How do I deal with this guy?

[Quickdraw]

I was having a pretty good shift today, until this one guy I always see came to my line...I don't get it at all. He clearly doesn't like me, or how I bag the groceries, yet he ALWAYS comes to my lane.

When he's there, he barks orders at me like I'm a slave (Put 4 in a bag, double it!) and he's the type of guy where it feels like he'll kill you if you just look at him funny. Also, I live in Upstate NY, and this guy is probably from NYC, cause he has that smug, "I'm from the city, so I'm tougher and more real than you..." look on his face.

I don't know what to do the next time this guy shows up. I don't want to start anything, but I feel like sometimes he's trying to provoke me. Also, I'm white, and he's black, so I also don't want him to start accusing me of being a racist. I just don't like bullies, whatever their race may be.

Any tips on how to people with angry looking individuals like that? It really takes a big emotional toll on me.

[An Haddock]

I was having a pretty good shift today, until this one guy I always see came to my line...I don't get it at all. He clearly doesn't like me, or how I bag the groceries, yet he ALWAYS comes to my lane.

When he's there, he barks orders at me like I'm a slave (Put 4 in a bag, double it!) and he's the type of guy where it feels like he'll kill you if you just look at him funny. Also, I live in Upstate NY, and this guy is probably from NYC, cause he has that smug, "I'm from the city, so I'm tougher and more real than you..." look on his face.

I don't know what to do the next time this guy shows up. I don't want to start anything, but I feel like sometimes he's trying to provoke me. Also, I'm white, and he's black, so I also don't want him to start accusing me of being a racist. I just don't like bullies, whatever their race may be.

Any tips on how to people with angry looking individuals like that? It really takes a big emotional toll on me.

Smile at him the entire time. And the moment he starts acting snarky, start laughing at him.

[downforit2008]

He probably likes the fact that he can intimidate the employees and have singled you out in his way of trying to play the race card, which I hope to hell he doesn't because there's a LOT of questions involving a retail employee who was accused of "racism", even if it's just a worthless, untrue report.

Let's also hope that he isn't the kind of customer who comes in to insult a certain employee and then throws a hissy fit because that employee isn't scheduled to work that day. "I pay your salary! Call that person up and make them come in or I'll throw a huge fit!" Hasn't happened yet in my experience, but all of us by now know that there's no limit to how low a SC will sink.

Good look with this guy! Keep us posted!

[Pixilated]

Unfortunately that's about all you can do. Kill him with kindness and don't let him see he's getting to you. Smile sweetly the whole time. Even if he suspects you're mocking him, he can hardly go and complain that you're too polite (well, he can, but I doubt he'd get much except a lot of eye-rolling behind his back).

I was going to suggest talking to your supervisor, but there's not really a lot management can do in a situation with an obnoxious customer, other than offer advice.

Next time you see him in your line, try to imagine him with his underpants on his head.

[csquared]

Kill him with kindness. He picks on you because he knows he can get your goat. Smile. Be cheerful. And while you are doing it, know that it is pissing him off.

[emax4]

Actually, it's probably better to ask your supervisor's advice. What if someone here says, "Don't take that shit from that guy. Slam the items in a bag", then you do it and get written up?

[cashierbex]

I'm glad for my managers. I tell em anout a certain person thats bugged me multiple times and they say I ca refuse to service them and call the manager on duty.

[Ironclad Alibi]

If you have leeway on when you can take breaks, when you see him headed for your lane, go on a break. Return when he is gone.

As for getting management to deal with the situation, point out that the customer is creating a hostile workplace for you, and something needs to be done about it.

[PepperElf]

Actually, it's probably better to ask your supervisor's advice. What if someone here says, "Don't take that shit from that guy. Slam the items in a bag", then you do it and get written up?

This. It never hurts to have a manager coach you on how to deal with an asshole. They may give you advice on how to handle it... or may step in to protect you.


And of course, good manners. It's hard to get in trouble over failing to react to being abused. Rather, people like that WANT you to react so they can write complaints about you and get you in trouble.




