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  • #1

    Puddlejumper

    Get a load of this complaint we just got. Are you ready?

    The puddles in our parking lot are too dirty.

    I'll wait for your brain to reboot....

    ....

    A guest said she opened the trunk of her car, and her book fell out and into a "filthy puddle". She said she wished we had cleaned our parking lot better so the puddle water wouldn't be so dirty, because she may have been able to dry out the book and save it, but it was now too late.

    The thing is, this weekend we've been using a pressure washer to clean the grime off the walkways and parts of the parking lot. The puddle was probably leftover from cleaning the ground...the very thing she was complaining about!
    Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Oh, wow. She must be married to the guy that complained about having to walk from one parking lot to another in the rain because "somebody could DROWN in your parking lot!" Well, if you were passed-out in an inch of water I suppose...
    "If anyone wants this old box containing the broken bits of my former faith in humanity, I'll take your best offer now. You may be able to salvage a few of em' for parts..... " - Quote by Argabarga

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    • #3
      Quoth bhskittykatt View Post
      A guest said she opened the trunk of her car, and her book fell out and into a "filthy puddle". She said she wished we had cleaned our parking lot better so the puddle water wouldn't be so dirty, because she may have been able to dry out the book and save it, but it was now too late.
      Don't you wish you could reply that you wished she was more careful with how she packed her trunk and protected her book so that it would not fall out due to her merely opening the trunk because she would have prevented the book from being dropped on the parking lot, thereby saving it from getting "filthy wet" in puddles that may have formed, but it was now too late?
      "Ignorance is no excuse for a law."
      .................................................. ..................- Alfred E. Newman

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      • #4
        And she probably complained that the muggers in the neighborhood have just HORRID manners! So rude!!!
        - They say nothing good happens at 2AM, they're right, I happen at 2AM.

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        • #5
          Let her know its been disinfected. So its clean dirt.

          Comment

          • #6
            I don't know if this was intentional, but I love the Stargate: Atlantis reference.

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            • #7
              It's....outside. Where there is dirt. WTH does she want, somebody to go out into the lot and dump bleach into all the puddles?

              How the hell packed was her trunk, anyway, that something as small as a book could fall out just because she opened the trunk?

              What. A. Twit.
              When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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              • #8
                Words fail me. I'm just... wow. I'd love to see what this customer's driveway looks like.
                Fiancee: We're going to need to do laundry. I'm out of clean pants.
                Me: Sounds like a job for Gravekeeper!
                Fiancee: What?!
                Me: Nevermind.

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                • #9
                  Dear SC:
                  For many years we have strived to clean our dirt, including sweeping, powerwashing, and scrubbing with the tears of small children. We have even prayed and sacrificed innocent stuffed animals to the rain gods, because as you know, it is not the dirt that offends, it is when the dirt is in a puddle. Our next goal is to hold a telethon to raise funds for building an umbrella over our city. Plant life may starve from lack of sunlight, but at least our dirt will be puddle-free.
                  Yours truly,
                  Me
                  A lion however, will only devour your corpse, whereas an SC is not sated until they have destroyed your soul. (Quote per infinitemonkies)

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    UPDATE: SHE FILED A COMPLAINT!

                    Not a "real" complaint...she filled out the survey and indicated a problem.

                    Here is exactly what she said:

                    I was parked temporarily to unload a book by that awful puddle. I opened my back hatch and a valuable book fell out, fell into the horrible puddle, and ruined the valuable book.

                    I would like a complimentary night for this.
                    I'm currently trying to figure out how to say "no" without calling her a nincompoop in the process.

                    I have a feeling we may get a "real" Corporate complaint once I deny her...that should give the folks in the call center a good laugh.

                    Quoth Mel View Post
                    I don't know if this was intentional, but I love the Stargate: Atlantis reference.
                    You are welcome!
                    Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

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                    • #11
                      A bit of background for people who are not regular followers of bshkittykatt, her workplace is located in a climate where it rains a lot, meaning very frequently as opposed to heavy downpours. Complaining about dirty puddles in this area is like complaining about getting sunburn at poolside in Arizona.
                      Some days, it's just not worth chewing through the restraints...
                      TASTE THE LIME JELLO OF DEFEAT! -Gravekeeper

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                      • #12
                        "Dear Mrs. Nincompoop, thank you for your letter. We all had a good laugh, and we put the letter up on the bulletin board. You have a great sense of humor. By the way, you might want to talk to your local post office because your letter arrived at our office much later than April 1st. But don't worry, it didn't spoil the joke. We can't wait to see what you come up with for next April Fool's Day."
                        Sincerely, etc., etc.
                        When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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                        • #13
                          If she didn't toss her valuable book away, she should put it in a freezer bag and put it in the freezer. After its frozen, she should take the book out, shake the frost out, then put it in a fresh bag and refreeze it. Wash, rinse and repeat until the book is dry.

                          I wouldn't do this for a best seller that could be replaced by going to the local 7-11. I would do it for my valuable books. Of course, I don't put my 1974 copy of the Tales of the Cthulhu Mythos anywere that it might get damaged.

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                          • #14
                            It took a few drafts. The first one had plenty of snark and sarcasm, however I think I managed to tone it down to an acceptable level.

                            All the customer service manuals say "offer an alternative", so I tried to do that as well.

                            Dear SC,

                            Thank you for taking the time to tell us about your experience at [My Motel]. I am sorry that your experience did not meet your expectations; please allow me to express my sincerest apologies.

                            At [My Motel], we strive to provide a superior customer service experience for every customer, therefore your feedback is very important to us. We are sorry that you dropped your book. Many of us here have dropped and broken things ourselves at one point or another, and it is disappointing when that happens. However, we cannot be responsible for every accident one of our guests has, and thus we cannot offer reimbursement. Guests are responsible for the safety and welfare of their own belongings when loading or unloading their car in the parking lot.

                            You may see about taking it to a repair shop at your own expense. [Book restoration and repair shop] in [nearby city] repair and restore rare and valuable books, including paper repair. [gives contact info for the shop; closest I could find to SC's hometown]

                            We appreciate your sharing your concerns, and it is our hope that you will give us the opportunity to better serve you in the near future.

                            Sincerely,
                            bhskittykatt
                            Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

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                            • #15
                              I'm just trying to figure out why, if it was SO valuable, she wasn't taking better care of it, like, say, keeping it in a bag of some sort.

                              Betcha it was something like a mass market paperback too...
                              By popular request....I am now officially the Enemy of Normalcy.

                              "What is unobtainium? To Seraph, it's a normal client. :P" -- Observant Friend

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