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Yeah yeah, it isn't the first Wednesday of the month, last Wednesday was, but corporate didn't feel like stacking 15% senior discounts on top of our Super Duper Uber Mega Super Stupendous Lowest Prices of the Season. So it's today instead.
Irv Tries To Ship Something UPS: Hilarity Does Not Ensue
Receiving clerk calls in sick this morning, so I have to cover for her. No biggie; our truck was small and arrived early in the morning yesterday so we just have a few things to fill and then do all the backstocking. Even with one of the freight people leaving early due to girly problems leaving her feeling like a cow's kicking her in the back repeatedly, we still get done quite early.
Optical calls me to let me know they've dropped off a package to be sent out to the optical lab. No biggie; just log into the computer, go to the UPS website, log in with our account password, select an address from a list of commonly-shipped-to addresses or enter one by hand, enter weight of the package, and print the shipping confirmation and label. Piece of cake.
Except I cannot log on to the computer because my password had expired. Last time I had used it was two weeks ago, and it popped up a notice saying it would expire in two weeks. Receiving clerk must have changed it herself, but did not tell me the new password. So, I have to call her at home to get it.
I call her house, she sounds like she's just been hit by a truck, she gives me the password. And I can't tell if ti works or not right away because my stupid ass entered in every password it could think of, and got locked out of the computer. So back upstairs to resume backstocking.
Half an hour later, I try the new password. It works. I pull up UPS and enter in all the necessary information....
...and can't get my shipping confirmation or label to print because the computer is being special and prompting me to select a printer, but not recognizing any printer I select to print from. Call receiving clerk at home again. She advises me to call the help desk, conveniently located in India.
"Due to the earthquake and tsunami warning in India this morning, we are at minimal staff. Please expect long hold times and stay on the line only for critical issues...."
Awesome. Help desk will obviously be a no-go today, and I hang up the phone because:
- My issue really is not critical,
- I'm not going to tie up the line, or be that guy who curses out the poor phone drone over a long hold time, when for all I know he's floating out the ocean someplace, and
-I don't have time to sit on hold anyway.
I end up having to go upstairs and commandeer pricing's computer and printer. It took me over an hour to prepare one package for shipping, and I finished just as the UPS truck pulled in.
Litterbox on wheels
We had three people working the salesfloor today, but management wanted them all working on their endstands, which changed en masse after LPS ended. So we truck people were requested to handle all the carryouts today. Again, no biggie due to how far we got on the truck.
I get called to carry out a patio swing. The customer rolls up in a garbage-strewn SUV reeking of cat piss.
And of course the swing doesn't go in the vehicle nicely, due to all the garbage that's inside. Customer helpfully suggests I go inside and guide the swing between the front seats as she pushes from the outside. But just then I manage to get the swing swung over so it is resting in between the front seats and the hatch can close. Good. I wasn't looking forward to explaining that I didn't want to crawl inside because I didn't feel like smelling like a urinal for the rest of the day.
Sad thing is, it wasn't an older SUV. It was a newer Toyota. That thing has to be spending all its time in the intensive care unit of the Horny Spraying Male Cat Clinic.
This is verbatim, and it hurts me to type it:
Customer riding around the store in one of our motorized shopping carts and bellowing into a cell phone: I can't find anything in here! They have to stop moving things around all the time! It confuse-ed me. (emphasis on the "ed") The layout of the store confus-ed me (emphasis on the "ed" again)
Oh snap, how did you found-ed out our secret! We like to move-ed things around because it will confuse-ed you. Then you will need-ed to pass-ed by many other items in the store, and you will lose-ed control and bought-ed cartfuls of stuff you don't need-ed. Please don't alert-ed the media. If the found-ed out, we would have to kill-ded you.
Now if you will excuse-ed me, my beer, it call-ed to me.
BTW, to anybody keeping score, I did not walk into any farts today, but my co-worked did, and to hear him describe it it was not a fart so much as it was a felony. Also there was a suspicious brown substance on the floor outside laundry detergent. If anybody asks me I'm saying I assumed it was mud.
