Stinky customers

[Lace Neil Singer]

Not making this thread to be mean, just wondered what's the worst smell you've ever encountered in a customer? For me, it would be the crazy old lady who used to come in the garden centre to buy cat food; she stank of wee and I used to feel physically ill after serving her. Plus there's all the BO ridden customers, and the ones who seem as tho they bathe in liquid tabacco.

[BigPete]

I've had one rip Arse in my ticket office.


He didn't even excuse himself.

[Rubystars]

.

Well as I mentioned in another thread, I don't have a very good sense of smell. Unless someone smells really awful, I won't notice it.

When I worked at Target as a seasonal employee, there was a woman who I saw walking toward my register, and a man following her several feet behind.

I wondered why he was standing so far away from her. Then when she came up to my register, the smell hit me like a ton of bricks! She smelled like a used maxi pad and a filthy bathroom mixed together. To top it off, she raised up her shirt, and scratched her belly.

I realized now why the man with her wouldn't walk next to her.

I was really glad I'd brought some vanilla perfume with me to work and I sprayed the area around the register with it as soon as she was gone! I didn't want anyone to think that smell was coming off me. The next customer coming up saw me spraying and I told him "I'm sorry, the customer before you smelled really bad."

[Lace Neil Singer]

I wish I didn't have such a good sense of smell sometimes.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

I've had one rip Arse in my ticket office.


He didn't even excuse himself.

I was in Target one time, and a woman walking down the aisle in front of me ripped a big, juicy fart right in front of me.

To be fair, she did excuse herself.

I ducked down another aisle so she wouldn't see me giggling like a schoolgirl.

[blas]

I was doing a "store sweep" (where we took the gigantic broom and swept up and down every aisle in the grocery store and all over every department) one Sunday......you can see where this is going...

About the time when the church crowds started taking over the grocery store....

I'm sweeping behind this old couple in the chip/soda aisle. I must have been really quiet, because they had no clue I was around, and the lady lifted up her leg and ripped a fart that sounded almost like a trumpet solo..........

I immediately covered my mouth and froze in place. I thought I was going to have a seizure because I couldn't stop myself from shaking and wanting to laugh, but I had to keep quiet (and "invisible") until they went to the next aisle.

[Jack T. Chance]

At my most recent job (which I lost about a week ago) at an outlet shoe store, we'd occasionally have customers... grown adults, mind you... come in smelling like a kid's diaper that was full of poo!!!

Luckily, we usually had a can of Febreze air freshener in the back room (with a nice, minty fragrance... I was the one that bought the air freshener! ), so on a few occasions, I had to walk down an aisle, spraying that behind me to get rid of the smell. I swear, some of these people shat themselves and just kept on shopping!

I only wish I'd had a nice big package of Oops! I Crapped My Pants! Undergarments to give them as a not-so-subtle hint!

[XCashier]

Not making this thread to be mean, just wondered what's the worst smell you've ever encountered in a customer?

Okay, you asked for it. I shall now attempt to describe the worst-smelling customer I have ever encountered. Those of you who are faint-of-stomach, consider yourself warned.

I was working at the Novelty Store in the Run-Down Mall. One evening, right before closing, this huge guy with filthy clothes and greasy hair came into the store, walked around for a bit, and left. He smelled so awful the stench lingered for an hour after he left.

How bad did he smell? Picture this: imagine a butcher shop, abandoned at the beginning of an extremely hot summer, electricity shut off, meat still hanging off the hooks. Now go back six months later and take a deep breath of the place. He smelled even worse than that!!!

Honestly, how do people not know they reek?! If you can lube your car by rubbing your head against the engine block, if birds and insects fall to the ground dead when you walk past (Why do birds fall out of the sky / Every time you walk by / Just like me, they want to be / Far from you)* , if a phrase you hear several times a day is "Holy s***, what IS that smell?!" then take a bath already! With deodorant soap and shampoo! And brush your teeth while you're at it (yes, you have to use toothpaste!)

