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An innocent 16 yr old,and his first job
Well,this is the first story I'm contributing to this *ahem* lovely collection.It all starts off 4 days after my 16th birthday,I like many young men,wanted to pursue a career so i could,for lack of a better lie,impress the ladies.Well little did i know you had to have a good job to do that,well just call the first place I worked at "Baco Tell"(no attempt to disguise the hellhole I was employed at)
Well I had worked at "Baco Tell"(hereafter BT.) for nigh of 8 months,with no incident,not even one rude customer,I was beginning to think everything I had heard about the fast foo industry was a big lie,until,the most god-awful purple Pontiac Fiero with three Splash style stripes each being a different color(maroon,white,and i believe light blue,memory fails me)pulled into my drive-thru lane,one innocuous afternoon.
While he was at the speaker ordering,even the most experienced member of customer service would be able to detect any wrong-doings.But as is often the case,when you get face to face with a customer,everything changes...He pulls up,and I feel comfortable saying I live in Oklahoma,(please dont stalk lol) is every stereotype for a red-neck imbred pig-fucker it has been my displeasure to hear,I do live here to,thats the first thing out of towners pull.Anyways I digress,this gut,we'll just call him Mullet,cause thats the biggest memory I have besides the car,gets his food,takes his condiments,but when the drink came,so did the problem.
Now anyone who has ever handled a cup in fast-food knows if you squeeze the paper cups, the lid will pop like a zit,no matter how well attached,But oh no,not Mr.Mullet,I hand him his drink,he(you guessed it) squeezed the cup,a spectacular fountain of orange soda ensued all over the side of his god awful car,his snazzy interior,and indeed onto his lap,and the lap of his toothless she-beast.Now let me stop right here,I put lids on cups all day at that job,i know when a lid is attacthed because there is a difference in the way the cup feels without a lid,as opposed to a lid on top,But even then,even knowing that I put this lid on ALL THE WAY,I immediatley began spewing forth a nervous series of apologies while i handed him as many napkins as possible to Mr.Mullet,But no he was not having it,if I was to list the obscenities i was called,by this clearly 30 something man(keep in mind I'm only 16)you would get bored of reading and give up.We will just get to his ULTIMATE transgression,He spit on me.
I am as laid back as you can be,I do not get mad,I do not start fights,Hell I barely argue over the t.v.But you do not SPIT ON ANOTHER HUMAN BEING PERIOD.At this point I lost control,I told Mr.Mullet to spit on me again(as threateningly as my squeaky 16 year old voice could muster) He proceeded to spit on me again(my fault I did say to do it),But this time I was not standing there dumbfounded,this time, I ripped off my headset and my nifty radio belt and leaped through the drive-thru window as fast as possible,now at the age I am no I would never do this,but I was a minor,the law didnt scare me then.I leapt from the window and in an instance i had given him the cleanest right jab to the nose you could have possibly imagined,there was blood,I dont know that I broke it,I very seriously doubt i did,but he deserved it.No sooner then my flawlessly executed jab lands that he punches the gas,and i mean punches it,He scraped his car along the building,breaking off a mirror,then proceeding to drive up one curb then off the other.
As he's leaving the lot,all of my co-workers and interior customers had gathered at the window to watch this scene unfold, I made sure he was gone,then shaking as I had never shaken before,walked back in to face my inevitable unemployment...But no,My manager had witnessed everything from the time the drink was spilt,so she wisely told me to go into the office and smoke(she didnt want me outside)Now she comes in after 20-30 min of alone time for me to settle down,and says,I'm not gonna fire you,Under Oklahoma State Law,being spit on is considered assault with a deadly weapon as it is unknown whether the person has AIDS or some similar virus,and that virus can be contracted simply by having a strangers spit contact an open wound.So long story short,He had assaulted me,I had acted in self defense,and would have the backing of the company should he choose to come back,He never did.I finished my employment voluntarily with BT about 5 months later.
Well I had worked at "Baco Tell"(hereafter BT.) for nigh of 8 months,with no incident,not even one rude customer,I was beginning to think everything I had heard about the fast foo industry was a big lie,until,the most god-awful purple Pontiac Fiero with three Splash style stripes each being a different color(maroon,white,and i believe light blue,memory fails me)pulled into my drive-thru lane,one innocuous afternoon.
While he was at the speaker ordering,even the most experienced member of customer service would be able to detect any wrong-doings.But as is often the case,when you get face to face with a customer,everything changes...He pulls up,and I feel comfortable saying I live in Oklahoma,(please dont stalk lol) is every stereotype for a red-neck imbred pig-fucker it has been my displeasure to hear,I do live here to,thats the first thing out of towners pull.Anyways I digress,this gut,we'll just call him Mullet,cause thats the biggest memory I have besides the car,gets his food,takes his condiments,but when the drink came,so did the problem.
Now anyone who has ever handled a cup in fast-food knows if you squeeze the paper cups, the lid will pop like a zit,no matter how well attached,But oh no,not Mr.Mullet,I hand him his drink,he(you guessed it) squeezed the cup,a spectacular fountain of orange soda ensued all over the side of his god awful car,his snazzy interior,and indeed onto his lap,and the lap of his toothless she-beast.Now let me stop right here,I put lids on cups all day at that job,i know when a lid is attacthed because there is a difference in the way the cup feels without a lid,as opposed to a lid on top,But even then,even knowing that I put this lid on ALL THE WAY,I immediatley began spewing forth a nervous series of apologies while i handed him as many napkins as possible to Mr.Mullet,But no he was not having it,if I was to list the obscenities i was called,by this clearly 30 something man(keep in mind I'm only 16)you would get bored of reading and give up.We will just get to his ULTIMATE transgression,He spit on me.
I am as laid back as you can be,I do not get mad,I do not start fights,Hell I barely argue over the t.v.But you do not SPIT ON ANOTHER HUMAN BEING PERIOD.At this point I lost control,I told Mr.Mullet to spit on me again(as threateningly as my squeaky 16 year old voice could muster) He proceeded to spit on me again(my fault I did say to do it),But this time I was not standing there dumbfounded,this time, I ripped off my headset and my nifty radio belt and leaped through the drive-thru window as fast as possible,now at the age I am no I would never do this,but I was a minor,the law didnt scare me then.I leapt from the window and in an instance i had given him the cleanest right jab to the nose you could have possibly imagined,there was blood,I dont know that I broke it,I very seriously doubt i did,but he deserved it.No sooner then my flawlessly executed jab lands that he punches the gas,and i mean punches it,He scraped his car along the building,breaking off a mirror,then proceeding to drive up one curb then off the other.
As he's leaving the lot,all of my co-workers and interior customers had gathered at the window to watch this scene unfold, I made sure he was gone,then shaking as I had never shaken before,walked back in to face my inevitable unemployment...But no,My manager had witnessed everything from the time the drink was spilt,so she wisely told me to go into the office and smoke(she didnt want me outside)Now she comes in after 20-30 min of alone time for me to settle down,and says,I'm not gonna fire you,Under Oklahoma State Law,being spit on is considered assault with a deadly weapon as it is unknown whether the person has AIDS or some similar virus,and that virus can be contracted simply by having a strangers spit contact an open wound.So long story short,He had assaulted me,I had acted in self defense,and would have the backing of the company should he choose to come back,He never did.I finished my employment voluntarily with BT about 5 months later.
As Chaucer said in A Knight's Tale, " I will eviscerate you in fiction. I will document every pimple, every character flaw".
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