Irv Tries To Ship Something UPS: Hilarity Does Not Ensue
Receiving clerk calls in sick this morning, so I have to cover for her. No biggie; our truck was small and arrived early in the morning yesterday so we just have a few things to fill and then do all the backstocking. Even with one of the freight people leaving early due to girly problems leaving her feeling like a cow's kicking her in the back repeatedly, we still get done quite early.
Optical calls me to let me know they've dropped off a package to be sent out to the optical lab. No biggie; just log into the computer, go to the UPS website, log in with our account password, select an address from a list of commonly-shipped-to addresses or enter one by hand, enter weight of the package, and print the shipping confirmation and label. Piece of cake.
Except I cannot log on to the computer because my password had expired. Last time I had used it was two weeks ago, and it popped up a notice saying it would expire in two weeks. Receiving clerk must have changed it herself, but did not tell me the new password. So, I have to call her at home to get it.
I call her house, she sounds like she's just been hit by a truck, she gives me the password. And I can't tell if ti works or not right away because my stupid ass entered in every password it could think of, and got locked out of the computer. So back upstairs to resume backstocking.
Half an hour later, I try the new password. It works. I pull up UPS and enter in all the necessary information....
...and can't get my shipping confirmation or label to print because the computer is being special and prompting me to select a printer, but not recognizing any printer I select to print from. Call receiving clerk at home again. She advises me to call the help desk, conveniently located in India.
"Due to the earthquake and tsunami warning in India this morning, we are at minimal staff. Please expect long hold times and stay on the line only for critical issues...."
Awesome. Help desk will obviously be a no-go today, and I hang up the phone because:
- My issue really is not critical,
- I'm not going to tie up the line, or be that guy who curses out the poor phone drone over a long hold time, when for all I know he's floating out the ocean someplace, and
-I don't have time to sit on hold anyway.
I end up having to go upstairs and commandeer pricing's computer and printer. It took me over an hour to prepare one package for shipping, and I finished just as the UPS truck pulled in.
Litterbox on wheels
We had three people working the salesfloor today, but management wanted them all working on their endstands, which changed en masse after LPS ended. So we truck people were requested to handle all the carryouts today. Again, no biggie due to how far we got on the truck.
I get called to carry out a patio swing. The customer rolls up in a garbage-strewn SUV reeking of cat piss.
And of course the swing doesn't go in the vehicle nicely, due to all the garbage that's inside. Customer helpfully suggests I go inside and guide the swing between the front seats as she pushes from the outside. But just then I manage to get the swing swung over so it is resting in between the front seats and the hatch can close. Good. I wasn't looking forward to explaining that I didn't want to crawl inside because I didn't feel like smelling like a urinal for the rest of the day.
Sad thing is, it wasn't an older SUV. It was a newer Toyota. That thing has to be spending all its time in the intensive care unit of the Horny Spraying Male Cat Clinic.
This is verbatim, and it hurts me to type it:
Customer riding around the store in one of our motorized shopping carts and bellowing into a cell phone: I can't find anything in here! They have to stop moving things around all the time! It confuse-ed me. (emphasis on the "ed") The layout of the store confus-ed me (emphasis on the "ed" again)
Oh snap, how did you found-ed out our secret! We like to move-ed things around because it will confuse-ed you. Then you will need-ed to pass-ed by many other items in the store, and you will lose-ed control and bought-ed cartfuls of stuff you don't need-ed. Please don't alert-ed the media. If the found-ed out, we would have to kill-ded you.
Now if you will excuse-ed me, my beer, it call-ed to me.
BTW, to anybody keeping score, I did not walk into any farts today, but my co-worked did, and to hear him describe it it was not a fart so much as it was a felony. Also there was a suspicious brown substance on the floor outside laundry detergent. If anybody asks me I'm saying I assumed it was mud.
We ended up literally having to tie the grill to the back of the car down with bungee cords as it stuck out of the trunk by a considerable length.
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