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1) Look, it's wonderful that you can count to twenty one, and all the numbers in between. But while you're calling out lots of wonderful numbers, I'm actually trying to concentrate to make sure the guy next to you doesn't get his hand screwed up. If you want to do my job, go on the website, apply, and go through the training like I had to. Otherwise, shut the fuck up and let ME do the job I'm getting paid to do.
1a) On the one hand, it's kind of nice that you've brought your girlfriend to the casino for the first time and you're explaining the games to her. I mean, it's one less thing I have to do, right? On the other hand, you're explaining them to her LOUDLY, and you're explaining them to her WRONG. So now I can't concentrate AND my dealer brain is going DINGDINGDING. So you, too, can shut the fuck up and let ME do the job I'm getting paid to do.
2) Am I not beaming like an idiot the whole time? Gee, could that possibly be because I've got seven hands' totals to keep in my head, up to twenty one payouts a hand to make up and push out, the periphery of the table to keep my eye on in case of bet capping, an entire binder full of rules to remember, and a newbie to teach said rules to? No, couldn't be that. I couldn't possibly be CONCENTRATING. I MUST be in a bad mood. But now that you've pointed it out, I'm feeling MUCH happier.
3) Welp, I made a mistake because you wouldn't shut the fuck up. Unfortunately all the robot dealers are being recalibrated, and they're having to make do with humans. Sucks, huh? No, it doesn't ENTITLE you to a free drink.
4) Sir, cellphones have NEVER been allowed at the table, and me telling you so isn't me "giving you attitude because I made a mistake". I made a mistake, we sorted it, and the rest of us have moved on. Now put your fucking cellphone away before I call my friends in Security to have a chat with you. Like me, they take a pretty dim view of rule breaking. Hey, but at least there's something you're ENTITLED to - carry out service! As in, they WILL pick your ass up and throw your ass out.
5) It's three in the fucking morning. Of course I'm yawning. Asshole.
6) See those gaps between the tables? They're there for people to walk through. That's kind of hard when you idiots are standing clumped there for hours at a time having a conversation. Go sit in the bar or go home, but get out of the fucking way, I've got tables to get to.
7) Further to that, this is a CASINO. That's our primary function. If you don't want to game, then get the fuck out and stop making it impossible for the people who TO want to game, to get to the tables! You are taking up space, spending NO money, and COSTING US MONEY. THIS IS WHY I CAN'T GET HOURS.
8) You're still standing in the way. The difference now is, I've finished my shift, and I don't have to be polite anymore. GET OUT OF MY FUCKING WAY SO I CAN GO HOME.
Unrelated) Thanks, cool old dude on the blackjack table. You actually had me in fits of the giggles with your eyebrow waggles and your dramatic gasps every time I pulled eleven. I had a really good time with you, and I hope you come back. Thanks for making the rest of the idiots a little easier to ignore.
1a) On the one hand, it's kind of nice that you've brought your girlfriend to the casino for the first time and you're explaining the games to her. I mean, it's one less thing I have to do, right? On the other hand, you're explaining them to her LOUDLY, and you're explaining them to her WRONG. So now I can't concentrate AND my dealer brain is going DINGDINGDING. So you, too, can shut the fuck up and let ME do the job I'm getting paid to do.
2) Am I not beaming like an idiot the whole time? Gee, could that possibly be because I've got seven hands' totals to keep in my head, up to twenty one payouts a hand to make up and push out, the periphery of the table to keep my eye on in case of bet capping, an entire binder full of rules to remember, and a newbie to teach said rules to? No, couldn't be that. I couldn't possibly be CONCENTRATING. I MUST be in a bad mood. But now that you've pointed it out, I'm feeling MUCH happier.
3) Welp, I made a mistake because you wouldn't shut the fuck up. Unfortunately all the robot dealers are being recalibrated, and they're having to make do with humans. Sucks, huh? No, it doesn't ENTITLE you to a free drink.
4) Sir, cellphones have NEVER been allowed at the table, and me telling you so isn't me "giving you attitude because I made a mistake". I made a mistake, we sorted it, and the rest of us have moved on. Now put your fucking cellphone away before I call my friends in Security to have a chat with you. Like me, they take a pretty dim view of rule breaking. Hey, but at least there's something you're ENTITLED to - carry out service! As in, they WILL pick your ass up and throw your ass out.
5) It's three in the fucking morning. Of course I'm yawning. Asshole.
6) See those gaps between the tables? They're there for people to walk through. That's kind of hard when you idiots are standing clumped there for hours at a time having a conversation. Go sit in the bar or go home, but get out of the fucking way, I've got tables to get to.
7) Further to that, this is a CASINO. That's our primary function. If you don't want to game, then get the fuck out and stop making it impossible for the people who TO want to game, to get to the tables! You are taking up space, spending NO money, and COSTING US MONEY. THIS IS WHY I CAN'T GET HOURS.
8) You're still standing in the way. The difference now is, I've finished my shift, and I don't have to be polite anymore. GET OUT OF MY FUCKING WAY SO I CAN GO HOME.
Unrelated) Thanks, cool old dude on the blackjack table. You actually had me in fits of the giggles with your eyebrow waggles and your dramatic gasps every time I pulled eleven. I had a really good time with you, and I hope you come back. Thanks for making the rest of the idiots a little easier to ignore.
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