Screaming mimi's

[sld72382]

I wanted to block these from memory, but alas, I cannot.

1. All this over a defective modem.

Women calls in because she says the modem keeps dropping connection. After asking her the normal questions, she announced she is going to put her husband on the phone. I wish she didn't....

Me: Hello sir this is SLD, how can I....

SC: *Screaming* THIS IS HORSESHIT, I WANT A NEW MODEM! MODEM!!!!!!

Me: Um sir, we can't just replace the modem sight unseen we have to....

SC: NO! I WANT A NEW MODEM, GOD DAMMIT! I WANT IT NOOOOOOOOW!

Me: Ok sir, I'm here to help, I'm not here to be screamed at. I would like you to conduct this call in a professional manner.

SC: *Still screaming* FUCK YOU! I CAN SCREAM IF I WANT TO, I'M THE CUSTOMER!

Me: First you're screaming now you're using profanity at me. If you don't stop I am going to get permission to release this call. (A sup is close to me, she gives me the go ahead to release if he's going to do it one more time)

SC: LISTEN HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT! I'M GOING TO TAKE LEGAL ACTION IF YOU HANG UP ON ME! IF YOU CAN'T TAKE A CUSTOMER YELLING AND CURSING YOU SHOULDN'T BE IN CUSTOMER SERVICE! NOW I WANT A NEW MODEM!!!!

I'm about to release the call when his wife gets back on the line....

SC's wife: I'm sorry about that, he's a little pissed off. Maybe I should have mentioned it earlier, but the modem's power button needs to be held together with a tape and a pebble....

Me: (Thinking: You should have mentioned this earlier instead of putting your asshole of a husband on). That is certainly a hardware issue, let me get permission to replace the modem for you....

I ordered the modem, and that was it. But "just a little pissed off?" The guy needs anger management classes....

-----

1. Lying sack of shit.

Apparently, this customer’s issue is that he had a computer issue which was the reason why his DIAL-UP account didn’t work (Error 633, I believe). He was apparently rude and nasty to two different techs who told him the same thing. A rep from another dept transferred him over to me, and he warned me that he wasn’t a very nice person. Nonetheless, I had to take the call.

Me: Thank you for calling [company], how can I....

SC: Are you a supervisor?

Me: No, but I might be able to help you....

SC: I want.... a.... supervisor.

Me: I’d be more than happy get a sup but I have to know what the problem is....

SC: If you don’t get me a supervisor I’m going to lose it.

Me: Sir, I’d like to get one but without any info....

SC: *screaming* GOD DAMMIT I WANT A MOTHER FUCKING SUPERVISOR! DID YOU HEAR THAT? SUPERVISOR! I WANT A GOD DAMN SUPERVISOR NOW!

Me: Sir I’m here to help not to be cursed and screamed at. I would like you to conduct this call in a professional manner.

SC: LISTEN HERE, I AM THE CUSTOMER! DO NOT TELL ME WHAT TO DO! AS A CUSTOMER I DON’T HAVE TO RESPECT YOU, YOU HAVE TO RESPECT ME! GOT IT? NOW GET ME A GOD DAMN SUPERVISOR!

Me: Please hold....

I notified a sup, and she said that if does his cursing and screaming at her she’ll just hang up on him. She told me to tell him that if the problem is with his computer like the other two techs said he’ll have to go to the manufacturer. Back to the phone....

Me: Okay my sup will take the call but....

SC: I don’t want to talk to you, you’ve done made me mad!

Me: Sir I....

SC: Did you hear me? Get me your supervisor!

So I transfer to the sup, and from what the sup said he was very nice and told her that “I was rude and wouldn’t let him get a word in edgewise.” He told her that the last two techs before me “were idiots who kept brushing him off to his computer manufacturer.” She had another tech call him back, where it was discovered that the reason for his issue was that he had a newer tower which did not have a dial-up modem installed. From what the tech said he told her he’s going to call the manufacturer and yell at them for “not including something as basic and essential as a modem.”

[emax4]

Sometimes you just have to put the phone down, let them rant and let themselves run out of breath. By that time they'll be too tired to talk, haha.

[Argabarga]

I've done that before, just put the phone down on the passengers seat and keep driving, and when I don't hear the Donald Duck gibberish anymore, I pick it up and continue the call, rarely is anything of value lost

[Merriweather]

Some of my biggest per peeves rolled in one on these.

1. People who decide what the problem is and want action based on that, rather than call in to get the problem solved in whatever way works. Do they go to their doctor with the same attitude "Doc, schedule me for surgery to take my appendix out" "First we need to do tests to determine if your problem is your appendix, or something more simple and easier fixed" "Screw tests, just take out my damn appendix!!"

2. People who expect you to resolve the problem, without giving you all the info that's relavent. Again, I can see them at the doctor's office "Sir, we've done very test we can think of and can't seem to locate the source of the pain in your toe" "Damn, I can't believe you can't find the problem. Should I have told you I dropped a brick on it last week?"

