I've had my fill of them today; you know the type; they ask a question, don't listen to the answer because it doesn't fit with their version of reality, & refuse to acknowledge correction.
Normally it's something simple, like "is this my train?" Setting aside the obvious sarcastic answer, 9 times out of 10 the train now in the station is not the one that Curious George needs to catch, and yet they'll still end up sprinting off... And of course, if they do manage to get on this train & then find their way back later (mercifully few manage this) it's MY fault they nearly killed themselves & then ended up arriving late because they ended up travelling 10 miles in the opposite direction before realising their own stupidity.
Another related classic is "which platform is it?" We have just 2 platforms, and to keep things as idiot-proof as possible I tend to answer "this side" and "the far side" as to me this is the most basic way of differentiating where to go; platform numbering does usually follow a basic rule but we're ass-backwards here for historical reasons, & I don't expect anyone who doesn't work on the railways to even know there is a rule, let alone how to apply it. I even tend to point* in the appropriate direction... I can't begin to count how many people get confused by this.
*Customers are surprisingly like dogs, except when you really want them to be - if you're pointing at something in front of their faces, they'll follow the direction of your finger clear across the room, yet when you want them to look over there they stare directly at your fingertip... Oh, and none of them understand the command "put it down!"
One of today's best examples of failing to listen was when someone asked me for a travelcard - that is, an all-access ticket to cover a specific area - for a smaller than usual area and just a single day. Now if you're travelling for a week, month, or even a year, then you can get this specific with your ticket's coverage - there's over 20 different combinations to choose from - but if you're only going to use it for one day then there's just 3 price brackets. When I first informed them their ticket wasn't available because it didn't exist, they asked for it again. I assumed they couldn't hear me (the mics here play up a lot) so I repeated myself louder. This time there was a slight flicker, but they still tried to ask for the same thing just with a slight rephrasing of the question. This time I picked up a pen & paper, and started writing it up as obviously there's some major failure in vocal communication going on. "Oh, I heard you; I just thought maybe you could work something out..."
But just now, while writing this up I had the winner for this week, if not the whole month. SuperMoron had bought the wrong ticket three days ago and wondered if I could change it. Now if it was a physical ticket then I could, for a fee, organise an exchange. If it's an e-ticket then you didn't buy it from us and we have no way to affect any amendments; there's even a full disclaimer on all the websites that sell them stating they're no-changeable, non-refundable, etc. "I'm sorry, I cannot do anything to change your ticket" apparently isn't unambiguous enough, and this gentleman I've never seen before & likely never will again (tourist but with flawless english, 1-way ticket) all but drops to his knees & begs me to do him a favour as a friend (almost a direct quote!)... "I'm sorry but I just do not have the capability; it's not that I don't wish to help, but that I am powerless to help." This managed to touch off the right nerve impulses for him to realise that "no" really did mean "no", and he slunk off ne'er to be seen again.
Normally it's something simple, like "is this my train?" Setting aside the obvious sarcastic answer, 9 times out of 10 the train now in the station is not the one that Curious George needs to catch, and yet they'll still end up sprinting off... And of course, if they do manage to get on this train & then find their way back later (mercifully few manage this) it's MY fault they nearly killed themselves & then ended up arriving late because they ended up travelling 10 miles in the opposite direction before realising their own stupidity.
Another related classic is "which platform is it?" We have just 2 platforms, and to keep things as idiot-proof as possible I tend to answer "this side" and "the far side" as to me this is the most basic way of differentiating where to go; platform numbering does usually follow a basic rule but we're ass-backwards here for historical reasons, & I don't expect anyone who doesn't work on the railways to even know there is a rule, let alone how to apply it. I even tend to point* in the appropriate direction... I can't begin to count how many people get confused by this.
*Customers are surprisingly like dogs, except when you really want them to be - if you're pointing at something in front of their faces, they'll follow the direction of your finger clear across the room, yet when you want them to look over there they stare directly at your fingertip... Oh, and none of them understand the command "put it down!"
One of today's best examples of failing to listen was when someone asked me for a travelcard - that is, an all-access ticket to cover a specific area - for a smaller than usual area and just a single day. Now if you're travelling for a week, month, or even a year, then you can get this specific with your ticket's coverage - there's over 20 different combinations to choose from - but if you're only going to use it for one day then there's just 3 price brackets. When I first informed them their ticket wasn't available because it didn't exist, they asked for it again. I assumed they couldn't hear me (the mics here play up a lot) so I repeated myself louder. This time there was a slight flicker, but they still tried to ask for the same thing just with a slight rephrasing of the question. This time I picked up a pen & paper, and started writing it up as obviously there's some major failure in vocal communication going on. "Oh, I heard you; I just thought maybe you could work something out..."
But just now, while writing this up I had the winner for this week, if not the whole month. SuperMoron had bought the wrong ticket three days ago and wondered if I could change it. Now if it was a physical ticket then I could, for a fee, organise an exchange. If it's an e-ticket then you didn't buy it from us and we have no way to affect any amendments; there's even a full disclaimer on all the websites that sell them stating they're no-changeable, non-refundable, etc. "I'm sorry, I cannot do anything to change your ticket" apparently isn't unambiguous enough, and this gentleman I've never seen before & likely never will again (tourist but with flawless english, 1-way ticket) all but drops to his knees & begs me to do him a favour as a friend (almost a direct quote!)... "I'm sorry but I just do not have the capability; it's not that I don't wish to help, but that I am powerless to help." This managed to touch off the right nerve impulses for him to realise that "no" really did mean "no", and he slunk off ne'er to be seen again.
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