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Clearly We Just Hate Children
After I'd finished working, was sitting down at the bar with some friends having a beer, and a group came in, including two that were maybe between the ages of 10-13. When my coworker informed them that children could not sit at the bar, did they:
A. Have the children sit at a bar table, which is allowed?
B. Get a table in the dining room?
C. Go upstairs to the roof deck, where, as long as the kids were not sitting at the bar, they'd be fine?
D. Leave in a huff?
If you picked anything but D, you are clearly overestimating these people. Sadly, this was not only not the first case this week of people leaving the establishment completely when informed of the shocking infomration that children can't sit at the bar, this was not even the first case of it that day.
You're Not Really Listening, Are You?
ME: "How many, please?"
THEM: "Four."
ME: "Would you like inside downstairs or outside upstairs?"
THEM: "Is there AC upstairs?"
You Could See This One Coming Around the Corner
First customer of the day comes up to the bar and asks, "Do you have cans of Budweiser?" No sir, the only cans we have of anything are this one brand of hard cider. All of our beers are either bottles or draft. So he got a bottle of Bud. Shocking, he paid exact change and tipped exactly nothing.
Douchepotamus Drunkus
Guy sits down at my bar looking very Miami Douchebag-like: shaved head, baseball cap pulled down too tight, dark shades that are clearly cooler than he is. The following conversation ensues.
ME: "Hi there? What can I get you?"
DD: (mumbling) "Vohduh rehbel."
ME: "Excuse me?"
DD: "Vodka Red Bull."
ME: "Sure. May I see your ID?"
DD: (startled, as if I stepped on his puppy's tail) "What?"
ME: "Your ID please, sir."
DD: "Well, I don't have ID, but I do have a credit card."
ME: "I'm sorry sir, but I won't be able to serve you without an ID."
DD: "What? Why?"
ME: "Um, because you look 30 or younger, and I asked you for ID, and you don't have any. Under state law, I can't serve you without ID."
And I walked away, as clearly there was nothing I could do for this dumbass. He sits there looking confounded, staring at me, as if doing so would somehow change his situation. (Hint: it wouldn't, and didn't.) Then he started looking around the place, I guess for a manager to bitch to. Not seeing anyone (even though the manager was right there in the dining room), the dude finally stormed out.
Now, while I do have a reputation for carding harder than most, the fact remains that management has and will back me up on this. I ask for ID, you don't have any, unless the manager knows you and can tell me with certainty that you are of age, fuck you, you're not getting a damn drink at my bar, and management will back me up.
Bonus points: I found out after the fact that when he sat down, he started telling the couple he sat down next to how he "needed to wake up" since he had "gotten his ask kicked" either that day or the day before. And they were sitting there thinking, "And we care about this WHY?"
Idiot.
Note to future idiots: Possessing a credit card does not prove you are of legal age to drink. The legal drinking age in this country is 21. I had a credit card at 19. My niece has a credit card at 18. I have known people under 18 to have credit cards. By the way, having children is also not proof of age; my 19 year old niece is a mother. For the 49327329742057023740232th time, the only acceptable forms of ID for purchasing alcohol in the State of Florida are driver's licenses, passports, State-issued ID cards, and U.S. Armed Forces ID cards. What's that? You don't have any of those, and think I should accept [pick any of a million different things]? Well, it's not that I don't agree with you. It's that the State of Florida, where I work, doesn't agree with you. And as long as I work in the State of Florida, and am subject to their laws and the penalties for breaking those laws, I am pretty much going to go with what the laws of the State of Florida say, and not what you say.
In other words, my good standing in the eyes of the law is far more important to me than your convenience, happiness, state of intoxication, or for that matter, very existence.
NEXT!
After I'd finished working, was sitting down at the bar with some friends having a beer, and a group came in, including two that were maybe between the ages of 10-13. When my coworker informed them that children could not sit at the bar, did they:
A. Have the children sit at a bar table, which is allowed?
B. Get a table in the dining room?
C. Go upstairs to the roof deck, where, as long as the kids were not sitting at the bar, they'd be fine?
D. Leave in a huff?
If you picked anything but D, you are clearly overestimating these people. Sadly, this was not only not the first case this week of people leaving the establishment completely when informed of the shocking infomration that children can't sit at the bar, this was not even the first case of it that day.
You're Not Really Listening, Are You?
ME: "How many, please?"
THEM: "Four."
ME: "Would you like inside downstairs or outside upstairs?"
THEM: "Is there AC upstairs?"
You Could See This One Coming Around the Corner
First customer of the day comes up to the bar and asks, "Do you have cans of Budweiser?" No sir, the only cans we have of anything are this one brand of hard cider. All of our beers are either bottles or draft. So he got a bottle of Bud. Shocking, he paid exact change and tipped exactly nothing.
Douchepotamus Drunkus
Guy sits down at my bar looking very Miami Douchebag-like: shaved head, baseball cap pulled down too tight, dark shades that are clearly cooler than he is. The following conversation ensues.
ME: "Hi there? What can I get you?"
DD: (mumbling) "Vohduh rehbel."
ME: "Excuse me?"
DD: "Vodka Red Bull."
ME: "Sure. May I see your ID?"
DD: (startled, as if I stepped on his puppy's tail) "What?"
ME: "Your ID please, sir."
DD: "Well, I don't have ID, but I do have a credit card."
ME: "I'm sorry sir, but I won't be able to serve you without an ID."
DD: "What? Why?"
ME: "Um, because you look 30 or younger, and I asked you for ID, and you don't have any. Under state law, I can't serve you without ID."
And I walked away, as clearly there was nothing I could do for this dumbass. He sits there looking confounded, staring at me, as if doing so would somehow change his situation. (Hint: it wouldn't, and didn't.) Then he started looking around the place, I guess for a manager to bitch to. Not seeing anyone (even though the manager was right there in the dining room), the dude finally stormed out.
Now, while I do have a reputation for carding harder than most, the fact remains that management has and will back me up on this. I ask for ID, you don't have any, unless the manager knows you and can tell me with certainty that you are of age, fuck you, you're not getting a damn drink at my bar, and management will back me up.
Bonus points: I found out after the fact that when he sat down, he started telling the couple he sat down next to how he "needed to wake up" since he had "gotten his ask kicked" either that day or the day before. And they were sitting there thinking, "And we care about this WHY?"
Idiot.
Note to future idiots: Possessing a credit card does not prove you are of legal age to drink. The legal drinking age in this country is 21. I had a credit card at 19. My niece has a credit card at 18. I have known people under 18 to have credit cards. By the way, having children is also not proof of age; my 19 year old niece is a mother. For the 49327329742057023740232th time, the only acceptable forms of ID for purchasing alcohol in the State of Florida are driver's licenses, passports, State-issued ID cards, and U.S. Armed Forces ID cards. What's that? You don't have any of those, and think I should accept [pick any of a million different things]? Well, it's not that I don't agree with you. It's that the State of Florida, where I work, doesn't agree with you. And as long as I work in the State of Florida, and am subject to their laws and the penalties for breaking those laws, I am pretty much going to go with what the laws of the State of Florida say, and not what you say.
In other words, my good standing in the eyes of the law is far more important to me than your convenience, happiness, state of intoxication, or for that matter, very existence.
NEXT!
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