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  • #1

    Buy a car maybe? (Long)

    First off happy Memorial Day everyone!

    B/G: This happened while I was finishing up another thread in General Work Chat. We had some outside vendors working on a network issue at one of XXX Bank's branches in another state. My dept acts as a coordinator for all this, basically acting as a single point of contact for all parties involved. It should be noted that this other state is about 2,000 miles from my own. This will be important later.

    Cast:

    Stupid Guard (SG): security officer tasked with watching over the vendors while working in the bank.

    Outside Vendor (OV): nice fellow, I've coordinated on projects with him before.

    Me: your favorite Rainman

    (Phone Rings)

    Rainman: Corporate Security, this is Rainman, how may I help you?

    OV: Hey Rainman it's OV with XXX.

    Rainman: Oh hey OV, what can I do for you?

    OV: Well there was a guard here with us today and we're just finishing up, but he's telling me that I'm his ride home? You know anything about this?

    Rainman: Ride home? How did he get there? Doesn't have a XXX Securities patrol vehicle?

    OV: Yeah he does but I guess he's talking about after he drops that vehicle off at his HQ. He's telling me I have to follow him there and drive him home! What the hell is this? I don't even know this guy and I am supposed to be a fucking taxi for him?

    Rainman: whoa, OV, chill out man. This doesn't sound right at all. I dont recall that security company making deals with outside vendors to be a taxi service for their guards. Is he with you?

    OV: He's not near me no, but he's still here.

    Rainman: Alright I'll try him on the Nextel (we use them like long range walkies)Rainman to SG, Rainman to SG.

    SG: Sup dude! (nice, very professional)

    Rainman: Yes sir this is Rainman with XXX Bank, I'm being told that OV is for some reason expected to drive you home from work today? Is this right?

    SG: Hell yeah! I watched his ass all day and kept him safe, least he can do is drive me home. Boss said it was cool to ask him. But I made it sounds like he had to! lol (Wow dude. . . prick is the only word I can use to describe you)

    Rainman: Um, ok. . . yeah. . . . sir OV is under absolutly no obligation to drive you home. Furthermore it was kind of low of you to make him think he did. You are going to want to make some other arrangement as I am going to call him right now and tell him you are full of crap. (Yes i actually said the words)

    SG: Aw come on man! How am i supposed to get home??

    Rainman: Buy a car? I dont know. How did you GET to work?

    SG: I dunno I was pretty hung over (again, the picture of professionalism) and I think the chick I hooked up with last night drove me.

    Rainman: You think? That's um. . . . not very encouraging. Well look, find another way home, OV doesn;t have to do it.

    SG: man, cant YOU help me find a ride then?

    Rainman:. . . . . . . . sir how do you honestly expect me to do that? I'm currently at a security console in MICHIGAN!! You are in XXX (remember, 2,000 miles away)

    SG: Chill man I thought you might know some people down here.

    Rainman: WHAT???!!!?? Why would I. . . you know what, nevermind. I have work to do here sir. Good luck in your search for a ride.

    SG: Are you SURE you don't. . (I hang up)

    Head, meet desk.
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Too bad you can't send a recording of that call to his direct superior. Geez, what great security.

    Madness takes it's toll....
    Please have exact change ready.

    Comment

    • #3
      What. A. Tool. Honestly, call a taxi for godssake....arrgghhh.....
      When you start at zero, everything's progress.

      Comment

      • #4
        Quoth Merriweather View Post
        Too bad you can't send a recording of that call to his direct superior. Geez, what great security.
        Actually, what IS the procedure here? He's saying he was so hung over he didn't know how he got to work. Which translates to he was probably still drunk off his ass. Either way, he had no business working.
        A lion however, will only devour your corpse, whereas an SC is not sated until they have destroyed your soul. (Quote per infinitemonkies)

        Comment

        • #5
          "Well Dude, how sexy is your thumb? Can you stay within the lines?"

