Yes "smurfsandponies.com" dropped the ball..

[Mytical]

but they were still SC's. Disclaimers : smurfsandponies.com does not exist (or that I know of) it is a case of (CMA) because I can get the boot if it is figured out who I actually work for. Also, some small non essential details will be changed to protect the not so innocent. The items also don't exist or by all that is good I hope not at least./disclaimers.

Background : Work at home, taking calls. Smursandponies had the black friday/cyber monday bit..and between technical glitches, not posting 'all sales are first come, first serve (though this is understood..except by the customers)', and lack of support for us..it has been not a fun time. /background

Join me now as we go on a safari of a couple of very common SC's. Up first we have the "Always right adon" Known to be very territorial, and woe to any that cross it's path Please note that anything inclosed in <> is what I think or do, not say.


M - Me
SC - Guess

M - Welcome to Smurfsandponies.com my name is Mytical, how can I help you today?
SC - Yes I am calling because I got an email saying that Smurfs smackdown 2011 is out of stock.and I was wanting to see if it is in a nearby smurfsandponies store.
M - I can look at that for you. <gets info> I am sorry, it is all sold out..looks like that was a popular one!
SC - That's not acceptable, when I placed the order I was told it was available.
M - Yes Ma'am I understand that, the site was just unable to keep up with all the orders for that product, and they just ran out of stock.
SC - I need to speak to a supervisor, now. That is ridiculous they shouldn't have sold it to me if they didn't have enough.
M - I can get you a supervisor Ma'm, due to the holidays it will be just a minute.
<while we are on hold, so far she was not especially sucky>
SC - You know with things like this, I am never buying from Smurfsandponies.com again. <ah there it is, the suck is about to come out>. I'm posting on my facebook page, and contacting the media to boycott you. The media is all over my husband due to <stricken for my protection>, and don't think they won't be interested in this! You buttholes (this is not what was said > can't get away with false advertising!
M - <I was told I HAVE to sympathize with the customer> I am sorry you feel that....
SC - OH DO NOT GO THERE, I am not some street person you can placate with that crap. I spend blah blah blah with you, and this is going to be made right.
M - .... <nothing I can say that would not either be insulting or 'placating'
SC - Now the silent treatment? Really? What the hell is taking so long?
M - <its been 3 minutes..you are calling on Cyber Monday..really you want to know what is taking so long?!> It should be only...
SC - NO NOW! Snap, snap. <did you really just say snap snap? Really?>
M - Ma'm they are working as fast as ..
SC - I SAID NOW! Don't give me that! I am the customer, I am ALWAYS right.
<repeat for about 30 minutes where I finally get a supervisor to take her call>

This "Always right adon" has been crossmated by the "Boycott asaurus". making a very unpleasant hybrid of suck.

Wait...what is this..can it be the much dreaded "Know who I am amous?" Why, yes..yes I think it is.

M - Me
SC - THE MAN
NC - Nice actual customer


M - <Spiel>
SC - Yes I am calling to check on my shipment.
M - I can help with that, have to varify some information.
SC - <Completely wrong name>
M - <Well hello there John, did you have a sex change.and change your name from Jane?> I am sorry, I can not give you any information, I need to speak to the person who's name it is in.
SC - Do you know who I am? <No..why ..don't you?> I am THE MAN <wait you are THE MAN? Wow it is such an honor, I have heard about "THE Man" but I thought it was a rumor!> I set up this account, and you will speak to me, it should be noted that you are authorized to speak to me on the account
M - <finds out there is no such note> I am sorry sir, but I can not discuss this case with you.
SC - <to the back ground> Jane, come tell this simpleton he can tell me the details.
NC - Yes my name is Jane .. you can discuss this with him.
M - <not so fast my padawan, some questions answer you must> I need you to verify the info on the account.
NC - <correctly answers the questions>
M - <Winces..dang foiled again..I know that as soon as you put the other person on it is going down hill> Ok thank you for tha...
SC - <Grabbing the phone apparently> Ok, I want you to make a note as big as the sky that I am to be able to discuss this stuff without going through all of this!
<Then why didn't you create it in YOUR name? But ok..I can do that since the account owner said it was ok>
M - Ok I can do tha..
SC - Damn right you can, and you WILL! I am the person with the money, and will be treated as such.
M - <I am impressed, no really I am> Now how may I ..
SC - I need to know when 'Smurf smut 1' will arrive!
M - The estimated time of arrival should be today, though it might be tomorrow with the holidays.
SC - Now was that so hard?
M - <Hey we are doing this to protect YOU from somebody calling in and changing things without your consent, but whatever floats your boat> Is there anything else I can do for you?
SC - Did you make that note.
M - Yes sir, I did.
SC - Because I want it as big as the sky.
M - <I believe you said that> I made the note sir.
SC - The other person said the same, how do I know you did?
M - <Um..I have no answer to that one..> All I can do is assure you I did sir.
SC - As big as the sky? I don't want this happening again.
M - <I put it as big as it will let me, but alas big as the sky is not within my meger powers> I put the note as big as it would let me...
SC - Dang right you will, because I am 'THE MAN', and I need to be able to do this without the song and dance.
M - <again then why not have it in your own name..wouldn't have happened>

*whew* Only two (that I can safely post) but what a TWO

[Kristev]

Oh my. Don't you wish you had a switch to temporarily kill all power where you are? Just for one minute?

