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I work as a cashier at SupaSave, a fictionally named retail store that also sells (some) groceries. This wasn't all in one day, but spread out between a couple of months. I'm sure there's more, but I don't like to sweet the small stuff, I like to go big. 
First Exorcism of the Year
The child was screaming, which in itself, wasn’t bad. Kids scream over lots of things; toothaches, tired, bored, sick, maybe even just seeing the color blue gets ‘em going. But when it starts to sound like she’s Emily Rose and trying to pry a cross off her chest, I’m going to be irritated. Said child was screaming while hyperventilating. I thought she was gonna pass out at the halfway mark. I brushed it off to my people in line (thankfully I didn’t have to ring them out) as a tired child, but sure enough, when they finished and walked off, mommy dearest was trying to use Chinese Whispers™ to tell the kid, no, they weren’t getting a toy. Once they passed the glass doors, the decibel levels tripled and a resounding wail was heard. The mother didn’t do anything. The only thing I heard from her was before she went into line, and it was, “Do you want me to take you to the bathroom so you can cry it out?”. Cry it out? In a bathroom, where it echoes. If I was a guest in the restroom, and you decide to bring your kid in there so she can bellow even louder, I would have some choice words for you.
You’re not condescending at all
Tired Woman, is going through the line and is very haggard looking. I offer my sympathies when she says that her baby has been giving her trouble and not sleeping for the past couple of days. I offer some products that I’ve heard work well for soothing infants, but she’s said that they haven’t done anything. I apologize, and tell her that I hope it gets better, I’m sure it’s rough. That’s not the classy way to do it, apparently.
The REAL way to do it was to tell the single mother than she doesn’t have it that bad, and keep repeating while she’s sputtering, that she doesn’t have it rough. Until the woman leaves, tired, haggard, and pissed off that someone just told her that her lack of sleep is ‘easy’. Then tell me that she doesn’t have it rough. Not that you think she doesn’t have it rough, but that you know she doesn’t. So thank you, Old Bat, for making me get a real look at how your personality works. You acted nice otherwise! I’ll make sure to put myself on Autopilot* when I see you.
*Autopilot, the script of the basics. No small talk, or if it is, just a small, polite muttering of the weather, followed by equally polite silence. That’s what I’m usually on anyway, but I like to make a good conversation with it. I don’t converse with twats like you though! Enjoy your Polite Silence.
The Artist Wanders the…Bathroom?
Someone was coloring with a brown crayon in the woman’s bathroom, and smeared it on the handle of the handicapped stall. Thankfully I wasn’t the one to see that. What I got to see was that every single toilet wasn’t flushed. I don’t know what’s worse.
It's my Job to Upsell, Not Yours
Why yes, I'm aware I have wrist supports. And I'm sure my back is as twisted as the Yellow Brick Road, but I don't want your Chiropractor service card, or your massage card, or anything, really. When a cashier says they're poor, there usually isn't much evidence against it. Also, I have no problem getting asked if I can be prayed for, I don't mind someone's goodwill. But shoving me a book's worth of religious work, or a piece of paper telling my current destined place after death, is not welcome. While I can't say it, I hope someone else will have the guts to tell you how they feel about your papers one day. Very loudly. >.o Someone had the nerve to put them on business cards, which most people throw away anyway. Seems a bit counter-intuitive.
Playing Dumb Saves my Braincells/The Second Exorcism
CL – Coupon Lady (or Crazy Lady, take your pick!
)
Me – Myself and I
HC – Head Cashier
LM – Lead Manager
You know it’s going to be a doozy when I actually have to spell out the cast! We have a coupon limit at our store. We’re one of the biggest SupaSave stores in the area. We’re the one that gets all the couponers, so at some point, to save our stock for other customers, we enacted a limit. They tell us to use our discretion on the rule, and to mostly bring it up when someone’s pretty much left paying sales tax and buying nothing else of value. Which matched this transaction perfectly. She comes up with 8 boxes of cookies, and 8 coupons. They are all coupons to make the cookies free. The woman already looks irritated, so I figure I’ll take the opportunity for HC to break the news (for the record, we’re told to do that for damage control, if we think the guest is going to get belligerent).***
Me – Hey, HC? What was that coupon limit again? I think it was only coupons, or was it items…?
CL - *instant catbutt face*
Boy, was I right.
HC – Yeah, it’s for coupons. You can only get four of the same coupon.
CL – That’s ridiculous! Tell me where it says that!
HC - *yanks out one of our SupaSave ads and points to the back* Right here. It says that each store has the right to reserve their own limits regarding coupons and prices.
CL - *whinging, whining, etc* So you’re telling me, that if I was paying money for all these, you’d let me buy them?
HC – Yes.
CL – But you wouldn’t let me get them all with coupons?
HC – Yes. Let me talk to the manager. *gets a radio*
CL – Please do. *even bigger CBF* Actually, I’ll just split these up in two transactions, then!