          Comment

          • #6
            Quoth bainsidhe View Post
            Actually, what IS the procedure here? He's saying he was so hung over he didn't know how he got to work. Which translates to he was probably still drunk off his ass. Either way, he had no business working.
            Every single conversation that comes from or comes to my dept is recorded. Trust me there have been times I've wanted to email out the call files and get deserving people in trouble (Got to one time, it felt so good) BUT the rule of thumb is we don't go make waves for our vendors or other companies who deal with us. "

            If they have problems with their house it's their business and we will only get involved if asked." is what how my boss handles these things.

            Comment

            • #7
              Stupid security guard makes the good ones look bad! Grrrr....
              "If anyone wants this old box containing the broken bits of my former faith in humanity, I'll take your best offer now. You may be able to salvage a few of em' for parts..... " - Quote by Argabarga

              Comment

              • #8
                What a douchebag
                Ne auderis delere orbem rigidum meum! - Don't you dare erase my hard disk!

                This is Tech Support, not Customer Service.
                What's the difference?
                We're allowed to tell you "no".

                Comment

                • #9
                  Drunk, and practically threatening an innocent vendor. This guy needs to lose his job, and that's coming from me. My opinion, best relegated to private messages to escape fratching, is very against job-loss. So for me to say he should lose his job is very, very bad on his part.
                  Last edited by Kristev; 05-29-2012, 09:14 AM.
                  Customers should always be served . . . to the nearest great white.

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Doesn't that actually break the law and count as some weird form of carjacking? To falsify information in order to force someone to drive you somewhere?
                    Tell a man there are 300 Billion stars in the universe and he’ll believe you.
                    Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he’ll have to touch to be sure.
                    -Unknown Author

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                    • #11
                      Asking != telling. If he hadn't been a dick, maybe he would have gotten the ride he wanted...
                      This was one of those times where my mouth says "have a nice day" but my brain says "go step on a Lego". - RegisterAce
                      I can't make something magically appear to fulfill all your hopes and dreams. Believe me, if I could I'd be the first person I'd help. - Trixie

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Quoth Rainman View Post
                        SG: Hell yeah! I watched his ass all day and kept him safe, least he can do is drive me home.
                        Ok, well, if all you want is a ride home as compensation, then I'll tell OV that he need not pay for the days security services, as long as he is willing to give you that ride home.

                        SC
                        "...four of his five wits went halting off, and now is the whole man governed with one..." W. Shakespeare, Much Ado About Nothing Act I, Sc I

                        Do you like Shakespeare? Join us The Globe Theater!

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Quoth bainsidhe View Post
                          Actually, what IS the procedure here? He's saying he was so hung over he didn't know how he got to work. Which translates to he was probably still drunk off his ass. Either way, he had no business working.
                          A hung over security guard. Yeah that should be reported to his company.


                          Cos if he's too hung over to drive ... then how sober was he when he came on shift?

                          don't go make waves for our vendors or other companies who deal with us.
                          I dunno. If they're sending in drunks to work with you that's not a good sign. I just hope these aren't armed guards.
                          Last edited by PepperElf; 05-29-2012, 04:00 PM.

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Quoth Rainman View Post
                            We had some outside vendors working on a network issue at one of XXX Bank's branches in another state.

                            Stupid Guard (SG): security officer tasked with watching over the vendors while working in the bank.
                            ...
                            SG: Hell yeah! I watched his ass all day and kept him safe, ...
                            I would think that in that particular environment (a bank) the security guard would be there to protect the bank from the outside workmen. How does he figure he is there to protect the workmen?
                            "I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Quoth PepperElf View Post
                              A hung over security guard. Yeah that should be reported to his company.
                              Agreed. If I were running a company I would definitely wanna know if a guard (a) came in with a hang over and (b) was stupid enough to actually admit it openly...All I would ask for, tho, was that he not return to work at MY site. Whether he kept his job or not would be up to his employer ^_^
                              "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
                              "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
                              "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
                              "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
                              "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
                              "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
                              Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
                              "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

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