a man in Reno...took his wallet, ordered two more PPVs, and joined Scientology...anything else I can help you with?

[Phone Jockey]

"Hmm...records indicate that you changed your name to "Alice", married a showgirl in Vegas, killed a man in Reno...took his wallet, ordered two more PPVs, and joined Scientology...anything else I can help you with?

HAHAHAHA! Since she was a female customer, I should have definitely said the part about marrying a showgirl!

I figured maybe I could have told her that she 'slept with' the wrong man & that he had crabs, but yours is better.

[Imogene]

Customer: What happens if a storm comes inside my house & blows up my TV?

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Customer: I had some friends stop by last week & they took off with my remote! So…how do I turn the channels now?

First one: Get pictures, send to your insurance.
Blush when the insurance company laughs in your face and points out the 'acts of god' clause.

Second: You got fingers, yes?

[HawaiianShirts]

Customer: I had some friends stop by last week & they took off with my remote! So…how do I turn the channels now?

Step one: Get new friends who don't steal your stuff.

Step two: Think about the channel you want. If the TV doesn't immediately change for you, yell at it for a while, swear at it, call it names, tell it to stop being ridiculous, demand to speak to its manager, threaten it with lawsuits, and declare that you'll have its job. That's what you usually do to get your way, isn't it?

[powerboy]

Step two: Think about the channel you want. If the TV doesn't immediately change for you, yell at it for a while, swear at it, call it names, tell it to stop being ridiculous, demand to speak to its manager, threaten it with lawsuits, and declare that you'll have its job. That's what you usually do to get your way, isn't it?

Good one

[AFpheonix]

Step one: Get new friends who don't steal your stuff.

Step two: Think about the channel you want. If the TV doesn't immediately change for you, yell at it for a while, swear at it, call it names, tell it to stop being ridiculous, demand to speak to its manager, threaten it with lawsuits, and declare that you'll have its job. That's what you usually do to get your way, isn't it?

You must learn the ways of the Force.

[blas]

I've found my cable to be the Empire of cable tv........

I love Dan Akroyd's "the dish is a disease!" slogan.............I always want to tell my friends to join the dark side and get their cable back.

Sorry, can't resist starting a Star War's quirp chain......and a Dan Akroyd moment....lol.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Customer: What happens if a storm comes inside my house & blows up my TV?

Make sure to keep your doors and windows locked. It really helps to keep out intruders.

[Becks]

Customer: I can’t deal with my daughter if the TV ain’t on.

That's just too sad for words. Poor child.

[ToasterQueen]

HAHAHAHA! Since she was a female customer, I should have definitely said the part about marrying a showgirl!

I figured maybe I could have told her that she 'slept with' the wrong man & that he had crabs, but yours is better.

Diamonds are pretty, but herpes is forever.

Anyway.

If someone berated me for going too fast the moment after going too slow, I think I would alternate my speech patterns sentence to sentence.

"Let'sgetyousigneduponcredittermscanIhaveyourcompa nyaccountplease?"

"....Please.....tell.....me......your.......billin g..............address....."