Is there a stupid bug going around?

[ominousoat]

I've had a wonderful lack of truly sucky customers today; however there seems to be a lot of stupidity going around, and I want to know who's responsible. Anyhow, here's some gems:


S[tupid]C: Could you have a tech check my connections?

Me: I'm not sure what you mean...

SC: Well, I heard about gas companies adding extra connections as a scam and I want them checked.

Me: Extra connections?

SC: You know, like extra pipes into the house.

Me: I'm not...I'm not understanding how that's a scam...

SC: So they can charge for the extra gas going into the house.


Oh yes! That scam! The ol' endanger your customer and future of your business by pumping natural gas into their house through an extra line just so your bills are a bit higher! Good thing you're on to us.


***

Me: Thank you for calling the emergency line, what is your natural GAS emergency.

SC: I don' got any power.

Me: So...there's no gas going into your house?

SC: Naw' I ain't got no power.

Me: Electrical power or gas power? We're your gas provider.

SC: ELECTRICITY!

Me: Then call your electricity provider.

SC: Y'all ain't my electric company?



And the last horse stumbles over the finish line several days later...

***

Sucky Landlord: I have a tenant that needs to start gas service at x address

Me: Um, okay it looks like they called and we can't do that until tommorrow.

SL: I know she did, but we need this done today.

Me: We can't do it today.

SL: Oh, okay...well I just called to see if it would be any different if *I* called.


It's actually a lottery system, if we draw your name out of a hat you get special privilages for the day.

***

SC: Why did I just get a disconnect call?

ME: Well, it wasn't a disconnect call, it was just warning that your gas could be scheduled for disconnect if your bill wasn't paid soon.

SC: I just figured I would wait until the next bill and pay them together, I'm a good customer and I'm never late, why are you treating me like a deadbeat?

Their pay history pretty much showed they've applied the "I'm not a deadbeat so I'll pay late" logic several times.

***

Me: Okay, your balance is x and it's due tommorrow (March 5th).

SC: Thanks! I'll send that on the 30th! *click*

Either this person is related to the above person, or she forgets that February is a stunted month. Either way, it seems pretty dumb.

***

And that's just the first four hours! I'll updated later if any others call.

[update: This isn't a stupid customer, more of a hideous wife:

This man had married a woman in November, she told him she'd completely take care of the bills. Well, it's March, and it turns out she never paid the bills once, pocketed all of the money, and skipped out on him just this month.

So...apparently she's been planning this since she married him, and now the poor guy is stuck with a 900 dollars gas bill. ]

[blas]

It's not a stupid "bug", because bugs like flus and colds go away. People like this.....it's in their DNA, and people like that seem to be extremely fertile as well.....so we're screwed.

You can cure the cold, you can't fix stupid.

[ominousoat]

People like this.....it's in their DNA, and people like that seem to be extremely fertile as well.....so we're screwed.

Ohhh, a stupid virus. One of those hideous viruses the self replicate using their host's DNA and then never go away.

[Pinkie]

I feel your pain!! My company provides both gas and electric, sometimes customers get both from us, other times they get one or the other (gotta love the Michigan Public service commission which decides these things!). Anyways, we're forever getting calls from customers that we provide gas to, to report that they are without electric service. I pull up the account and inform them that we are the gas provider. They proceed to argue with me, telling me they pay us each month and they ought to know who thier electric provider is.....(doh!) Anyways, I ask them if they also pay a bill from "other company" each month and almost always, they respond that yes they do, so then I gleefully get to tell them to call that company (and I even provide the phone number as I have it memorized by now). Sometimes they'll admit to thier stupidity, but most often they will hang up without even a thank you.......<sigh>

[BookstoreEscapee]

I've had a wonderful lack of truly sucky customers today; however there seems to be a lot of stupidity going around, and I want to know who's responsible. Anyhow, here's some gems:

Is that gems or germs?

To Mr./Ms. I'mNotADeadbeat: And don't you have to be pretty darn late before they start threatening to cut you off?

[ominousoat]

(gotta love the Michigan Public service commission which decides these things!).

Actually I love them very much, they create an excellent scapegoat.

note: "THE MICHIGAN PUBLIC SERVICE COMMISSION" is said with a sense of awe.

