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I’ve had a horrific week, and I was in absolutely no mood for any SC’s. Of course, the customers sensed this and decided to be extra whiny and annoying.
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I walked into the pub at 11:40, due to start at 12:00. It was a little bit busier than I expected, and I decided that once I put my things out the back, I was going to start early to help people out. I immediately changed my mind when I got to the bar and a horrible regular shouted at me.
HR: HEY! YOU! GET ON THIS BAR NOW AND SERVE! I’VE BEEN WAITING AGES!
Me: OK, I’ll come on the bar and serve.
HR: Good!
Me: Once the clock strikes twelve and I start getting paid to tolerate you.
I walked into the back room and stayed there until 12:00 on the dot.
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Another horrible regular came up to the bar. This guy is so annoying. He makes a point of telling me how much he hates our menu, but still continues to order.
HR2: I want to order the chicken burger.
Me: OK.
HR2: But I hate your fries. I don’t want them. I want roast potatoes instead.
Me: Fine.
The order was made and sent out. He went mad.
HR2: What is this? I asked for roast potato!
Me: Those are roast potatoes.
HR2: No! I want a big potato!
Me: So you want a BAKED potato? Not roast potatoes?
HR2: That’s what I asked for!
Me: *sigh* OK, but just so you know, it takes around six minutes to cook a baked potato.
I took it back. Less than two minutes later:
HR2: What’s taking so long?!!?
Me: I told you it would be six minutes. It’s not even a third of the way there yet.
HR2: Every time I come here it’s something else!!
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A guy came up to the bar and ordered a burger. No issues at all. About seven minutes later, his buddy appeared and ordered the exact same meal. By the time his order was processed and put through, the first burger was already on it’s way to their table. The second guy was very upset about this.
SG: How come he got his burger before me??
Me: Because they were ordered several minutes apart.
SG: But we’re sitting at the same table! Surely it makes sense that we would want to eat at the same time!
Me: If they had been ordered at the same time, or even just a minute or two apart, it wouldn’t be a problem. If you want I could take his meal back and put it under the heat lamp until yours is ready.
SG: Yes! I will do that!
He went for his buddy’s meal. All I heard was “I’m not eating a cold meal because you took too long reading the menu! You can wait!” He sat there, looking very unhappy until his meal arrived.
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We were out of a couple of menu items, but we had a delivery due. The delivery was being pulled in while this lady tried to order.
SC: And I would like the fish.
Me: Oh, I’m sorry, we are out of fish. Is there anything else you would like?
SC: Well, I can quite clearly see you are getting a delivery in. Why don’t you check and see if it’s on that.
Me: I will see what I can do, but it may take about an hour before I am able to reach any products.
SC: Well, I don’t plan on being here in an hour so you’d better get to it quick and check now!
I was just about to head out the back and check, when I heard her giggle to her friend:
SC: I love upsetting the help. It will motivate them to get a better job.
WHAT?!?!
Me: You know what, no, we don’t have any fish on the delivery.
SC: You didn’t even check!
Me: I don’t have to. We don’t have any fish.
SC: Go and check!
Me: We DO.NOT have any fish.
SC: Well, I’m not staying here then!
She walked away. I turned to a co-worker.
Me: I love upsetting the customers. It will motivate them to become nicer people.
She turned around and looked at me. It was physically impossible for her jaw to drop any lower.
We did have fish on the delivery.
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A different lady came up to the bar.
DL: Do you have anything festive for sale for this time of year?
Me: We sure do. We have several Christmas themed drinks. What are you after? A hot drink? Alcoholic? Non-alcoholic?
DL: No, I mean food wise.
Me: Oh, I don’t think we have anything like that. But we are having a Christmas bake sale on Sunday.
DL: Well that’s not much good to me right now. Don’t you have any turkey dinners? Or goose? Or Christmas pudding? Mince pies??
Me: I’m afraid we don’t. Like I said, we will have loads of that stuff available on Sunday-
DL: That’s not good enough. You are quite clearly a politically correct, Christmas-hating establishment!
She left.
Did I mention that the place was decorated from top to bottom with decorations, wrapping paper and snow spray? We also had Christmas songs playing and I was wearing a fucking Santa hat!
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I finished work at last. I went into the back room and grabbed my coat. As I walked off the bar, my wallet fell out my pocket and onto the floor. I immediately picked it up, put it back in my pocket and started walking. About five seconds later, I was suddenly alarmed because I noticed an immediate weight difference in my pocket again. My wallet was gone again, so I turned around and retraced the couple of steps I had taken.