Us - …We’re sorry, but the limit of the items is per day, not per transaction…
CL – *Blue screen of death* adsf;lkajfoiasdf;ljasd WHATHOWDAREYOUFOAMINGATMOUTHNAO
HC – … *uses radio* LM, a guest would like to see you up front. He’ll be here shortly. *walks off*
Summary: They’re slightly different products, only by variety, but she has a lot, so we call a middle ground, and go by exactly what the coupons says. Which is only 5 of the same like coupons. So she’d get five packs of cookies instead of eight. That’s not bad, that’s pretty much half, right? While she’s waiting, I go to suspend it so we can deal with it then, but she demands that I let her buy the five first so she can get the rest afterwards (well aren’t you the cocky one). So I’m ringing up guests. And she’s waiting. And waiting. And waiting. Just kidding! She was just sitting there fuming for five minutes while LM was running from the backroom to the front. She even shouts to HC, asking if he’s actually coming up. After a good mental head-banging, he walks up.
CL – Are you the person that I was waiting for?!
LM – Yes…How can I help you?
CL – About your coupon policy blablabla..This is ridiculous! If you won’t let me do it, I’ll just go right back into line! I’m sure your corporate wouldn’t be happy to hear about this if I call the Ethics Hotline!
*deadpan* Oh no, please don’t call and tell corporate that we used our power properly to stop you from using an excessive amount of coupons...I’m sure they’ll be heartbroken to hear that you couldn’t get three more packs of free cookies.
LM – We made the coupon limit. If you were to come into my line again, I would refuse the transaction based on the fact that you already met the limit. It has nothing to do with how many transactions you want it, or who checks you out, the limit is per day. We have the right to refuse it according to the rules.
CL – What if I did it at a later hour?!
LM – As long as it’s today, we would be unable to use those coupons again for you, ma’am.
CL – A;SDLFUJIASDFNJ;LASDFJ SHOWMEWHEREITSAYSTHAT
LM – According to our corporate policy we have the right to limit our coupon use.
CL – I want to see it!
LM – Ma’am, I am not obliged to show you, and I’d like you to leave.
CL – WHARGLEBLARGLEBAMBLOOZI! *leaves*
So there you have it! It’s a God-given right to use eight coupons instead of four or five.
***We like to make sure that people don't wipe out our stock just because of coupons. If they're gonna empty our shelves and buy it like they normally would, there's nothing to stop it. With a coupon limit, we prevent one type of lack of stock. Keep in mind we also have a limit for without coupons too, it's just not as limited. I follow the policy given, and that's it. That's my job, and I'm going to do it.***
It took me a couple months to get enough to post. Is that a good thing or a bad thing?
I have awesome customers most of the time (or I have the patience of a saint, I've heard both), but I'll try my best to bring the nasty ones up when I get 'em!
First Exorcism of the Year
The child was screaming, which in itself, wasn’t bad. Kids scream over lots of things; toothaches, tired, bored, sick, maybe even just seeing the color blue gets ‘em going. But when it starts to sound like she’s Emily Rose and trying to pry a cross off her chest, I’m going to be irritated. Said child was screaming while hyperventilating. I thought she was gonna pass out at the halfway mark. I brushed it off to my people in line (thankfully I didn’t have to ring them out) as a tired child, but sure enough, when they finished and walked off, mommy dearest was trying to use Chinese Whispers™ to tell the kid, no, they weren’t getting a toy. Once they passed the glass doors, the decibel levels tripled and a resounding wail was heard. The mother didn’t do anything. The only thing I heard from her was before she went into line, and it was, “Do you want me to take you to the bathroom so you can cry it out?”. Cry it out? In a bathroom, where it echoes. If I was a guest in the restroom, and you decide to bring your kid in there so she can bellow even louder, I would have some choice words for you.
You’re not condescending at all
Tired Woman, is going through the line and is very haggard looking. I offer my sympathies when she says that her baby has been giving her trouble and not sleeping for the past couple of days. I offer some products that I’ve heard work well for soothing infants, but she’s said that they haven’t done anything. I apologize, and tell her that I hope it gets better, I’m sure it’s rough. That’s not the classy way to do it, apparently.
The REAL way to do it was to tell the single mother than she doesn’t have it that bad, and keep repeating while she’s sputtering, that she doesn’t have it rough. Until the woman leaves, tired, haggard, and pissed off that someone just told her that her lack of sleep is ‘easy’. Then tell me that she doesn’t have it rough. Not that you think she doesn’t have it rough, but that you know she doesn’t. So thank you, Old Bat, for making me get a real look at how your personality works. You acted nice otherwise! I’ll make sure to put myself on Autopilot* when I see you.*Autopilot, the script of the basics. No small talk, or if it is, just a small, polite muttering of the weather, followed by equally polite silence. That’s what I’m usually on anyway, but I like to make a good conversation with it. I don’t converse with twats like you though! Enjoy your Polite Silence.
The Artist Wanders the…Bathroom?
Someone was coloring with a brown crayon in the woman’s bathroom, and smeared it on the handle of the handicapped stall. Thankfully I wasn’t the one to see that. What I got to see was that every single toilet wasn’t flushed. I don’t know what’s worse.
