We do NOT give change mini stories!

[ackmeow]

The mall is getting busy. I hate Christmas hours...

Here's a couple of change-related stories that came up, two of them happened yesterday!

Customer stereotype No. 1: the blank stare:

Me:And your total is 18.42. Would you like a bag?
SC: Uuuuh, No. (Looks at change I gave him.) Um, How much is the bus?
Me: About $3 (How did he get here not knowing that?)
SC: I don't have enough... Um, Can I get some change off you? (Hands me a $20)
Me: We don't make change.
SC: Why not?
Me: It's too busy. We need it.
SC: I bought something didn't I?
Me: Yeesss?
SC: ...
Me:...
Sc:... So, Like, can I get change?
Me: No.
SC: Why not?
Me: I just said.
SC:...
Me:...
SC:... *Walks away.*

I can almost smell the crossed wires burning.

Customer stereotype No. 2: The irritated mother:

SC: Hey, Can I get change for the ride downstairs?
Me: Sorry, Ma'am. The mall is too busy to give out change.
SC: I just need a quarter.
Me: But if I give you that quarter, I have to break that bill into toonies and loonies. I can't afford that.
SC: ITS ONE FREAKING QUARTER!
ME:0_0 Ma'am, calm dow-
SC: Don't you tell me to calm down! I'm asking you for a small favor and you refuse me outright!
ME: *Calls security*

She gave them a hard time, but left without any problems. Witch.

Customer stereotype No. 3: the drunk:

This man is drunk. Really really drunk. He could peel linoleum with his breath. Security hadn't noticed him yet but as soon as I saw the stagger I called them in. In the meantime...

SC: Hey, man. Pack of smokes.
Me: Um, are you sure you're supposed to be standing up?
SC: It's cool, man. I just need some smokes and some change for the bus.
Me: Um, I'm going to have to refuse.
SC: Duh? Why?
Me: Because you are drunk. You should be sleeping.
SC: What, I'm not drunk!
Me: You are drunk. Drunk enough to mistake a tree for a girl and can't stand up without looking like you're playing twister on a swerving bus. If you get hit by said bus, I'm liable. Sorry, but I can't. Would you like me to call a taxi?
SC: Look, Can I just get some change? I'm not really supposed to be here and I wanna out before security sees me.
Me: Um...
Sc: I'll introduce you to this really tight hooker I met at the party if you change me a 5. She is *Insert sexual stuff here.*
Me (getting creeped out) Um, Thanks but no.

Thank goodness security turfed the guy and banned him for a while. Bleh.

Customer stereotype No. 4: the turd in the gene pool.:

SC: Hey, can you break a 5? I need to catch the bus.
Me: Sorry Ma'am, I can't. it's too busy in the mall.
SC: But there's no line behind me.
Me: I meant the mall is too busy today to give out change.
SC: But there's no line behind me. What about this do you not get?
Me: (Inwardly groaning and trying to find a way to explain this) Ma'am, I need to keep my change for the rest of the day. If I run out, then I'm stuck.
SC: Well, that's not my problem, is it? If you can't manage your change then you shouldn't be working this job.
Me: (Seeing the irony AND getting irritated.) Couldn't you have planned to have change for the bus?
SC: What? No! I can't plan that far ahead! What if I need to buy something?
Me: Well, I'm sorry but I can't make change today.
SC: Yes you can! You do it every time someone buys something!
Me: (Inwardly ) Look, If you want some change, go somewhere else. I can't make it. The bank is still open. Go there.
SC: Oh, there's a bank here?
Me: (Peering at the sign that says in BIG BLUE LETTERS BANK OF MONTREAL Right behind her) Yes.
SC: Could you direct me there?
Me: Points to aforementioned sign.
SC: Thank you!



I fear for the human race.