No sign of the wallet. I am immediately pissed off, and start looking everywhere. There were several customers around, and I took the time to ask them if they had seen it. Nope. No one had seen anything. In the space of four footsteps, my wallet had vanished, just like that. A few co-workers and I look everywhere. No luck at all. We checked camera footage, but there were too many people around to see anything. Fuck. I call the bank and cancel everything I have. There was only £10 in the wallet, so at least I wasn’t losing much.
I get a phone call this morning from a cleaner at work. She is asking if I had lost my wallet. I immediately breathe a sigh of relief as she tells me she has found it, complete with cards and I.D. No money though, and she found it stuffed down the back of a chair.
A fucking customer stole my wallet. I want to kill the fucker. I’ve taken a lot of crap from customers, but that was too far. That customer better pray I don’t find him/her.
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Here’s a bonus story from the office job. It took place on the same day.
It was the school Christmas fare on Friday. I posted about it last year. Luckily I wasn’t required to work this year and stayed as far away as possible. Apparently during the fare, they had one of those Name the Teddy stores. I found this out in an unfortunate way.
I buzzed a lady into the building.
L: Where’s my bear?!?
Me: I’m…uhhh…what?
L: My bear! The bear I won! Where is it?!?
Me: I’m really sorry, but you need to calm down and start from the beginning because I have no idea what you are talking about.
L: I took part in the Name the Bear competition on Friday, and I won! But I haven’t been given my bear! I want my bear!
Me: OK, can you give me some more details? Did someone call you to tell you that you had won?
L: No! I had to leave here before the winner was announced, but my best friend called me and told me I had won! Now I want my bear!
Me: OK, who was running the stall? Can you tell me?
L: No!
Me: What was the winning name?
L: The name I picked! I’ve already said that!
Me: But what was the name?
L: Scruffy or Scruffles.
Me: Right.
L: Or Spangles or Spanky or something like that.
Me: ….
L: Or Snuffles.
Me: Right, well I can’t do anything about it right now because all the staff involved in the fare have gone home for the day, but I will send an memo to all staff asking for whoever was running the stall to come forward so we can find out what was going on.
L: Could have been Sprinkles….
Me: Is that OK with you? Can you leave me your name so I can get someone to contact you?
L: Fine! But I am really annoyed about this.
Me: I am sorry about that.
L: Now I think of it, the bear could have been called Steven.
She left. Would you like to know what the crazy ladies initials were?
S.C.
I have since discovered that she did not in fact win the bear, and that it went home under the name of Brian.
Last night was the first time I have ever needed a drink on a weeknight in over two years.
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I walked into the pub at 11:40, due to start at 12:00. It was a little bit busier than I expected, and I decided that once I put my things out the back, I was going to start early to help people out. I immediately changed my mind when I got to the bar and a horrible regular shouted at me.
HR: HEY! YOU! GET ON THIS BAR NOW AND SERVE! I’VE BEEN WAITING AGES!
Me: OK, I’ll come on the bar and serve.
HR: Good!
Me: Once the clock strikes twelve and I start getting paid to tolerate you.
I walked into the back room and stayed there until 12:00 on the dot.
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Another horrible regular came up to the bar. This guy is so annoying. He makes a point of telling me how much he hates our menu, but still continues to order.
HR2: I want to order the chicken burger.
Me: OK.
HR2: But I hate your fries. I don’t want them. I want roast potatoes instead.
Me: Fine.
The order was made and sent out. He went mad.
HR2: What is this? I asked for roast potato!
Me: Those are roast potatoes.
HR2: No! I want a big potato!
Me: So you want a BAKED potato? Not roast potatoes?
HR2: That’s what I asked for!
Me: *sigh* OK, but just so you know, it takes around six minutes to cook a baked potato.
I took it back. Less than two minutes later:
HR2: What’s taking so long?!!?
Me: I told you it would be six minutes. It’s not even a third of the way there yet.
HR2: Every time I come here it’s something else!!
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A guy came up to the bar and ordered a burger. No issues at all. About seven minutes later, his buddy appeared and ordered the exact same meal. By the time his order was processed and put through, the first burger was already on it’s way to their table. The second guy was very upset about this.
SG: How come he got his burger before me??
Me: Because they were ordered several minutes apart.
SG: But we’re sitting at the same table! Surely it makes sense that we would want to eat at the same time!
Me: If they had been ordered at the same time, or even just a minute or two apart, it wouldn’t be a problem. If you want I could take his meal back and put it under the heat lamp until yours is ready.
SG: Yes! I will do that!
He went for his buddy’s meal. All I heard was “I’m not eating a cold meal because you took too long reading the menu! You can wait!” He sat there, looking very unhappy until his meal arrived.
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We were out of a couple of menu items, but we had a delivery due. The delivery was being pulled in while this lady tried to order.
SC: And I would like the fish.
