Where every store has broken the law.

[Mytical]

Have a few stories today.

<background> Customer calls up, a pre-ordered item is being pushed back, so it is not going to be available for Christmas. </end background>

Me- "I am sorry to hear that, but unfortunately we have to wait till the item has arrived, and the company says it is ok to release it. Not much we can do about that.

CX - "It is illegal to sell things you don't have. I am sure the media will be very interested in knowing that smurfsandponies.com* is breaking the law.

Me - <Thinking so every store that has ever ran a black friday deal and had an item run out of stock is breaking the law..which is pretty much all of them, or ever offered a pre-order has broken the law..because they did not have the item RIGHT then> Sir, it is not the fact that you will never get the item, but that we have to wait for the product to actually be made before shipping it.

CX - "Well I am a lawyer, so I know that trying to sell something you do not have is fraud! Think a class action is in order here."

Me - Again sir, you will get your item, there is no fraud, as soon as we get it..you will get it.

Rinse/repeat for what it seems like an hour. Really, I mean come on..this means that just about any store that is not a second-hand/consignment shop or the like has 'broken the law'

On a similar vein...

Customer calls up about two items that are temporarily out of stock. Never was charged for the item (but can not seem to grasp that) because we do not collect until item is shipped..since we never had the item for him..never charged...simple concept...right? Oh ... so wrong.

Pretty much the conversation above, with a change of : "You have not been charged, and will not be until we get the item in stock." from me and a "You charged me for the item, and I do not have the item. I have a fraud case here!"
<thinking .. you and the other caller have a law firm together don't you?!>

Now there was a good one.. CX had gotten a buy 1 get 2 free deal (a legit promotion that I varified) but because one of them was out of stock was told that she would be unable to get the deal (which is WRONG, she WILL get the deal). Did she throw a fit, tell me how illegal it was, etc? No..just called me, asked what I can do, let me do my thing..and told me funny stories while I worked on it.Why can't more cx's be like that?!

Next one wasn't exactly sucky, just unfortunate. Customer calls, I can barely make out what they are saying due to accent. Very nice, but repeating self (even the parts I understood) many many times, so I am repeating myself many many times. I hate communication barriers.

[notlovinit]

Don't know if this will work for you, but what I do whenever anyone threatens a lawsuit is to say "Okay, sir, you will have to take that up with our legal department." and if they push it further I say "I'm sorry, but as this is now a legal matter, I cannot discuss your order with you anymore. You will have to speak to the legal department." and I kept repeating that until they either get bored and hang up or decide to "drop" the lawsuit.

[firecat88]

Those first two sound like a case of 'What's actually happening has been pointed out to me, but acknowledging the fact would mean acknowledging I was wrong, and I can't have that. Thus, I'm going to ignore it and keep repeating myself'. Why are some people so damned determined to be right, even when they're not?

[Mytical]

notlovinit Oh how I wish. I would absolutely love that. Our goal is 'one contact resolution' if at all humanly possible. I can document complaints, etc, and short of three things I am expected to handle most everything. Misdirected calls (like for our tech department which we do sometimes get), cursing (and even then we have to issue 3 warnings) or silence (same 3 warnings) we have to keep on the phone until the customer gives up. Its sad..I mean I am 'authorized' to do everything within my power for a customer..and yes I can transfer to legal IF the customer asks for it, but somethings are out of my puny abilities. Like making a not finished item suddenly finished.

[Mytical]

Oh and I forgot my absolute favorite customers. The ones who refuse to give ANY information. At all. Name? Nope. Phone number? Good luck with that. Address. Yeah and I am the easter bunny. So how in the name of sanity am I supposed to find anything? You know how many customers 'smurfsandponies.com' has? It's not like looking for a needle in a haystack. It is like looking for a single certain piece of hay in a hay stack the size of North America...yes ALL of North America.

[Pixilated]

Next time a "lawyer" suddenly pops up (in the middle of a phone call) are you allowed to ask the name of their law firm so you can have your lawyers contact them during regular business hours ... ?

[emax4]

Oh and I forgot my absolute favorite customers. The ones who refuse to give ANY information. At all. Name? Nope. Phone number? Good luck with that. Address. Yeah and I am the easter bunny. So how in the name of sanity am I supposed to find anything? You know how many customers 'smurfsandponies.com' has? It's not like looking for a needle in a haystack. It is like looking for a single certain piece of hay in a hay stack the size of North America...yes ALL of North America.

I think that's the appropriate time to respond with, "ok, when you provide information, then I'll provide information. When you're ready to do that, call back and I'll try to help you. Goodbye!" and hang up. Same with the lawyers. Once they start mentioning that, you should ask if they have a pen & paper, give them the name & number of the stores team of lawyers, then say that you can't discuss the matter anymore, and hang up.

If the management questions you, simply tell them the truth that the first type of callers didn't provide information, which was holding up the other callers, and that with the second type of callers; they were speaking of lawyers which you know nothing about to respond with and provided them the numbers of the store's law firm.

[JustaCashier]

Those first two sound like a couple of asshats.

Condensed that a bit for you.

