Something important to know about me is that I had a baby a year ago and gained 80 pounds during the pregnancy. I've begun working out and counting calories so I've lost some weight within recent months. It's been really hard, though, since before baby arrived I was a professional bellydancer, and while I'm personally impressed with a lot of goddess-sized dancers the sad reality is that if you are at a Moroccan restaurant and there is a fat bellydancer, it will be a big joke to all the customers. So being overweight has really hurt me in a lot of ways, including ending my dance career.
Anyway, it's closing time at the library and there are always a few people -- my grandpa would have called them "lollygaggers"-- who are checking out at the last minute. We close the doors when only one group is left. I stand up from behind the desk and one of these customers exclaims, "Oh! How's the baby?" It takes me a second to figure out whether I've actually met her somewhere with my daughter or whether she's just being stupid and thinks I'm pregnant. (My delivery was a C-section and there was muscle damage, and women in my family just happen to carry extra weight there, so this isn't the first time it's happened.)
I really, really want to cheerfully say, "Oh, I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat!" But I cannot. I have to restrain myself because this woman is VERY overweight, far more than I am. She is using one of those walkers that also has a seat on it and it looks like it's being devoured by rolls and flab. So instead of being snarky and insensitive I just give the vague and polite "Oh-actually-I-just-had-the-baby" spiel.
"Oh, really?" Replied the lady. "Cause you're still bloated."
"Um... Thanks, I'll work on that... I guess..."
If a fat person calls another person fat, doesn't that, like, break the flux capacitor and create a time-dilating singularity or something?
Anyway, it's closing time at the library and there are always a few people -- my grandpa would have called them "lollygaggers"-- who are checking out at the last minute. We close the doors when only one group is left. I stand up from behind the desk and one of these customers exclaims, "Oh! How's the baby?" It takes me a second to figure out whether I've actually met her somewhere with my daughter or whether she's just being stupid and thinks I'm pregnant. (My delivery was a C-section and there was muscle damage, and women in my family just happen to carry extra weight there, so this isn't the first time it's happened.)
I really, really want to cheerfully say, "Oh, I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat!" But I cannot. I have to restrain myself because this woman is VERY overweight, far more than I am. She is using one of those walkers that also has a seat on it and it looks like it's being devoured by rolls and flab. So instead of being snarky and insensitive I just give the vague and polite "Oh-actually-I-just-had-the-baby" spiel.
"Oh, really?" Replied the lady. "Cause you're still bloated."

"Um... Thanks, I'll work on that... I guess..."
If a fat person calls another person fat, doesn't that, like, break the flux capacitor and create a time-dilating singularity or something?

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