It's tax season, let the madness begin.

[AmethystSquirrel]

Well...Had a guy come in today with only one w-2 for about $3,000. He had a wife and three kids. (my antennae was raised)

I started asking a couple questions to satisfy due diligence.

AS: good old squirrely gal here
DH: Dumb Husband
MW: Mouthy Wife

AM: So, it shows here you have an income of $3,000
MW: YES and our 3 kids will give us earned income credit and child tax credit so we should have about a $10,000 return.
AM: Are you on public assistance or have any other income
DH: Well I have a job off the books but I am not going to claim it
AM: (after I get the look of you are an idiot off my face) Sir, ALL income has to be reported.
MW: Damn you DH why did you say that shut up. *turns to me* Don't listen to him. He isn't thinking straight since he got hit int he head with a baseball bat.
DH: I didn't get hit with a baseball bat
MW: NOT YET.
AM: Well umm, excuse me, you need to report all income you received. You can list it on a Schedule C for self employed.
MW: Now here this missy, what's your name again? Turtle? You will only report what I tell you to report.
AM: My name is Squirrel and I am sorry I refuse to do your tax return. Here is your W2 you may leave.
DH: *mumbles* I am sorry.
MW: *Stands up* YOU. WILL. DO. MY. TAXES.
AW: *I stand up* I am sorry, you have to leave now.
MW: DAMNIT DH you have gotten us kicked out of every tax office in the city (there are only 4) now we can't file our taxes and we have to move out of the country. Come on kids, we are moving to Pennsylvania.


I had NO CLUE PA succeeded from the union!


*Note 1: Due Diligence has become more strict on tax preparers. $500 per offence if charged. I am NOT risking my job for ANYONE!

**Note 2: I live in a town in NY that is 15 min from the PA border.


Now, I am not saying a lot of people have not had off the books jobs. your TAX PREPARER is one of the few people you NEVER EVER EVER tell that to!

[Android Kaeli]

I'm not saying this is right or anything, but I agree -- one of the last people on this freaking PLANET you wanna tell about your secret off the books jobs to, is the person that does your taxes. Then again, this guy was an idiot to begin with.

[Slayer]

I'm not saying this is right or anything, but I agree -- one of the last people on this freaking PLANET you wanna tell about your secret off the books jobs to, is the person that does your taxes. Then again, this guy was an idiot to begin with.

Gotta agree on all counts.

[raudf]

I'm guessing DH would also be the kind of person who would admit to the nice officer who pulled him over for an out headlight that he DOES have a batch of pot in the back of his vehicle.

His wife, on the other hand, is a mouthy little piece and I'm sorry you had to deal with her.

[Lyse]

Geez - and I was all freaked out over taxes last year because 80% of my income came from tax exempt sources and I was worried about audits. Maybe a baseball bat wouldn't be *such* a bad thing.

[AmethystSquirrel]

Geez - and I was all freaked out over taxes last year because 80% of my income came from tax exempt sources and I was worried about audits. Maybe a baseball bat wouldn't be *such* a bad thing.

Lyse there shouldn't be a problem with that! A lot of people have that type of situation.

[Sleepwalker]

Off the books doesn't count when you tell the book keeper.

[Mr Hero]

"Can you pay me under the table? I got a little tax problem."

[BeenThereDoneThat]

MW: Damn you DH why did you say that shut up. *turns to me* Don't listen to him. He isn't thinking straight since he got hit int he head with a baseball bat.
DH: I didn't get hit with a baseball bat
MW: NOT YET.

OMG, I can't stop laughing. I sure wish that whole bit would show up on a dumb criminal show...

[fireheart]

Agreed, you do not hide anything from your tax help!

[mikoyan29]

I have to believe that the IRS has something that would check the sanity of a family of that size living on $3,000/year. I mean if that doesn't trip their radars, I don't know what would. And why would a customer expect a person to lie to the IRS. Of all of the Federal entities, the IRS would be the last one I'd want to lie to.

[downforit2008]

Can anyone here say TAX FRAUD??? Both of those people could end up in prison for unreported income!!! They should be lucky you didn't report them to the IRS for this. Not pissed off and ranting about how they want to move to Pennsylvania, which in their minds is a foreign country.

Only in America, right?

[Bright_Star]

I live in Pennsylvania. We're our own nation now? Wow...LOL! Seriously though, what idiot says they're going to try to scam the gov't right in front of a tax professional?

[MoonCat]

Wow, that's a whole new level of dumb. It would be pretty darn entertaining to watch these people wander around Pennsylvania, though. "Honey, look! They got American dollars here! And they speak English, too!"

[dalesys]

...wander around Pennsylvania... "... And they speak English, too!"

Yep. Ain't many speakers of Pennsylvania Dutch left.