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UUUUuuuuuuuuuuuuuuughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
Well, Apparently some more people think that just because the chain stores say that they have black friday sales that we should too.
Today's experiment in testing the limit of my patience had to deal with one man.
One massively clothed sweat stained unshaven hobo of a man who smelled like microwaved skunk crap and was radiating so much heat he could work part-time as a space heater.
Thank god my co-worker was on break or she would have puked.
Anyway, so this guy walks up to the booth and plonks down some mags, mostly autotrader and men's health. (HA!) They were soaked with sweat, presumably because he was holding them to his chest as he was fumbling around in his sweatpants (I kid you not) for his leather (Ugh) wallet. I begin scanning them, trying not to touch the glued-together pages (Double ugh) and get his final total.
Now, the look on his face is difficult to describe. Imagine a walrus, (Or Jamie Hyneman from the mythbusters) who just discovered that he had to pass a watermelon sized kidneystone in two minutes. As I announced the total, his cheeks blew out and his eyes went wide, presumably from the built up pressure.
Walrus: "Nuh uh! That's not the price!"
Me: "Um, the machine says it's that price. $87.99, sir."
Walrus: "Nuh uh! It's black friday! Those are on sale!"
I'm sure by now the metallic veneer on the scratchtickets the man was breathing on were seperating, but nonplussed, and starting to get dizzy from the smell, I continue.
Me: "If there were a sale, the machine would register such. Besides, we don't celebrate black friday here. It's Canada."
Walrus: "Nuh uh! You do have black friday! There are signs all over the mall!"
And yet, despite the truth that canadians don't have black friday, there were black friday signs up. See, global chains, or stores that are american based like Zellers or EB Games put the signs up because it's policy. Heck, when I came in to work my boss mentioned that the black friday signs may confuse a few people.
Regardless, I wasn't about to hand over a markdown to this guy, so I begin anew.
Me: "Look, If you notice, many of the black friday signs are up for the big chains and companies. We are neither. I don't know how else to say it, but we don't have a black friday sale here. They may, and I doubt they actually have any sales, but we don't.
Oh god, hail of slobber and sweat. He decides to shake his head.
Walrus: "Nuh uh! If you don't have sales on black friday then that is false advertising! You will mark these down or I will complain to your boss!"
Now thoroughly irritated, wheezy from the stench and disgusted with every dry and sterile fiber of my being I pull the innocent sales clerk trick.
Me: Even if for some unholy reason we did have black Friday here, I can't ring in a sale on this machine without managerial clearance.
Walrus: Well, who is your manager?
Me: She's gone for the night. I've been left in charge.
Oops. Shouldn't have said that.
Walrus: "Well, if you are in charge, you can give me a-"
Me: "Look, For the last time the MACHINE needs a manager's ID and I don't have that."
And now I've angered the Walrus. He slams his greasy hand on the counter and asthmatically shouts at me.
Walrus: "Give me the black friday discount NOW!"
So, to recap, i've been taunted, flaunted, annoyed and Nuh uhed to the point of irrationality by this unforseen birth control failure, left alone with some unhelpful customers who are either laughing or glaring angrily at me, forced to take the stench of a thousand unwashed gymnasts in a mall that doesn't yet know how the AC switch works.
And to top it off, the computer freezes.
Well, lets say fortunately for me the computer freezes. The till runs off an old copy of windows xp: Probably still service pack 1 with no updates. it freezes, the man loses his transaction, and my heart sinks so low it feels like my colon lept into my chest and dragged my heart down into it's soggy depths, kicking and screaming.
I inform the man that the computer crashed and that i'd have to wait a good 10 minutes for it to start up again before I can ring everything in again. I waited for his scream of gooey anguish, but it never came.
He pushes the mags towards me, wanders off cursing and is never seen again.
I missed the bullet by -that- much. I felt sooooo relieved.
Thank the gods of this world for hand sanitizer, ammonia and paper towel. I spent the next 5 minutes disinfecting everything, and thankfully the customers in line understood and were even grateful. I never told my co-worker because If I did she probably wouldn't touch the counter or the computer again. Poor girl.
So, that was my work day today. One man left an impression on me that i shall never forget.
*Shiver*
Oh, and the mags were thrown out as returns. Nobody wanted to touch them.