And believe me I know how that feels. I use to have a coworker who did that... he'd spin me up just to get me to the breaking point. and once i crossed the line he took full pleasure in putting me in "my place".

when - on the advice of another coworker - i went to our supervisor instead... it was beautiful. from what i was told he went on a screaming rant about how I "had no right to do it to him"... until another supervisor started yelling at HIM and putting him in his place.

after that i really learned... not reacting sometimes gives you the best pwnage ever

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

One of my favourite sayings is: "No one can intimidate you unless you let them."

I say, stand your ground with the guy, be polite to him, but don't act like you're afraid of him. If something about him suggests that he may be dangerous, make up an excuse to pause the transaction and get a manager involved.

My guess is the guy is harmless. I remember when I worked at the sandwich shop, this huge scary looking biker dude came in one day and when I first saw him I was thinking "oh man this guy looks MEAN." As it turned out he was a pretty decent guy.

[Evandril]

I'd combine the advice, m'self...Go to your boss, let 'em know what's going on, and how you plan on killing him with kindness, but to be aware the situation exists. Gives you the backup that you might need, keeps them in the loop, but shows you're taking care of things yourself.

[emax4]

I'd combine the advice, m'self...Go to your boss, let 'em know what's going on, and how you plan on killing him with kindness, but to be aware the situation exists. Gives you the backup that you might need, keeps them in the loop, but shows you're taking care of things yourself.

That and the previous advise before that is great advice as well. Here's something else:

For one, ask your coworkers and see if they're aware of the guy's attitude as well. Perhaps complaints in volumes against one guy is more likely to get a manager to take your side. If one person complains and the manager isn't aware of this SC, the manager may be more likely to say, "I haven't heard any complaints about him from anyone else, so deal with it." But if the manager has either had complaints pile up about the SC over time, or a group of workers complains as one, then the manager may be more likely to take action (seeing that it's affecting a whole group). Getting the group together to complain as one tough.. THAT would be a challenge.

You can also simply walk away when he starts cussing at you; not to the next checkout lane but further away. If he starts complaining loud enough (more than likely when that happens), that would be a good time to get a manager and call that SC out in front of the manager. With any hopes, your mgr has a spine and can deal with him or perma-ban him. Whatever you do, don't let one guy jeopardize your job though.

You might also whisper to yourself "SERENITY NOW" repeatedly to help yourself smile or put yourself at ease, haha.

[dragon_wings]

When I had a customer harass me time and again for wearing my hair short and dying it pink (and just being a complete tomboy) I told at least 3 mangers. When I told my store manager she confronted him about how it wasn't cool be harass me. By that point he had made me cry at least once.
So, yeah, I agree giving management a heads up. They may be able to diffuse the situation next time he makes you uncomfortable.

[Seshat]

Firstly: most (not all, but most) people who are genuinely dangerous don't need to prove it. They're not going to be harassing a customer service rep at a supermarket.

Second: if you have any sort of security at your store, let them know about this guy, and ask for them to be watching when he comes to check out. This will give you some personal safety, which will help give you confidence.

Third: talk to management as well. Other folks have covered this one.

Fourth: someone who is getting his jollies by upsetting a cashier is really acting very childishly. Think about it - he's acting exactly like a little boy with a 'no gurlz aloud' sign on his cubbyhouse.
When he starts in on you, mentally go through cartoon and comic characters who would behave the same way. Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes? Beavis or Butthead? Daffy Duck?
Or maybe he's a male version of Hyacinth Bucket/Bouquet from 'Keeping Up Appearances', or someone from Seinfeld, or ... well, you get the idea.

He's pitiable and pathetic. There's a slight chance that he's also dangerous - that the traits that make him pathetic actually do go to the extreme point where it becomes dangerous. But almost all of these people are pathetic bullies who never left the school playground; and aren't actually dangerous at all.
(Note: if you see the signs of strong anger - such as trembling, clenched jaw, clenched fists, change of breathing pattern - get out of the situation and insist on security/management/the police handling him. Your personal safety comes first.)

So study his behaviour until you can mentally categorise him as 'a Calvin' or 'a male Hyacinth' or 'a Frasier' or whatever. Then when he comes into your line, your problem isn't going to be keeping calm - it's going to be not laughing in his face.