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This is a tale of an SC sowing what they reaped.
It was the final year that I worked at the Haunt. I must say that I miss the people and the customers once they were out of my parking lot, but within the lot? Not so much.
Our lot had 3 areas, set up like a Z with the middle part being elongated. the back part was to the rear of the building and was for mid sized vehicles and smaller only.
The night was clear and crisp, our lot was well lit, and we were slowing down a bit, so I told my back lot guy that he could take a break, when I hear the screech of "You! I need to talk to you!!"
I turn, and lo, but I do behold that most hated of hicks, the Wanna Be Hick (AKA the Urban Cowboy) who dress in a cross of what they believe to be hip hop and flannel. This 19 year old cowpoke was driving a 2 1/2 ton 4 door pickup, one of the doors of which had a DEEP elongated dent approx an inch deep running the length of the door.
Part the first: Just the facts, friend
"I was trying to get out of this lot when one of your guys told my to go through that tiny back lot and when I was being directed he ran my truck into the rear end of this little pickup! Look at this door! Who's gonna pay for this!!"
Having run the lot for many a moon, I had one of my minions take point and called for the head of security as well as a police presence.
Clue one that not all was as it seemed when our Slim Shady/Howdy Doody crossbreed got a little fidgety at the police being called.
Big J, the Awesome Head of Security (I want to be him when I grow up) came out, and the following story was relayed to Big J (but not until after I had a private pow wow with him and gave the original story...
Part the second: Who IS going to pay for this?
"I was trying to get out of this lot when one of your guys told me to go through that tiny back lot and then he left and my truck scraped the rear end of this little pickup!!! i want to know WHO is going to pay for this!?"
Big J kept his cool, and continued talking with our little country meatball while I ran and got a statement from my back lot guy who....had gone on his dinner break?
Wait a minute here....did one of my guys inability to call in when he was leaving his post actually work in our FAVOR?
It would appear so, as we prepare for our crescendo of stupidity as the police arrives (there were usually a few cruisers in the area due to an agreement with the haunts owner due to incidents with neighborhood jackasses, drunk high school and college kids, and employees of other haunts - employees who were FORMER due to the owners not wanting that ass hattery associated with them. I love professionalism in business owners)
Part the third: THAT's who's gonna pay for this!
You see where this is going, I hope.
Schadenfreude is such a lovely word, at times I love it more than rum.
The officer arrived on scene, asked to speak with me first. I relayed Howdy Durpas statement as well as my back lot guys statement and corroborating statements from the green room manager that he was, indeed eating dinner and getting warm. I gave him hell for not telling me, but that was it.
The officer then interviewed the customer while asking me to stay available since I was the outside security head. Big J had left with a grin on his face, when I hear the following from the officer (Quite forcefully, it would appear that he was tired of Mister Potato Brains whining as well) “So, even though you admit that you saw how small this space was, you decided not to wait for security or to even ask the security agent that was clearly visible at the street (Redbeard note – It was ME!all 300 pounds of me. In a kilt. Waiving the big flashlights with the orange cone toppers) you THEN ran into this other truck and tried to lie about how the collision happened in an attempt to have the Haunt pay for the damages that YOU caused?
Big J has said that he’s not going to press charges for attempted fraud. You want to know who is going to pay for the damage to your…excuse me? Oh, to your FATHERS truck? You are. Now leave this property.”
If I were wearing pants I would have had to change them.
It was the final year that I worked at the Haunt. I must say that I miss the people and the customers once they were out of my parking lot, but within the lot? Not so much.
Our lot had 3 areas, set up like a Z with the middle part being elongated. the back part was to the rear of the building and was for mid sized vehicles and smaller only.
The night was clear and crisp, our lot was well lit, and we were slowing down a bit, so I told my back lot guy that he could take a break, when I hear the screech of "You! I need to talk to you!!"
I turn, and lo, but I do behold that most hated of hicks, the Wanna Be Hick (AKA the Urban Cowboy) who dress in a cross of what they believe to be hip hop and flannel. This 19 year old cowpoke was driving a 2 1/2 ton 4 door pickup, one of the doors of which had a DEEP elongated dent approx an inch deep running the length of the door.
Part the first: Just the facts, friend
"I was trying to get out of this lot when one of your guys told my to go through that tiny back lot and when I was being directed he ran my truck into the rear end of this little pickup! Look at this door! Who's gonna pay for this!!"
Having run the lot for many a moon, I had one of my minions take point and called for the head of security as well as a police presence.
Clue one that not all was as it seemed when our Slim Shady/Howdy Doody crossbreed got a little fidgety at the police being called.
Big J, the Awesome Head of Security (I want to be him when I grow up) came out, and the following story was relayed to Big J (but not until after I had a private pow wow with him and gave the original story...
Part the second: Who IS going to pay for this?
"I was trying to get out of this lot when one of your guys told me to go through that tiny back lot and then he left and my truck scraped the rear end of this little pickup!!! i want to know WHO is going to pay for this!?"
Big J kept his cool, and continued talking with our little country meatball while I ran and got a statement from my back lot guy who....had gone on his dinner break?
Wait a minute here....did one of my guys inability to call in when he was leaving his post actually work in our FAVOR?
It would appear so, as we prepare for our crescendo of stupidity as the police arrives (there were usually a few cruisers in the area due to an agreement with the haunts owner due to incidents with neighborhood jackasses, drunk high school and college kids, and employees of other haunts - employees who were FORMER due to the owners not wanting that ass hattery associated with them. I love professionalism in business owners)
Part the third: THAT's who's gonna pay for this!
You see where this is going, I hope.
Schadenfreude is such a lovely word, at times I love it more than rum.
The officer arrived on scene, asked to speak with me first. I relayed Howdy Durpas statement as well as my back lot guys statement and corroborating statements from the green room manager that he was, indeed eating dinner and getting warm. I gave him hell for not telling me, but that was it.
The officer then interviewed the customer while asking me to stay available since I was the outside security head. Big J had left with a grin on his face, when I hear the following from the officer (Quite forcefully, it would appear that he was tired of Mister Potato Brains whining as well) “So, even though you admit that you saw how small this space was, you decided not to wait for security or to even ask the security agent that was clearly visible at the street (Redbeard note – It was ME!all 300 pounds of me. In a kilt. Waiving the big flashlights with the orange cone toppers) you THEN ran into this other truck and tried to lie about how the collision happened in an attempt to have the Haunt pay for the damages that YOU caused?
Big J has said that he’s not going to press charges for attempted fraud. You want to know who is going to pay for the damage to your…excuse me? Oh, to your FATHERS truck? You are. Now leave this property.”
If I were wearing pants I would have had to change them.
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