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This happened many years ago when i was still in high school. so all the facts might not be right. I will dub this customer as PH (pothead for those who might be confused.)
Its almost 11 pm on my shift and i was finishing up with a few customers who were regulars during this time of night. It was my 6th time working the counter at golden arches and i was very close to clocking out.
This guy why wandered in as i was dealing with this nice girl i knew in school, gets in line. I can see he is very high and even seems to be admiring the bright lights with a really stupid grin on his face. Not to mention that me and said customer in front of him could both smell the powerful stink of weed on him. As soon as he walks up to the counter, he looks at me with blood shot eyes and starts to order.
PH: I'd like some black blue jeans. Where can i find them?
Me, taken aback due to him asking for pants: Sir, we don't serve pants, only food.
PH: isn't this Target?
Me: No, this is a restaurant. My i take your order?
Now let me explain this. Ive dealt with potheads in the past. But never had i ever seen someone so stoned out of his mind that he'd ask me for pants! My manager was working the fryer behind me and was watching closely to i guess make sure this guy didn't go crazy and attack everyone.
I cleared my throat to draw back his attention because he seemed to space out on me. I was also trying very hard not to laugh at this guys stupid request and the fact that he was way out of it.
PH: In that case... I'd like a taco.
Me, trying very hard to be nice and not laugh: We don't serve tacos here. Would you like something off the menu?
PH, looking a bit amazed: WHOA!! You have a menu?!
My manager behind me is now starting to giggle a bit at PH. I am trying very hard to not laugh because of my manager behind me.
Me: Yes. it's right behind me.
PH starts looking around and i have to point it out to him. He stares at it for a few minutes and blinks.
PH: i can't read it without my glasses.
He pulls out a pair of cheapo sunglasses that looked to be for females and slides them on! At this point i'm about to wet myself from fighting off laughter. He goes back to reading the menu, or so i thought...
PH: i'd like a pair of sneakers.
Me: sir, this is a restaurant, not a shoe store. Please order some food.
At this point i notice another customer behind him. This guy was not helping by making silly motions at the guy like he's crazy.
PH: uh..... i'd like a taco?
Me: sir, i've already told you we don't have tacos.
Ph: I'll pay you with weed.
At this point my manager is about to walk up and talk to this guy, but stops when good old wacko pulls out a dirty shoe lace and offers it to me.
Me, looking at the shoelace then back to PH like he's out of his mind: sir, thats a dirty shoelace.
PH pulls the shoelace away quickly and starts stroking it.
PH: This ain't a shoelace! It's my pet snake Lispy!
By this point i'm really finding it hard not to laugh. But good old stoner puts the 'snake' away and acts like nothing happened.
PH: i'd like a nugget. and a large soda.
Finally, i think, we're getting some where!! I look at him.
Me: What size would you like?
PH: What about size? i thought they were small?
ME, sighing at this point and pointing at the menu again: We have 5, 10 and 15 packs of them sir.
PH: WHoa!! you have five packs?!
I nod to him and he says he'll have a 5 pack and a large soda. I finally tell him his price before i ring it up. He reaches into the pocket with his 'snake and pulls out a dime. Im not kidding, a fucking dime!!
Me: Sir, i'll need the rest of the money before we can serve you.
PH, looking a little confused: But i am paying you?
Me: Sir, the total is 3.56. (i don't remember the price.)
PH: but i has money.
Me: But not the full amount. i'm afraid i can't serve you without that.
PH puts the dime in his pocket and sadly staggers off. My manager who has watched this whole scene walks up and bursts out laughing. He tells me i handled that very well and that he has called the police to take the guy. I turn to him with only one thing to say.
Me: I'm not on Candid Camera am I?
My manger laughes harder and i go clock out for the night.
This is why i now hate late shift when dealing with people....
Its almost 11 pm on my shift and i was finishing up with a few customers who were regulars during this time of night. It was my 6th time working the counter at golden arches and i was very close to clocking out.
This guy why wandered in as i was dealing with this nice girl i knew in school, gets in line. I can see he is very high and even seems to be admiring the bright lights with a really stupid grin on his face. Not to mention that me and said customer in front of him could both smell the powerful stink of weed on him. As soon as he walks up to the counter, he looks at me with blood shot eyes and starts to order.
PH: I'd like some black blue jeans. Where can i find them?
Me, taken aback due to him asking for pants: Sir, we don't serve pants, only food.
PH: isn't this Target?
Me: No, this is a restaurant. My i take your order?
Now let me explain this. Ive dealt with potheads in the past. But never had i ever seen someone so stoned out of his mind that he'd ask me for pants! My manager was working the fryer behind me and was watching closely to i guess make sure this guy didn't go crazy and attack everyone.
I cleared my throat to draw back his attention because he seemed to space out on me. I was also trying very hard not to laugh at this guys stupid request and the fact that he was way out of it.
PH: In that case... I'd like a taco.
Me, trying very hard to be nice and not laugh: We don't serve tacos here. Would you like something off the menu?
PH, looking a bit amazed: WHOA!! You have a menu?!
My manager behind me is now starting to giggle a bit at PH. I am trying very hard to not laugh because of my manager behind me.
Me: Yes. it's right behind me.
PH starts looking around and i have to point it out to him. He stares at it for a few minutes and blinks.
PH: i can't read it without my glasses.
He pulls out a pair of cheapo sunglasses that looked to be for females and slides them on! At this point i'm about to wet myself from fighting off laughter. He goes back to reading the menu, or so i thought...
PH: i'd like a pair of sneakers.
Me: sir, this is a restaurant, not a shoe store. Please order some food.
At this point i notice another customer behind him. This guy was not helping by making silly motions at the guy like he's crazy.
PH: uh..... i'd like a taco?
Me: sir, i've already told you we don't have tacos.
Ph: I'll pay you with weed.
At this point my manager is about to walk up and talk to this guy, but stops when good old wacko pulls out a dirty shoe lace and offers it to me.
Me, looking at the shoelace then back to PH like he's out of his mind: sir, thats a dirty shoelace.
PH pulls the shoelace away quickly and starts stroking it.
PH: This ain't a shoelace! It's my pet snake Lispy!
By this point i'm really finding it hard not to laugh. But good old stoner puts the 'snake' away and acts like nothing happened.
PH: i'd like a nugget. and a large soda.
Finally, i think, we're getting some where!! I look at him.
Me: What size would you like?
PH: What about size? i thought they were small?
ME, sighing at this point and pointing at the menu again: We have 5, 10 and 15 packs of them sir.
PH: WHoa!! you have five packs?!
I nod to him and he says he'll have a 5 pack and a large soda. I finally tell him his price before i ring it up. He reaches into the pocket with his 'snake and pulls out a dime. Im not kidding, a fucking dime!!
Me: Sir, i'll need the rest of the money before we can serve you.
PH, looking a little confused: But i am paying you?
Me: Sir, the total is 3.56. (i don't remember the price.)
PH: but i has money.
Me: But not the full amount. i'm afraid i can't serve you without that.
PH puts the dime in his pocket and sadly staggers off. My manager who has watched this whole scene walks up and bursts out laughing. He tells me i handled that very well and that he has called the police to take the guy. I turn to him with only one thing to say.
Me: I'm not on Candid Camera am I?
My manger laughes harder and i go clock out for the night.
This is why i now hate late shift when dealing with people....
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