It's my Job to Upsell, Not Yours
Why yes, I'm aware I have wrist supports. And I'm sure my back is as twisted as the Yellow Brick Road, but I don't want your Chiropractor service card, or your massage card, or anything, really. When a cashier says they're poor, there usually isn't much evidence against it. Also, I have no problem getting asked if I can be prayed for, I don't mind someone's goodwill. But shoving me a book's worth of religious work, or a piece of paper telling my current destined place after death, is not welcome. While I can't say it, I hope someone else will have the guts to tell you how they feel about your papers one day. Very loudly. >.o Someone had the nerve to put them on business cards, which most people throw away anyway. Seems a bit counter-intuitive.
Playing Dumb Saves my Braincells/The Second Exorcism
CL – Coupon Lady (or Crazy Lady, take your pick!
)Me – Myself and I
HC – Head Cashier
LM – Lead Manager
You know it’s going to be a doozy when I actually have to spell out the cast! We have a coupon limit at our store. We’re one of the biggest SupaSave stores in the area. We’re the one that gets all the couponers, so at some point, to save our stock for other customers, we enacted a limit. They tell us to use our discretion on the rule, and to mostly bring it up when someone’s pretty much left paying sales tax and buying nothing else of value. Which matched this transaction perfectly. She comes up with 8 boxes of cookies, and 8 coupons. They are all coupons to make the cookies free. The woman already looks irritated, so I figure I’ll take the opportunity for HC to break the news (for the record, we’re told to do that for damage control, if we think the guest is going to get belligerent).***
Me – Hey, HC? What was that coupon limit again? I think it was only coupons, or was it items…?
CL - *instant catbutt face*
Boy, was I right.
HC – Yeah, it’s for coupons. You can only get four of the same coupon.
CL – That’s ridiculous! Tell me where it says that!
HC - *yanks out one of our SupaSave ads and points to the back* Right here. It says that each store has the right to reserve their own limits regarding coupons and prices.
CL - *whinging, whining, etc* So you’re telling me, that if I was paying money for all these, you’d let me buy them?
HC – Yes.
CL – But you wouldn’t let me get them all with coupons?
HC – Yes. Let me talk to the manager. *gets a radio*
CL – Please do. *even bigger CBF* Actually, I’ll just split these up in two transactions, then!
Us - …We’re sorry, but the limit of the items is per day, not per transaction…
CL – *Blue screen of death* adsf;lkajfoiasdf;ljasd WHATHOWDAREYOUFOAMINGATMOUTHNAO
HC – … *uses radio* LM, a guest would like to see you up front. He’ll be here shortly. *walks off*
Summary: They’re slightly different products, only by variety, but she has a lot, so we call a middle ground, and go by exactly what the coupons says. Which is only 5 of the same like coupons. So she’d get five packs of cookies instead of eight. That’s not bad, that’s pretty much half, right? While she’s waiting, I go to suspend it so we can deal with it then, but she demands that I let her buy the five first so she can get the rest afterwards (well aren’t you the cocky one). So I’m ringing up guests. And she’s waiting. And waiting. And waiting. Just kidding! She was just sitting there fuming for five minutes while LM was running from the backroom to the front. She even shouts to HC, asking if he’s actually coming up. After a good mental head-banging, he walks up.
CL – Are you the person that I was waiting for?!
LM – Yes…How can I help you?
CL – About your coupon policy blablabla..This is ridiculous! If you won’t let me do it, I’ll just go right back into line! I’m sure your corporate wouldn’t be happy to hear about this if I call the Ethics Hotline!
*deadpan* Oh no, please don’t call and tell corporate that we used our power properly to stop you from using an excessive amount of coupons...I’m sure they’ll be heartbroken to hear that you couldn’t get three more packs of free cookies.
LM – We made the coupon limit. If you were to come into my line again, I would refuse the transaction based on the fact that you already met the limit. It has nothing to do with how many transactions you want it, or who checks you out, the limit is per day. We have the right to refuse it according to the rules.
CL – What if I did it at a later hour?!
LM – As long as it’s today, we would be unable to use those coupons again for you, ma’am.
CL – A;SDLFUJIASDFNJ;LASDFJ SHOWMEWHEREITSAYSTHAT
LM – According to our corporate policy we have the right to limit our coupon use.
CL – I want to see it!
LM – Ma’am, I am not obliged to show you, and I’d like you to leave.
CL – WHARGLEBLARGLEBAMBLOOZI! *leaves*
So there you have it! It’s a God-given right to use eight coupons instead of four or five.
***We like to make sure that people don't wipe out our stock just because of coupons. If they're gonna empty our shelves and buy it like they normally would, there's nothing to stop it. With a coupon limit, we prevent one type of lack of stock. Keep in mind we also have a limit for without coupons too, it's just not as limited. I follow the policy given, and that's it. That's my job, and I'm going to do it.***
It took me a couple months to get enough to post. Is that a good thing or a bad thing?
I have awesome customers most of the time (or I have the patience of a saint, I've heard both), but I'll try my best to bring the nasty ones up when I get 'em!
I have edited the original post to reflect this.
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