Me: Oh, I’m sorry, we are out of fish. Is there anything else you would like?
SC: Well, I can quite clearly see you are getting a delivery in. Why don’t you check and see if it’s on that.
Me: I will see what I can do, but it may take about an hour before I am able to reach any products.
SC: Well, I don’t plan on being here in an hour so you’d better get to it quick and check now!
I was just about to head out the back and check, when I heard her giggle to her friend:
SC: I love upsetting the help. It will motivate them to get a better job.
WHAT?!?!
Me: You know what, no, we don’t have any fish on the delivery.
SC: You didn’t even check!
Me: I don’t have to. We don’t have any fish.
SC: Go and check!
Me: We DO.NOT have any fish.
SC: Well, I’m not staying here then!
She walked away. I turned to a co-worker.
Me: I love upsetting the customers. It will motivate them to become nicer people.
She turned around and looked at me. It was physically impossible for her jaw to drop any lower.
We did have fish on the delivery.
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A different lady came up to the bar.
DL: Do you have anything festive for sale for this time of year?
Me: We sure do. We have several Christmas themed drinks. What are you after? A hot drink? Alcoholic? Non-alcoholic?
DL: No, I mean food wise.
Me: Oh, I don’t think we have anything like that. But we are having a Christmas bake sale on Sunday.
DL: Well that’s not much good to me right now. Don’t you have any turkey dinners? Or goose? Or Christmas pudding? Mince pies??
Me: I’m afraid we don’t. Like I said, we will have loads of that stuff available on Sunday-
DL: That’s not good enough. You are quite clearly a politically correct, Christmas-hating establishment!
She left.
Did I mention that the place was decorated from top to bottom with decorations, wrapping paper and snow spray? We also had Christmas songs playing and I was wearing a fucking Santa hat!
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I finished work at last. I went into the back room and grabbed my coat. As I walked off the bar, my wallet fell out my pocket and onto the floor. I immediately picked it up, put it back in my pocket and started walking. About five seconds later, I was suddenly alarmed because I noticed an immediate weight difference in my pocket again. My wallet was gone again, so I turned around and retraced the couple of steps I had taken.
No sign of the wallet. I am immediately pissed off, and start looking everywhere. There were several customers around, and I took the time to ask them if they had seen it. Nope. No one had seen anything. In the space of four footsteps, my wallet had vanished, just like that. A few co-workers and I look everywhere. No luck at all. We checked camera footage, but there were too many people around to see anything. Fuck. I call the bank and cancel everything I have. There was only £10 in the wallet, so at least I wasn’t losing much.
I get a phone call this morning from a cleaner at work. She is asking if I had lost my wallet. I immediately breathe a sigh of relief as she tells me she has found it, complete with cards and I.D. No money though, and she found it stuffed down the back of a chair.
A fucking customer stole my wallet. I want to kill the fucker. I’ve taken a lot of crap from customers, but that was too far. That customer better pray I don’t find him/her.
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Here’s a bonus story from the office job. It took place on the same day.
It was the school Christmas fare on Friday. I posted about it last year. Luckily I wasn’t required to work this year and stayed as far away as possible. Apparently during the fare, they had one of those Name the Teddy stores. I found this out in an unfortunate way.
I buzzed a lady into the building.
L: Where’s my bear?!?
Me: I’m…uhhh…what?
L: My bear! The bear I won! Where is it?!?
Me: I’m really sorry, but you need to calm down and start from the beginning because I have no idea what you are talking about.
L: I took part in the Name the Bear competition on Friday, and I won! But I haven’t been given my bear! I want my bear!
Me: OK, can you give me some more details? Did someone call you to tell you that you had won?
L: No! I had to leave here before the winner was announced, but my best friend called me and told me I had won! Now I want my bear!
Me: OK, who was running the stall? Can you tell me?
L: No!
Me: What was the winning name?
L: The name I picked! I’ve already said that!
Me: But what was the name?
L: Scruffy or Scruffles.
Me: Right.
L: Or Spangles or Spanky or something like that.
Me: ….
L: Or Snuffles.
Me: Right, well I can’t do anything about it right now because all the staff involved in the fare have gone home for the day, but I will send an memo to all staff asking for whoever was running the stall to come forward so we can find out what was going on.
L: Could have been Sprinkles….
Me: Is that OK with you? Can you leave me your name so I can get someone to contact you?
L: Fine! But I am really annoyed about this.
Me: I am sorry about that.
L: Now I think of it, the bear could have been called Steven.
She left. Would you like to know what the crazy ladies initials were?
S.C.
I have since discovered that she did not in fact win the bear, and that it went home under the name of Brian.
Last night was the first time I have ever needed a drink on a weeknight in over two years.
The fish lady story was awesome too...good job
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