Well, Apparently some more people think that just because the chain stores say that they have black friday sales that we should too.
Today's experiment in testing the limit of my patience had to deal with one man.
One massively clothed sweat stained unshaven hobo of a man who smelled like microwaved skunk crap and was radiating so much heat he could work part-time as a space heater.
Thank god my co-worker was on break or she would have puked.
Anyway, so this guy walks up to the booth and plonks down some mags, mostly autotrader and men's health. (HA!) They were soaked with sweat, presumably because he was holding them to his chest as he was fumbling around in his sweatpants (I kid you not) for his leather (Ugh) wallet. I begin scanning them, trying not to touch the glued-together pages (Double ugh) and get his final total.
Now, the look on his face is difficult to describe. Imagine a walrus, (Or Jamie Hyneman from the mythbusters) who just discovered that he had to pass a watermelon sized kidneystone in two minutes. As I announced the total, his cheeks blew out and his eyes went wide, presumably from the built up pressure.
Walrus: "Nuh uh! That's not the price!"
Me: "Um, the machine says it's that price. $87.99, sir."
Walrus: "Nuh uh! It's black friday! Those are on sale!"
I'm sure by now the metallic veneer on the scratchtickets the man was breathing on were seperating, but nonplussed, and starting to get dizzy from the smell, I continue.
Me: "If there were a sale, the machine would register such. Besides, we don't celebrate black friday here. It's Canada."
Walrus: "Nuh uh! You do have black friday! There are signs all over the mall!"
And yet, despite the truth that canadians don't have black friday, there were black friday signs up. See, global chains, or stores that are american based like Zellers or EB Games put the signs up because it's policy. Heck, when I came in to work my boss mentioned that the black friday signs may confuse a few people.
Regardless, I wasn't about to hand over a markdown to this guy, so I begin anew.
Me: "Look, If you notice, many of the black friday signs are up for the big chains and companies. We are neither. I don't know how else to say it, but we don't have a black friday sale here. They may, and I doubt they actually have any sales, but we don't.
Oh god, hail of slobber and sweat. He decides to shake his head.
Walrus: "Nuh uh! If you don't have sales on black friday then that is false advertising! You will mark these down or I will complain to your boss!"
Now thoroughly irritated, wheezy from the stench and disgusted with every dry and sterile fiber of my being I pull the innocent sales clerk trick.
Me: Even if for some unholy reason we did have black Friday here, I can't ring in a sale on this machine without managerial clearance.
Walrus: Well, who is your manager?
Me: She's gone for the night. I've been left in charge.
Oops. Shouldn't have said that.
Walrus: "Well, if you are in charge, you can give me a-"
Me: "Look, For the last time the MACHINE needs a manager's ID and I don't have that."
And now I've angered the Walrus. He slams his greasy hand on the counter and asthmatically shouts at me.
Walrus: "Give me the black friday discount NOW!"
So, to recap, i've been taunted, flaunted, annoyed and Nuh uhed to the point of irrationality by this unforseen birth control failure, left alone with some unhelpful customers who are either laughing or glaring angrily at me, forced to take the stench of a thousand unwashed gymnasts in a mall that doesn't yet know how the AC switch works.
And to top it off, the computer freezes.
Well, lets say fortunately for me the computer freezes. The till runs off an old copy of windows xp: Probably still service pack 1 with no updates. it freezes, the man loses his transaction, and my heart sinks so low it feels like my colon lept into my chest and dragged my heart down into it's soggy depths, kicking and screaming.
I inform the man that the computer crashed and that i'd have to wait a good 10 minutes for it to start up again before I can ring everything in again. I waited for his scream of gooey anguish, but it never came.
He pushes the mags towards me, wanders off cursing and is never seen again.
I missed the bullet by -that- much. I felt sooooo relieved.
Thank the gods of this world for hand sanitizer, ammonia and paper towel. I spent the next 5 minutes disinfecting everything, and thankfully the customers in line understood and were even grateful. I never told my co-worker because If I did she probably wouldn't touch the counter or the computer again. Poor girl.
So, that was my work day today. One man left an impression on me that i shall never forget.
*Shiver*
Oh, and the mags were thrown out as returns. Nobody wanted to touch them.
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