SC: My bills are so high!
Me: They're set at the price that we and "THE MICHIGAN PUBLIC SERVICE COMMISSION" agreed upon.

or

SC: This IS! An emergency.
Me: I'm sorry, according to "THE MICHIGAN PUBLIC SERVICE COMMISSION" it's not defined as such.

[ominousoat]

To Mr./Ms. I'mNotADeadbeat: And don't you have to be pretty darn late before they start threatening to cut you off?

Actually we have an insanly vigilant collections process...I'm not in total agreement, but shhhh don't tell.

[ominousoat]

Sure enough, the stupid virus has attacked again:

Me: Thank you for calling...blah...blah...blah.

SC: Did you receive my payment? We got a shut off notice today.

Me, after getting account information: No, when did you send it?

SC: Two days ago!

Me: It has to go to Texas...and you sent it on Friday, and you expect it to arrive on Sunday? I'm sorry, but no, it has not arrived.

SC: Well are we going to get shut off?

Me: Well, if it's in the mail, I can make a note it's coming. But, you only sent [50% of three month old bill] and we're going to need [100% of three month old bill].

SC, yelling at husband: They say they're still gonna' shut us off even though we sent [50% of bill]!

SC's husband: WTF!

Me: I'm sorry ma'am, but the bill was due well over 30 days ago.

SC: Well I'm going to keep paying [x] dollars every other week, okay?

Me: Well...your latest bill was [three times x] that won't work. I'll have to set arrangements

SC: WELL LET'S SET EM' UP!

Nothing is worse than a customer being rude about us being lenient. Anyhow, long story short, she got her payment terms; however, she's going to have a hell of a time in the real world if she doesn't understand things like due dates and "you have to pay in full to avoid consequences".

And to make it worse she had such a high, grating voice, I had to turn my volume down three notches.

[Reyneth]

[update: This isn't a stupid customer, more of a hideous wife:

This man had married a woman in November, she told him she'd completely take care of the bills. Well, it's March, and it turns out she never paid the bills once, pocketed all of the money, and skipped out on him just this month.

So...apparently she's been planning this since she married him, and now the poor guy is stuck with a 900 dollars gas bill. ]

HOLY *bleep* was this in Cleveland? That JUST happened to my friend's best friend! They had technically been married for a year, but just had the church wedding in Nov and.........she took off right before Valentine's Day (with all of his furnature) and hadn't paid bills for months.

[ominousoat]

HOLY *bleep* was this in Cleveland? That JUST happened to my friend's best friend! They had technically been married for a year, but just had the church wedding in Nov and.........she took off right before Valentine's Day (with all of his furnature) and hadn't paid bills for months.

Nope, I'm not at liberty to say where it happened, but not in Cleveland. However, it's actually a common occurance, I've seen it happen two other times here, and then I had a fellow employee tell me she had it happen to her with her ex.

[FenigDurak]

To discuss the phenomenon of stupidity being highly fertile, I suggest this movie: Idiocracy.

[ArenaBoy]

Sadly, I think that's going to happen eventually. Stupidity always seems to breed no matter what you do. On a side note, I've noticed that there always seems to be a spike in stupidity at one point then it goes down, repeat cycle.

[AFpheonix]

So are we saying that stupidity is like shingles, in that a lot of stupid viruses circulating in one's system can cause a painful, ugly attack of stupid?


Yeah, sounds about right.....

[BookstoreEscapee]

So are we saying that stupidity is like shingles, in that a lot of stupid viruses circulating in one's system can cause a painful, ugly attack of stupid?


Yeah, sounds about right.....

So will the chicken pox vaccine help, then?

[Kilamon]

Nope, I'm not at liberty to say where it happened, but not in Cleveland. However, it's actually a common occurance, I've seen it happen two other times here, and then I had a fellow employee tell me she had it happen to her with her ex.

My father's first wife, the one he NEVER spoke of (very literally took it to the grave) did this to him. We found out from his sister just before the funeral. Apparently, she married him, moved in and when he went on WestPac (Navy tour of the pacific for 3-6 months), she moved out with everything. Not a scrap left. My mom (his 3rd wife) didn't even know this. He had the first marriage annulled. It's a little funny and sad at the same time. Funny because he never, ever, EVER discussed it. No one even knows her name.