The Delusion is Strong in this One

[Seraph]

This is finally over, so I can post it now.


Last week, I got a request for a quote on a custom game, no other details than that. I replied asking for more details, and their budget for the project, so that I can get the quote from the coding team who I work with on games. Oh my word:

Hi, I'd like to order a custom treasure hunting game. Members should be able to find treasure and have it add stuff to their account, like finding gems and stuff. Some voiceover work would be nice, to have various narrting going on. Maybe have some cool chcracters they can choose between, and have dangers and obstacles that they should avoid, that will take stuff from their account. maps need to be random, with stuff never in the same place, so people can't just memorize it.

Members should be able to do 'multiplayer' and play with others for more points, or choose singleplayer and do it by themselves. I do not know how much custom apps cost, so please, keep this in the $100 range.

You're kidding, right? Apparently, he is not! I forwarded it to the company who I work with on these projects, and THEY even laughed about it. Their reply:

Hi xxxx,

Unfortunately your budget would not even come close to covering the project. The scope of this project you are describing would have a minimum cost of $3,000, at the very least.

This wasn't good enough for the prospective client, who promptly emails me again, stating that he will be generous enough to "double the budget to $200, which is more than sufficient."

Oh my god, I'm literally in tears at this point from laughing. Seriously. Hard time breathing and everything.

I told him no, sorry, but that he really needs to understand just what he's asking for, and that he is more than welcome to come back later when he has raised the funds.

Nope. Not good enough:

what if I came up with a simpler idea, let me explain

What I want is an \'Taskmaster Race\' app where members race against each other to complete various task. the person who completes the most task in certain time frame wins the top prize. Want it to be like an olypic race where you have first place, second place and 3rd place winner.

Here is how it would work. members would race against each other to see who can complete the most task (well complete a certain amount of task the fastest- this should include referring members, posting in the forum, completing offers, and probably purchase an upgrade, i will be able to specify what), the person who wins the race gets a gold medal, second-silver and 3rd bronze.

At the end of every quarter the person who wins the most race gets a gold trophy, second place- silver, 3rd- bronze. First place winner for the quarter will be grown king, others prince and princess. could have others (if I wish) who could be dukes or something. Cash prize will be attach to each awards. Beside members name you would see a trophy and grown etc

Please don\'t tell it will cost some thousands. just need something simple don\'t have to be toooooooooo fancy

My budget for this is $200 and under, please keep it very small

....That's.....simpler? I again forward this to the other company, who about dies laughing, and quotes him a min of $3,500.

The dude EXPLODES.

He sends me an email raging that he doesn't want to talk to the other guy, who "just lies about money", and that he wants quotes from only ME, and that I need to be the ONLY ONE who works on it.

I point out to him the first email, where I told him that I cannot code this sort of thing, but that I work with the other company for this stuff. So, their cost is unavoidable. Flat out.

He promptly tells me that he will not do that at all, it has to be stuff that only I work on. WTF, did you not see what I just said? I CAN'T DO THIS SORT OF THING. And then sends me a list of FIVE games, demanding a detailed, concrete estimate, "no guessing or generalizing", on each and every one.

I told him, sorry, you have to realize that I have OTHER CUSTOMERS, and I cannot sit and take hours out of my day to constantly quote you on stuff. But that if you'd like to hire me for consultation work, I'd be more than glad to assist.

Apparently, bad answer.

no you don't understand, it is very easy to do these kind of games. i want a quote now on a game like this <link> it is very easy as you can see, they only charge $5.

I reply, telling him this is the final time I will respond to inquiries about games, until he comes back with an actual budget we can work with. I point out how they are a mass marketing site with the game, and that they can easily sell it for a low price because its a repeated sale. He wants a custom one, so it'd be a one-time sale. Secondly, their game is quite easily hackable, and the ones that we develop, are MUCH more secure. If he's willing to gamble with his money though, then go for it, and buy theirs.

ok i understand. give me a quote for a game where they can set a daily task, and it updates so they can compete with other members. and it needs to have a step system, so that they have to complete each step in order to unlock a special prize that is applied to their account.