*with apologies to The Carpenters

[kerrisan]

Oh, I've got a doozy.

It was bout 9 at night and the store was pretty quiet. Suddenly I'm hit with a wave of something disgusting; it smelled like roadkill. Seriously. I wave it off but it comes back 10X as strong when a homely-looking gentleman with a few cans of air freshener comes to my line. My eye start watering and I can hardly breathe. I put two and two together and realize why the smell reminds me of roadkill: it's the smell you smell when a certain black animal with a white stripe down its back has been hit by a car.

You guessed it: the man has been sprayed by a skunk!

He doesn't look too pleased, so I just say nothing and ring him up. Finally he says, "I think there's a skunk under my deck." I'm thinking 'no sh*t Sherlock!' but I want to make polite conversation so I say "oh, that's no good." So he continues with "I think he got me, too. You can't smell it, can you?" Well I don't want to lie but I also want to hurt his feeling so I say "oh, it's not that bad." He continues with, "I don't think I'll be able to get this smell out, either. I've tried everything!" And I, in all my idiocy, respond with:

"Oh, that stinks."

Argh. I hope he didn't catch that. Well, after he left we had to shut down my line and the two before and after it. And everybody -employees and customers- was complaining about the smell. Horrible. I'm not angry at the guy, but I just wish he's sprayed himself with cologne or something to at least TRY to hide the stench!

[LostMyMind]

Finally he says, "I think there's a skunk under my deck." I'm thinking 'no sh*t Sherlock!' but I want to make polite conversation so I say "oh, that's no good." So he continues with "I think he got me, too. You can't smell it, can you?"

Once you get hit by a skunk spray, the first 10 mins or so you smell it. After that, your nose shut-down. It was probably a faint smell to him by that time.

But man, how did he get in the store without someone noticing is my question? Gee, that one reason I'll do personal shopping for someone, "You get spray by a skunk. I'll get the stuff for you, stay right there, outside." Aisles should have been emptying, customers running for fresh air, dog yelping...

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Had a guy that chain smoked. I'm sure he was not my only chain smoking customer, but picture the funk of a thousand dirty ashtrays in a bar somewhere, that never got washed. Now picture them damp.

The guy had grey skin. Frankly, I'm not sure how he could be alive. Surely his lungs stopped functioning years ago.

I am not exaggerating when I say he made my eyes water and my sinus close up. Seriously, the funk could stop your breath in your throat.

[Imogene]

The guy had grey skin. Frankly, I'm not sure how he could be alive. Surely his lungs stopped functioning years ago.

Big, shiny black eyes?
Holy crap, Kinkoid, you've been visited by the Greys!
*looks around for the men in black*

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Don't think that hadn't occured to me!

[Tria]

I'm not angry at the guy, but I just wish he's sprayed himself with cologne or something to at least TRY to hide the stench!

Glad you're not angry, I mean....Well, I personally LIKE skunky smell but it does stick with you. Granted, um, the one time I got close to a skunk, I backed up quick, I may like the smell but I'm in the minority.

[Mighty Girl]

I'm a SAHM now, which has taken me a lot of time to get used to. I've worked from age 17 until 32 when my daughter was born.

One of the biggest changes in my life is that I'm at the store at the same time as all the retired people- who apparently can't smell to save their life. I don't know how many times I've walked through a cloud of a severe stench- a mixture of body odor, bengay and who knows what else. It takes all I've got to not just hurl right there. And now my daughter is talking!

In case you didn't know, kids don't hold back. She'll say "Mommy he's stinky", and then proceed to ask me why he's stinky, who is he, etc. One part of me agrees and is proud that she's forming sentences, the other part of me wants to disappear into the earth...

Edited to add: something to consider, some people are stinky on purpose. A lot of people at my old jobs would totally intrude on my space, so I'd make sure to eat something with onions and garlic for lunch sometimes just to keep them away.