[Sapphire Silk]

SC - I need to know when 'Smurf smut 1' will arrive!

AAAAaaahhhhhh!

I actually saw that . . .

[Food Lady]

He's THE MAN? A real man doesn't make a huge deal out of ordering a game (or whatever). If he was really THE MAN, he would have better things to do with his time.

[MoonCat]

I can only say, good lord, what IDIOTS. I hope that one of these days someone is going to give them a graphic demonstration of just how unimportant they actually are.

[starsinthesky]

In my job Capt Jerk Face would have had to hand the phone back to his wife and she would have to request that he be given permissions. Sometimes I relish making it harder for them.

[Nemesis44UK]

Reminds me of an old war story I heard.

A private is driving a jeep. He is flagged down by a superior officer.
"You man, I need this jeep," says the officer.
"Sorry mate, can't give it to you."
"Mate? I'm not your mate, do you know who I am?"
"No sir, do you know who I am?" says the private
The officer is flabberghasted at the cheek of the soldier.
"Well, no I don't"
"Good" says the soldier and he drives off!

[AtDIelement]

I always thought Will Smith was the man...

[Rapscallion]

I actually saw that . . .

The bit that gets me is when they start whistling the theme song...

Rapscallion

[Jay 2K Winger]

Sorry, there's only one guy I'll acknowledge as "The Man."

And that's "The Nature Boy" -- WOOOO Ric (by god) Flair.

("To be The Man, you gotta beat The Man.")

[Caractacus_Potts]

THE MAN was acting like an ass but I can sympathies with his problem and his frustration.

<Then why didn't you create it in YOUR name? But ok..I can do that since the account owner said it was ok>

My wife works from home and uses the internet for work so for tax purposes the account is in her name but she has mild social anxiety and would rather have me handle any calls regarding problems or changes to the account.

M - <I believe you said that> I made the note sir.
SC - The other person said the same, how do I know you did?

Lather, rinse and repeat. Due to some recurring issues when we first signed up I called about five times in one month. Every damn time they said they would add my name and security info to the account and yet every time I called back there would be no record of it. I finally gave up.

M - <Well hello there John, did you have a sex change.and change your name from Jane?>

My response to anyone asking why obviously male voice has obviously female name would have been, “My parents really, really wanted a daughter”. While some reps have paused at “deep male voice” claiming to be “very female name account holder” I’ve never had anyone actually come right out and ask after I supply my wife’s security info.

[protege]

SC - Yes I am calling because I got an email saying that Smurfs smackdown 2011 is out of stock.and I was wanting to see if it is in a nearby smurfsandponies store.
M - I can look at that for you. <gets info> I am sorry, it is all sold out..looks like that was a popular one!
SC - That's not acceptable, when I placed the order I was told it was available.

I can kinda see the guy's point. It would annoy the hell out of me if I'd paid for something...only to find it's not available. Especially if it's a part for the daily-driver...which I need to get to work. But, unlike that guy I'd have kept my rage in check There's no need to act like an asshole when you can't get your pwecious video game. But, I do know that some gamers get a bit carried away when it comes to such things

[Bloodsoul]

I think Brainy said it best: "Mother smurfer."

My response to anyone asking why obviously male voice has obviously female name would have been, “My parents really, really wanted a daughter”.

Life ain't easy for a boy named Sue.

[Mytical]

Caractacus_Potts I can also understand it, believe me, the only problem is..corp policy says 'Can speak to bill to only'. Absolutely nothing we can do unless the bill to gets on at least 1 time to tell us that it is ok to talk to the other person. Had yet another of these today, and they demanded to speak to a sup. We can not transfer to a Sup either if it is not the bill to. So I got to get yelled at. At least if I say "Sir, stop yelling or I will disconnect" a magic number of times..I CAN disconnect. Also, I will let you in on a secret. Now this is hush hush so don't go telling everybody . IF you say 'yes my name is <females name>' and can answer the question..it doesn't matter if your voice is as deep as a deep voice can be. We HAVE to take your word that you are <females name> since you can answer the questions.

You just know that if somebody got on, was not the bill to, and changed something..there would be heck to pay.

[Caractacus_Potts]

"Sir, stop yelling or I will disconnect"

As far as I'm concerned if you have to resort to yelling you have given up on trying to solve your problem and are simply taking out your frustration on a handy target. I was frustrated but I never raised my voice with anyone.

IF you say 'yes my name is <females name>' and can answer the question..it doesn't matter if your voice is as deep as a deep voice can be. We HAVE to take your word that you are <females name> since you can answer the questions.

After many reps not asking me I finally realized this must be the case.