Mike

[BeenThereDoneThat]

Mytical, sounds like the rules you have to follow on calls are about the same as mine, including the one call resolution. And I really dislike when they insist we've charged them for something before shipping it. If the item is custom made, and this is made clear to the customer at the time of purchase (as it should be), they should know a deposit (up to 50%) is taken up front and they have 24 hours to change their minds before we keep the deposit. The remainder isn't charged until the item ships, and if the item is not custom, same thing...charge upon shipment.

Some of them get up in arms about authorization holds. I really don't know much about the whole AH concept other than that it's very common that we pre-authorize a card before we can charge it. It might have to due with the type of card used or something else to do with that particular card but if the authorization doesn't go through, it is not OUR fault. Also, I do realize it can be an inconvenience to have holds on your card that don't drop off for several days, but again, it's a bank thing. I can't do anything about it, and even though it looks the same as a charge on your CC statement it is not a charge, or if it is it's "pending" and not final.

On top of that we have all of our wonderful backorders/special order items where the date keeps changing. Now in this case I usually feel bad for the customer because I think we need to start leaning a bit heavier on our suppliers...but still, *I* can't do anything about it. And again, we don't charge till we ship so if the date slips, guess what? So does your charge. Custom orders usually can't be canceled after 24 hours (so don't buy 'em rashly, mmmmkay?), but regular orders can be canceled any time before they go into processing to ship...so if you don't want to wait, cancel your backorder and go live your life. Shit happens.

Lastly...yes, we do charge before you actually get the item. Perhaps this is not how everyone does things but it IS legal, I assure you.

[XCashier]

Next time a "lawyer" suddenly pops up (in the middle of a phone call) are you allowed to ask the name of their law firm so you can have your lawyers contact them during regular business hours ... ?

Dewey, Cheatham and Howe?

I think that's the appropriate time to respond with, "ok, when you provide information, then I'll provide information. When you're ready to do that, call back and I'll try to help you. Goodbye!" and hang up.

That would be nice, wouldn't it? Sadly, too many spineless managers would consider that "bad customer service" to not have ESP and be able to pull the information out of the customer's thoughtwaves without them having to use their words.

[emax4]

Dewey, Cheatham and Howe?

That would be nice, wouldn't it? Sadly, too many spineless managers would consider that "bad customer service" to not have ESP and be able to pull the information out of the customer's thoughtwaves without them having to use their words.

In that case, I would ask a manager, "then you tell me how I can do my job with no information given by the customer.." then roleplay as the customer and the manager roleplay as the CSR, even cut them off in mid-sentence like any SC would. Make them lead by example. No, you can't re-enact every bad scenario you'll encounter, but it'll put a fire under their butts so they can see for themselves what you go through, and hopefully the resolution would yield you guys the proper way that management wants you to handle things when such an incident arises.

[Mytical]

The way management wants us to handle that, sadly, is to keep trying until we are somehow able to divine an answer. Yet, paradoxically, our goal to help customers is set to 10 minutes. They don't complain when a call goes over mind, just our 'stats' are hurt..stats determines who stays seasonal and who gets offered work after the holidays. Of course at least others are having the same rules/issues.

Yesterday I had a customer give me an item number for a black friday deal item, and expected me to find out who they are with just that. Had to mute them I was laughing so hard. I finally was able to get a phone number (they were very reluctant) pulled up the account..and after 30 minutes..I couldn't talk to them about it. Because they were the person the item was being shipped TO, not the person who bought it. I can give vague info, but can not change a thing. Half an hour to just have to say "Sorry I can not do that."

Yeah the rules suck, but nothing can be done about them unfortunately. They want to pay me to sit there and try to be a psychic, I will play a psychic. *shrugs*.

[emax4]

Is there a way you can simply give the management the scenarios you've just described and ask them the way that they would handle it or the way that it should be handled going by the corporate rulebook/guidelines?

Ask them: "Ok, so the goal is ten minutes or less per call. The words "keep trying" don't always work. So you're saying that I can keep trying, even though the call is lasting beyond ten minutes, and I won't get dinged or marked for not doing my job correctly and not hitting the goal? If I'm attempting to try over and over, and the customer isn't helping; then it seems that the customer is the one opposing me from doing my job and helping to reach our goal. So, how does the CSR resolve this by staying within the guidelines and reaching the goal?"

Maybe you've just answered it, by saying that nothing can be done.

[Mytical]

Actually I have asked just this, I forget the exact wording used but here was the gist of it. "You have to keep a positive and can do attitude. Take control of the calls, and you will learn how to do both. You can do it!"

IE (despite all logic, we do not see a paradox in this, just get it done and shut up about it).

[EricKei]

ME - "Okay, ma'am, since you refuse to give me ANY of your info, I'll just have to put you down as "Refused"...Ah! I see we already have such an account. Wow, ma'am, you order from us a lot! The issue is, you never seem to pay your bills, so you now owe us...let's see...Fifty thousand, four hundred, and twenty-two dollars. How would you like to pay that?"

SC - "WhaWhatWHAAAAAT?! I never ordered all that stuff! This is only my third time calling you!"

ME - "Hrm, no, I show over four hundred orders from the name "Refused" in the past few years or so...Might your account be under another name so we can look up your personal account? Because, if not, I will have to hold you responsible for these charges, Ms. Refused"...