Customer stereotype No. 5: the big winner:

SC:Hey, can I have change for the phone?
Me: Sorry, but (Blah blah blah No change blah.)
SC:But I need to make a call!
Me: Is it a local call?
SC: no.
Me: Well, if it's a local call I can lend you a quarter.
SC: I need to call *Country on other side of world*
Me: Oh. Um, we sell phone cards. Would you like one of those?
SC: What? Why would I want one of them? I just want to call my folks to tell them I won $5 on a scratch!

The phone call would have gone through that winning money like coffee paper.

[Engmfj]

Drunk enough to mistake a tree for a girl and can't stand up without looking like you're playing twister on a swerving bus. If you get hit by said bus, I'm liable. Sorry, but I can't. Would you like me to call a taxi?

Oh dear, I wish I hadn't been drinking coffee when I read that - my poor laptop

[BrenDAnn]

Explain number three to me. I could see how you'd be liable if he were asking you to sell him more alcohol, but smokes? I see the suck, and I know why you kicked him out, but that part is escaping me, that's all. Hey, be glad he was going to catch a bus instead of trying to drive in that condition, too! Wow!

[ackmeow]

If he gets on the bus and gets off at a random stop, then gets shmucked by a car cause he's too drunk to know a busy street from *Insert drunken delusion here* we're responsible because we let him get on the bus/gave him the change to. It's not about the cigs, it's if he bought them he would have bus fare.

It's the same as letting a drunk guy drive home after a party.

[Engmfj]

That sounds a bit far out. So I guess if he hadn't mentioned the bus and just bought his smokes, you'd have had no problem at all?

[ackmeow]

That sounds a bit far out. So I guess if he hadn't mentioned the bus and just bought his smokes, you'd have had no problem at all?

Nope. We'd keep them there and hand them off to security when they arrive. If someone's drunk, security. No questions.

[PepperElf]

Me: (Seeing the irony AND getting irritated.) Couldn't you have planned to have change for the bus?

too bad she seemed too dense to notice that you turned her words against her there...

[Pixilated]

What a lovely collection of specimens.

Especially the last two: she can't plan far enough ahead to have money for the bus (but you are supposed to ration your change for the rest of the day in order to give her change) ... and somebody wants to spend $50 to tell his family he won $5 on a scratch card ...

[dendawg]

About the not having enough money for the bus: the vast majority of buses today take dollar bills (and in some cases, $5 bills), so unless they live paperless, there's really no excuse for not having the fare, IMHO.

[NateTheChops]

The busses down here give out cards that you can load cash onto. Much easier and you save a quarter if you use them.

[ackmeow]

Our busses have that too but people are either too lazy/stupid/ignorant/all of the above to use them. In all my time riding the bus to get to work I've seen less than 5 people use that new system.

It's depressing.

[Athaelia]

#2: I got a quarter for you, sure! For safekeeping, perhaps you can stick it where the sun don't shine.

#4: Lack of planning on YOUR part does NOT constitute an emergency on mine. (Bonus that she's a hypocrite)

#5: ...... better off just buying more lottery tix....


Seriously, what part of NO CHANGE don't these people get? Oh yeah, they're SC's; the rules don't apply to them.

[RealUnimportant]

I sympathise. My default answer any time someone asks for change here is "the nearest bank is at the top of the road, about 100 yards/meters away." 9 times out of 10 they're asking for change because they want to buy a wrongly discounted ticket from our vending machine, so me offering to sell them their ticket is met with derision and/or mumbles of "but I want to get it outside"... If they've just made a purchase & want their change a certain way, and it happens that I've got the spare coins, then maybe I'll accomodate it based on how well they behaved

I don't get why they can't understand that if we give them our change, we can't then give it to someone who needs change later for a legitimate purchase. If we couldn't make change for their purchase, they'd be justifiably pissed off - as is evident every time some halfwit comes up right after I open to make a £3 purchase with a £50 note & I tell them they're SOL.

[Food Lady]

My standard answer to "why not? eleventy!" is "because AP says I can't, and I'm on camera. It's true and gets the point across, mostly.

[BeenThereDoneThat]

At the same time as I'm laughing my ass off at these stories, another little part of my soul dies from the sad reality that people like this exist...
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