At this point....screw it. I blocked him, and I've gotten a few emails since, from new, obviously trash Yahoo addresses that are just him failing to disguise who he is, fishing for a quote.

How can I tell its him?

Every single one of them includes the helpful phrase "my budget is 200, you cannot go over."

[houdini]

How can I tell its him?

Every single one of them includes the helpful phrase "my budget is 200, you cannot go over."

My dear Sherlock, your deductive reasoning is sublime! You have once again cut through the morass of false trails and tangled story with your ever-dynamic and forceful intellect! The mystery of the $200 budget is solved, and the suspect is...well, a complete idiot, really.

I love the fact he's still asking you, despite the beat-downs.

[Seraph]

My dear Sherlock, your deductive reasoning is sublime!

Why it's elementary, my dear Watson!

[RealUnimportant]

He didn't offer to cut you in on the profits, because this will be bigger than <whoever leads in this field> and you'll be getting all kinds of good exposure?

[thehuckster]

no you don't understand, it is very easy to do these kind of games. i want a quote now on a game like this <link> it is very easy as you can see, they only charge $5.

Let me guess, this link was to a game that was offered to the general population for $5 for each user? He doesn't understand that when you develop a custom game for a sole client, the cost goes waaaay up? I'm surprised he didn't try to say something like, "Portal 2 was a ton more complex than this and they charged only $60 for the game on PS3!"

[manybellsdown]

Game industry programmers around these parts make $80,000 or more a year. $200 isn't even a week's worth of salary for one.

[emax4]

I understand that the coding alone by a team of people would be over his budget, but as a joke it would be funny to give him a preview of simple squares used as individual sprites in his game. It would appear to be 4-bit or 8-bit that nobody in their right mind with the current graphics out there would WANT to play the game, based on the horrible graphics. Almost like a game for a pre-Atari 2600 console.

[AngloSaxonViking]

Possible reply:

"To get this game written for $200, you will have to write it yourself. Begin by learning Python. Try writing a simple game, or better, take someone else's game and understand it well enough to tweak it. Here's a Space Invaders game written in Python http://www.pygame.org/project/965/?relea…

Note: you'll need to download and install Python and PyGame (both small, and both free)."

[DGoddessChardonnay]

I have to admit, I almost fell out of my chair laughing. He doesn't want a custom game . . . he wants Santa Claus.

You sure do get some "special" ones, don't you?

[Jay 2K Winger]

Seraph does get a lot of "special" customers.

Fortunately, she often has a nice tall glass of PWNADE(tm) to serve them.

[raudf]

Good grief. You were just quoting the price of the CODE! Would his $200 have covered the graphics required for something of this... whatever it is?

[Juggler]

Just send him a port of Nethack.

[Sheldonrs]

He probably uses the same pitch and budget demands for hookers.

[Seraph]

Seraph does get a lot of "special" customers.

Fortunately, she often has a nice tall glass of PWNADE(tm) to serve them.

I blame it on seven years of these same shenanigans year after YEAR, and just now starting to realize that I can do this sort of thing, LOL.

Good grief. You were just quoting the price of the CODE! Would his $200 have covered the graphics required for something of this... whatever it is?

...heck no, LOL. Although, I was waiting to spring that on him, but never got around to it, LOL.

[BroSCFischer]

Not to mention the VOICE OVERS he wanted in the first game. I think an actors fee would run about $200. That's for 1 actor and he was talking multiple.

Seraph, my guess for the first game would be a total cost of $5-6,000 (depending on talent hired, graphics used, etc.) and ~$5000 for the second (since IIRC no VOs were requested for that one, but the code was more complex). Am I too high, in the ballpark, or too low?

SC