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MAN, did I deal with a lot of stupidity yesterday. It was as if my bar was a magnet for idiots, imbeciles, and morons.
Perfect example: This one lady, who was by herself, after asking me the typically stupid questions of "What should I get to drink?" and "What should I get to eat?" (like I know her personal tastes!), finally settled on one of our awesome homemade soups. After I ordered it, I went into the kitchen, got it, and brought it out to her.
HER: "Wow, that was fast! Was it already made?"
Yes, dear, it was. Unlike every other restaurant, that actually makes each and every bowl of soup to order, we prep ours ahead of time so that it can be doled out more quickly. But her stupidity didn't end there. She then struggled to open the cracker package, trying vainly to rip it open from the side that didn't have a seam. Why was she trying to do this? Do you really need to ask at this point? The woman's clearly several shrimp short of a full gumbo. In any case, after struggling to open the crackers by trying to do it the wrong, stupid way, she looked at me and asked, "What's the deal with these crackers? Why can't I open them?" So I gently took the packet from her, and with the smallest of movements, ever so gently tugged on the packet from the RIGHT end, and opened the packet for her with no trouble or effort. The couple sitting next to her had to try not to laugh at that.
More idiocy? Sure. This is a standard one, but it happened again yesterday. Person comes up to the bar to try to get change, probably for parking meters. They do so when I am incredibly busy, trying to take care of PAYING customers.
ME: "I'll be with you in just a moment."
THEM: "I just need change."
ME: "I'll be with you in just a moment."
30 seconds later, they have wandered away.
I know, Ms. Impatience, you JUST need change. Well, my customers JUST need their drinks made, they JUST need their food orders taken, my servers JUST need other drinks made, my other customers JUST need to pay, I JUST need to run 5 different credit cards, and yet other customers JUST need to ask me questions about our 150+ rums. What on EARTH makes you think that what YOU need is JUST a bit more important than what EVERYONE ELSE here needs? Especially since YOU are not a paying customer, but merely some yahoo who came in off the street to get change to put in a meter so you can go spend your money SOMEWHERE ELSE? Pardon me if I can't scrape together two shits to care about your situation. More importantly, pardon me if I don't rush to do YOUR bidding before everything else I have to do, and do it NOW. Oh, wait, no.....that's what I meant. What I meant was, fuck off and die, you impatient piece of shit. Yeah, that's it.
What's that? You crave more stupidity? Well, by all means. Let's take about my manager yesterday. He asked me about these two cases of whiskey. Do they go upstairs, or do they stay down here in the downstairs liquor storage area. They stay down here. So, naturally, I assume he is going to either (A) leave them outside the downstairs liquor storage area for me to put away later, (B) toss the cases in the downstairs storage area for me to put away later, or (C) actually put them away, though I don't hold out much hope for C, as that would be unusual for this particular manager. Well, you know what they say about assuming, right? Right!
This yabbo actually took the bottles out of their cases and put all 12 bottles right inside the doorway of the storage area (which is only a few feet high to begin with, and already very full of liquor), making it almost impossible for anyone, even someone of my limited stature, to get in their to get any liquor. Naturally, I put them on the correct shelf where they belonged later, but had he even simply left them in their cases and tossed them in the storage area, that would have been easier and made them less of an obstacle. For bonus points, he tossed the two boxes the bottles had been in out back. He didn't break them down or toss them in the dumpster, as we're supposed to. Just left them there. Naturally, being both a good employee and not as lazy, and not wanting to make even more work for our overworked dishwasher (who breaks down all the boxes for the kitchen, but whose job does not include our liquor boxes), I broke down those boxes and tossed them, the entire time wondering, "Dude....you REALLY went to college?" Sadly, he did. More sadly, he went to MY college.
What? You crave MORE stupidity? Well, if you insist....
The second bartender comes in as I am getting pummeled, and to his credit, he helped me out quite a bit, and we got rolling through happy hour. And then, inexplicably, he starts talking to a couple of my customers at the bar. Now, I have no problem with this in and of itself...we're bartenders, we're supposed to interact with our guests. But he stands there for 10-15 minutes, in the same place, doing nothing, talking to these two. Which would have been fine if we had been slow and the bar empty. We weren't, and it wasn't. While he sat there casually conversing, I was busy making drinks for my customers, making drinks for his customers, taking food orders from my customers, taking food orders form his customers, making drinks for the servers, and basically taking care of the ENTIRE FULL BAR while he sat there as if on break.
Really, dude? Really? How about you get your head out of your ass, excuse yourself from these chatty customers, and do some fucking work?
So after work, I walked into my regular bar, and the bartender knew something was up when I not only ordered my usual beer, but said, "I need a shot. Now."
The above are merely the highlights of yesterday....there were plenty of other incidents of stupidity to go along with them. Fun!
Hopefully Friday the 13th will have a much lower Stupid Content than Thursday did. Grrr....
