I can't make this simpler, I swear

[Miss Fatale]

In two weeks, my students have an essay due. We talked about the requirements for it today. This essay must follow a specific format, something like this:

Paragraph I: Introduction
Paragraph II: What are cats?
Paragraph III: Why are cats awesome?
Paragraph IV: Why are cats better pets than dogs and birds?
Paragraph V: Conclusion

"That's the outline," I explain to my students. "Do not add anything to it, do not delete anything from it, and do not rearrange it. Any questions?"

[I paraphrased the outline, obviously, but this is exactly what I said to them in regards to following it.]

There are questions:

"Can we add anything to it?"
"Can I move the information around?"
"Can I write an outline and then you can okay it?"

I try not to sigh audibly, and explain again, "Don't add anything, don't change the order of the paragraphs. You can submit an outline to me if you wish, but it should look like this. Other questions?"

There are still questions:

"What do we write for paragraph 3?"
"I'm lost."
"When can I ask a question?"

It was a very long lesson.

ETA: Forgot another terrific question: "What do we write about?" Not just for a specific paragraph, but the entire essay. It's about cats. I'm sorry if you don't like that topic, but that's the topic.

[Rena_Muffin]

Wow. Kinda sad actually. Our teachers just used to hand us a piece of paper and leave us on our own devices to figure out what to do, and we did okay. How old are your students?

[notlovinit]

Wow, what the? I was never given an outline by the time I went to university (I think I read somewhere that's the age group you teach, but my mind just might be making that up to confuse me). I would have LOVED an outline. You really can't make an assignment any easier than that.

[Hanzoku]

I second the question on age. If it's older then early elementary, I weep for the future of mankind.

[AtDIelement]

I'm lost, can I ask you a question? *ducks*

[Onlooker]

How many times did they ask how many sentences are in a paragraph?

I feel your pain. I start tutoring again on Monday.

[Jay 2K Winger]

I don't know how you can try not to sigh audibly at that.

I WOULD sigh audibly. I know teachers these days can't really do anything that might suggest their students are being ignorant or stupid (because that would bruise their pwecious widdle egos and they'd go bawling off to the parental units and/or the higher-ups), but goddamn, that's just plain dumb to ask a question you JUST RECEIVED THE ANSWER TO.

And that's why I wouldn't be a good teacher. I don't have that kind of patience.

[taxguykarl]

I second the question on age. If it's older then early elementary, I weep for the future of mankind.

and she's right....this will be a long semister
Tell me this is a remideal or "special" class.

[Jay 2K Winger]

I'm pretty sure that the OP teaches high school or above.

But yes, if you're not weeping for the future, start.

[psycholicious_cxs]

How does one not want to get sarcastic and point at the list or sigh audibly?! And to think, I'm going into teaching; time to learn patience.

[Miss Fatale]

This is a college-level course, I'm afraid. Many of my students are "underprepared," which means they come from less than rigorous academic backgrounds (poverty, crummy high schools, etc). This isn't a remedial course, but it is simplified to help students succeed.

I enjoy working with this population, because there's so much to learn and build on. The skills they get from my class will help them regardless of whether they graduate or not.

But some days.

I try not to sigh or show agitation because these are populations that are used to being ignored or told they don't matter. If you show too much irritation, that shuts down the conversation. I try to save it up for Customers Suck.

[Jay 2K Winger]

I salute you, then, Miss Fatale, for doing what you can to improve the lives of these students. And I salute you further for restraining your frustration and NOT sighing in exasperation on them.

It also highlights why they seem so aggravatingly slackish and unwilling to learn. They've coasted and want to keep doing so.

[BeenThereDoneThat]

I have the highest respect for teachers...and I don't think I could ever be one, unless maybe I was doing training for a company or something. I just don't have that kind of patience...I am a nice person and I do what I can, but to have to deal with it on a daily basis...'fraid not. Good luck, Miss Fatale!!

[wolfie]

Can I change things around so paragraph IV is "why cats don't make as good pets as dogs and birds do"?

[Der Cute]

I applaud you for not imploding. Or exploding. Or incinerating. Personally I'd be gritting my teeth and saying "This.Is.The.Form. Do.Not.De-vee-ate.No.Changes.Due.Friday." One word at a time and no answers. How can this be..simpler?