3. People who think screaming will somehow accomplish more than speaking calmly.

4. People who can scream at the lowly peons, then turn into Mr. Nice when the supervisor gets on the line.

Back a few hundred years, in those great battles you read about, where the troops lines up all in order facing each other - you knew your level of importance by how close to the frnt you were at first attack Not much different in tech support, the lowest tiers are the least paid, least respected, but first in the line of fire from the SCs

[drunkenwildmage]

I did something we called the 'Penalty Box'. If a subscriber started to yell at me, or otherwise was uncooperative, I would place them on hold for 2 mins. (AKA the penalty box). A majority of times, they were a heck of allot easier to work with after I got back to them.

[dalesys]

... call the manufacturer and yell at them for “not including something as basic and essential as a modem.”

Yes sir. And of course you will also need the buggy whip holder.

[the_std]

Wow. It is truly unbelievable that two customers gave you what was essentially the same speech. I mean, what are the odds that they'd both say the same thing to the same person?

[XCashier]

I mean, what are the odds that they'd both say the same thing to the same person?

When it's just a bunch of unimaginative profanity, the odds are actually pretty good.

[emax4]

When the guy was screaming for a new modem, too bad you couldn't scream back, "OKAY THAT'S TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS AND FREE SHIPPING, PLEASE READ OFF TO ME YOUR CREDIT CARD NUMBER... NO, DON'T INTERRUPT ME CREDIT CARD NOW.. CREDIT CARD NOW. "

[Dave1982]

I'm gonna go way out on a limb here and speculate that the modem with the broken power switch may well have gotten that way due to Mr. Anger management doing something like....oh I don't know.....slamming it against the wall/floor/table.....in which case I'm thinking they need to be charged full price plus shipping for the new one.

[telecom_goddess]

When the guy was screaming for a new modem, too bad you couldn't scream back, "OKAY THAT'S TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS AND FREE SHIPPING, PLEASE READ OFF TO ME YOUR CREDIT CARD NUMBER... NO, DON'T INTERRUPT ME CREDIT CARD NOW.. CREDIT CARD NOW. "

I love it....that would have been an awesome comeback.

[MoonCat]

When the guy was screaming for a new modem, too bad you couldn't scream back, "OKAY THAT'S TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS AND FREE SHIPPING, PLEASE READ OFF TO ME YOUR CREDIT CARD NUMBER... NO, DON'T INTERRUPT ME CREDIT CARD NOW.. CREDIT CARD NOW. "

I had to do something very much like that not long ago. Had a caller who just started rattling off as fast as he could talk: "Hello-I-want-to-place-a-blah-blah-blah-ad-my-name-is-blah-blah-and-the-ad-should-read-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-"

I started out very politely, "Excuse me, sir? I need your phone number first please.." He just kept talking. I kept trying to stop him and ended up shouting "HELLO? HELLO?? SIR, HELLLOOOO!!!"

He finally shut up, and we were able to continue in a professional manner.

Re: The OP, I really HATE the people who think they have a right to call you names and be vulgar because they're the customer. It's sickening.

[sld72382]

I'm gonna go way out on a limb here and speculate that the modem with the broken power switch may well have gotten that way due to Mr. Anger management doing something like....oh I don't know.....slamming it against the wall/floor/table.....in which case I'm thinking they need to be charged full price plus shipping for the new one.

Actually it was just old and worn out (over 5+ years). The last modems to actually have a power button were discontinued a couple of years ago as the button kept.... breaking on people. Our new models power on and off by plugged in the power cord (or taking it out).

Strangely, for all the screaming he did neither he or his wife had a problem with signing up for a service plan to cover the cost of a modem replacement.

[tropicsgoddess]

Some of my biggest per peeves rolled in one on these.

1. People who decide what the problem is and want action based on that, rather than call in to get the problem solved in whatever way works. Do they go to their doctor with the same attitude "Doc, schedule me for surgery to take my appendix out" "First we need to do tests to determine if your problem is your appendix, or something more simple and easier fixed" "Screw tests, just take out my damn appendix!!"

2. People who expect you to resolve the problem, without giving you all the info that's relavent. Again, I can see them at the doctor's office "Sir, we've done very test we can think of and can't seem to locate the source of the pain in your toe" "Damn, I can't believe you can't find the problem. Should I have told you I dropped a brick on it last week?"

3. People who think screaming will somehow accomplish more than speaking calmly.

4. People who can scream at the lowly peons, then turn into Mr. Nice when the supervisor gets on the line.

For the first and second ones, I hated getting the SC's that thought they "knew" what the root cause of the problem was when really they don't know shit all. Those are the bane of every tech support rep. Those are the kind that make the simplest problem so fucking difficult to resolve.

For number 3...the only thing it'll get them is the dial tone or circle jerking is because nobody wants to talk to a screaming asshole.

As for number 4...OMG those are the ones I wanna because they do that tactic just to get what they want by lying, playing victim and making the rep look like the bad guy.

[downforit2008]

Not paid enough for this job on days like these, are you??? Gotta feel sorry for the supervisors who have to take the calls from these shrieking hellions.

I would have loved to hang up on people like these. I hear any R-rated dialogue on the phone, the call is over. Period. I had a job just like that where my boss was pretty cool about us terminating the calls of potty-mouths. He was a "born-again Christian" so he had a ZERO TOLERANCE for this kind of thing and he said people that talk that kind of trash over the phone should be hung up on so they can have the chance to take a few deep breaths and call back in a more "civilized" manner.