Perfect example: This one lady, who was by herself, after asking me the typically stupid questions of "What should I get to drink?" and "What should I get to eat?" (like I know her personal tastes!), finally settled on one of our awesome homemade soups. After I ordered it, I went into the kitchen, got it, and brought it out to her.
HER: "Wow, that was fast! Was it already made?"
Yes, dear, it was. Unlike every other restaurant, that actually makes each and every bowl of soup to order, we prep ours ahead of time so that it can be doled out more quickly. But her stupidity didn't end there. She then struggled to open the cracker package, trying vainly to rip it open from the side that didn't have a seam. Why was she trying to do this? Do you really need to ask at this point? The woman's clearly several shrimp short of a full gumbo. In any case, after struggling to open the crackers by trying to do it the wrong, stupid way, she looked at me and asked, "What's the deal with these crackers? Why can't I open them?" So I gently took the packet from her, and with the smallest of movements, ever so gently tugged on the packet from the RIGHT end, and opened the packet for her with no trouble or effort. The couple sitting next to her had to try not to laugh at that.
More idiocy? Sure. This is a standard one, but it happened again yesterday. Person comes up to the bar to try to get change, probably for parking meters. They do so when I am incredibly busy, trying to take care of PAYING customers.
ME: "I'll be with you in just a moment."
THEM: "I just need change."
ME: "I'll be with you in just a moment."
30 seconds later, they have wandered away.
I know, Ms. Impatience, you JUST need change. Well, my customers JUST need their drinks made, they JUST need their food orders taken, my servers JUST need other drinks made, my other customers JUST need to pay, I JUST need to run 5 different credit cards, and yet other customers JUST need to ask me questions about our 150+ rums. What on EARTH makes you think that what YOU need is JUST a bit more important than what EVERYONE ELSE here needs? Especially since YOU are not a paying customer, but merely some yahoo who came in off the street to get change to put in a meter so you can go spend your money SOMEWHERE ELSE? Pardon me if I can't scrape together two shits to care about your situation. More importantly, pardon me if I don't rush to do YOUR bidding before everything else I have to do, and do it NOW. Oh, wait, no.....that's what I meant. What I meant was, fuck off and die, you impatient piece of shit. Yeah, that's it.
What's that? You crave more stupidity? Well, by all means. Let's take about my manager yesterday. He asked me about these two cases of whiskey. Do they go upstairs, or do they stay down here in the downstairs liquor storage area. They stay down here. So, naturally, I assume he is going to either (A) leave them outside the downstairs liquor storage area for me to put away later, (B) toss the cases in the downstairs storage area for me to put away later, or (C) actually put them away, though I don't hold out much hope for C, as that would be unusual for this particular manager. Well, you know what they say about assuming, right? Right!
This yabbo actually took the bottles out of their cases and put all 12 bottles right inside the doorway of the storage area (which is only a few feet high to begin with, and already very full of liquor), making it almost impossible for anyone, even someone of my limited stature, to get in their to get any liquor. Naturally, I put them on the correct shelf where they belonged later, but had he even simply left them in their cases and tossed them in the storage area, that would have been easier and made them less of an obstacle. For bonus points, he tossed the two boxes the bottles had been in out back. He didn't break them down or toss them in the dumpster, as we're supposed to. Just left them there. Naturally, being both a good employee and not as lazy, and not wanting to make even more work for our overworked dishwasher (who breaks down all the boxes for the kitchen, but whose job does not include our liquor boxes), I broke down those boxes and tossed them, the entire time wondering, "Dude....you REALLY went to college?" Sadly, he did. More sadly, he went to MY college.
What? You crave MORE stupidity? Well, if you insist....
The second bartender comes in as I am getting pummeled, and to his credit, he helped me out quite a bit, and we got rolling through happy hour. And then, inexplicably, he starts talking to a couple of my customers at the bar. Now, I have no problem with this in and of itself...we're bartenders, we're supposed to interact with our guests. But he stands there for 10-15 minutes, in the same place, doing nothing, talking to these two. Which would have been fine if we had been slow and the bar empty. We weren't, and it wasn't. While he sat there casually conversing, I was busy making drinks for my customers, making drinks for his customers, taking food orders from my customers, taking food orders form his customers, making drinks for the servers, and basically taking care of the ENTIRE FULL BAR while he sat there as if on break.
Really, dude? Really? How about you get your head out of your ass, excuse yourself from these chatty customers, and do some fucking work?
So after work, I walked into my regular bar, and the bartender knew something was up when I not only ordered my usual beer, but said, "I need a shot. Now."
The above are merely the highlights of yesterday....there were plenty of other incidents of stupidity to go along with them. Fun!
Hopefully Friday the 13th will have a much lower Stupid Content than Thursday did. Grrr....
! Actually, no...my reaction the first two times RM told me this was "That's impossible." Sadly, it wasn't. Don't know what happened, or where those buckaroos went, but they seem to have fled. Now, there is always the chance that my coworker somehow screwed something up in my drawer, and if his drawer ends up $80 over, well, I'll get that money back. But as it stands, tonight ended with a big buzzkill of an ouch.
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