Stupid real life questions

[crazylegs]

"Is it broken?"

Unfortunately the big yellow van behind me says 'Ambulance' not 'Mobile x-ray unit' so until such time as either

A) You have a new and unusual joint not normally discussed in A&P textbooks
OR
B) I develop x-ray vision

You'll have to wait until such time as you get examined in hospital.

Bonus points if you're a professional from a n other emergency service asking the question.

[vikingchyk]

"Did you know the system was down"

No, we're just the system administrators. We had no idea.

[Lingerie_Lackey]

And of course, the ever classic:

"Do you work here?", said to an employee in full store uniform. If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, I never would have believed it.

Happens to me all. the. time. Usually whilst I'm putting stock out and thus holding way more of the same item than one person would ever buy.

I also get, "Where is X item?" asked whilst the customer is standing right next to said item.

Today I got asked where the stairs down are, and when I told this person she sceptically asked me, "...Really?", as though she didn't believe me that I'd given her the right answer.

"This X didn't fit. What size do I need?" I might need a little more information to go on before attempting to answer that question.

[AccountingDrone]

Here's one I witnessed years ago at Woolworth's. This lady was at the lunch counter ordering a hot dog. For some reason they used to boil the hot dogs before putting them on the grill to brown them. They had stuff like chopped onions, tomatoes and sauerkraut ready to go as condiments.

Lady: "I'd like a hot dog with sauerkraut, please."
Counter guy: "Sure, but I'll have to cook one for you, we don't have any ready." (late in the day).
Lady: "Okay, but don't put the sauerkraut in there with it."

Yes...she told him not to put the sauerkraut into the water. Why she thought he would do that, I have no idea. He looked at her like she had 3 heads but was very polite in telling her that he wouldn't do that. She actually told him this TWICE. I kept envisioning a spoonful of saurkraut being dumped into the boiling water and floating all over.

ETA: Not a question, more of a request...just thought it was stupid...

Some people toss a package of kraut and the sausages in water and boil them up that way, then drain the whole mess and plate it. Really sour sauerkraut needs to be simmered in water and drained so it isn't so gutwrenchingly sour.

[depechemodefan]

Any Random Kinkoid answering the phone: Kinko's, open 24 hours! How can I help you?

Member of Legion of Idiots: What time do you close?

(At least once, this conversation continued thusly:

ME: We don't close, ma'am, we're open 24 hours.

There are gyms here called "24 hour fitness" that open at 4am and close around 11pm

I was born in 1972. My dad was in WWII. He used to tell me that he was at Pearl Harbor when it got bombed in '41, he was at Pearl Harbor when it got bombed in '41 and he ended up in the water and floating all the way to Australia, and that he wasn't at Pearl Harbor. Since I worked at the library, I thought I could find resources to answer the question of my dad being at Pearl Harbor on Dec. 7, 1941. So I go to the Social Science dept. (this was back in 2000) and ask a cw if there was anything I could look at to help me find out. My cw asked me if my dad died in Pearl Harbor that day.

[Zoom]

There are gyms here called "24 hour fitness" that open at 4am and close around 11pm

That's an obvious one. You go there, exercise, and presto-- you're fit for 24 hours.

[Jester]

Here are some of the regular stupid questions we get at my job.


"Are you open?" After they just walked in and have seen other people sitting and eating and/or drinking.


"Do you sell drinks?" Asked of the bartender while standing at the bar, looking at the bartender, who has several hundred bottles of booze and an array of beer taps directly behind him.


"What's the weather like on the roof deck?" Asked by someone who's just come in from outside.


"Do you live here?" Asked of the person serving them. My response never varies. "No, I commute from Phoenix every day. For those of you that don't understand the humor there, please feel free to take a look at a map, and find Phoenix, Arizona, and Key West, Florida. Heck of a commute, wouldn't you say?


"Will that be enough to fill us up?" I don't know, I just met you, and have no idea how much you normally eat nor how hungry you are right now.

Got hurt in a fencing tournament. Separated rib. Told the doc how I'd been injured, and described the weapon that hit me. He squints at me and says, "Okay...so...you're saying a fence fell on you?"

If your doctor is that dense, it might be time to find a new doctor.

Customer was silent for a moment then burst out laughing.
Cust: That was kind of a stupid question, wasn't it?

Had something similar happen at work the other day, where a customer realized he said something boneheaded.

CUSTOMER: "What kind of draft beer do you have?"
JESTER: "Our beer menu is right here, sir. But we are currently out of Oberon and Stella.
CUSTOMER: "Okay, I'll have a Stella."
JESTER: "But...we're out of the Stella."
CUSTOMER: "You just told me that, didn't you. Sorry, brain dead."



At least he caught it himself, right?

[Aethian]

There are gyms here called "24 hour fitness" that open at 4am and close around 11pm

we have some like that here. Between the hours they are "closed" if you pay enough you get a key to the door.

[BrenDAnn]

A few from my current C-Store:

"Do you have any hot dogs?"...asked by someone standing RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE ROLLER GRILL, which, yes, has hot dogs on it

"Why is my gas that much? It shouldn't be that much! That's almost four dollars a gallon!" Yes, sir, because that's how much gas COST at that time. Funny thing, that.

"Do you have <x brand cigarettes>?" asked about cigarettes that are right in front of the customer, in plain view, on the cigarette rack behind me

"Do you have a bathroom?" asked almost daily...one of these days I'm gonna say "Nope. We squat down and piss outside behind the building."

"How do you spell <C_Store name>?" asked while standing at my counter, where C-Store's name is displayed in SEVERAL prominent locations

[Jay 2K Winger]

"How do you spell <C_Store name>?" asked while standing at my counter, where C-Store's name is displayed in SEVERAL prominent locations

I've had that happen. Only they didn't ask, but were clearly trying to figure out how to spell it by looking for the signs.

What made it worse is that the wholesale club's name consists of two letters.

[Dadeo]

This is easy to explain, since I just messed this up yesterday - boiling them first makes sure they are heated through. If you just throw them on the grill, especially straight from the fridge, you'd have to incinerate the outside them to get them warm in center. So sad, the grill marks were perfect last night. The insides - bleah, not even lukewarm

When we have BBQs at the kids' school, the health department requires us to boil hotdogs before putting them on the grill. Kind of overkill as every kid I know eats them straight out of the package when at home.

[BrenDAnn]

I've had that happen. Only they didn't ask, but were clearly trying to figure out how to spell it by looking for the signs.

What made it worse is that the wholesale club's name consists of two letters.

Ow...Owwww! Reading that made my head hurt, Jay! Wow! You have my deepest sympathies for having to have gone through that!

[DGoddessChardonnay]

When we have BBQs at the kids' school, the health department requires us to boil hotdogs before putting them on the grill. Kind of overkill as every kid I know eats them straight out of the package when at home.

Some of us will put them in a frying pan after slicing them in half lengthwise and fry 'em up. Yummy.

[ShootMePlease]

"Do you work here ? " - While dressed in a Metallica shirt and jeans in a Walmart.

"Why is this so expensive ? " - As if I make the prices.

"Can't you make me a better deal ? " - No. This is not a fucking garage sale. This is a business here to make money.

"Well what if I went to (insert competitor's name here) ? What kind of price would I get there ? " - Why don't you go find out, Assmonkey.

"I could always get this at Amazon" - You do that.

"How much is this at (insert competitor's name here) ?" - I don't fucking know. I don't need to shop there. I work here.