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You're so cheap

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  • #1

    You're so cheap

    After work rush, guy comes thru with a couple of things, plus a 30-pack of condoms. Condoms won't scan - item not found. As I try keying them in manually, I notice they're expired. The combination of these things tells me they're on the rack of distress stuff by the doors to our back room. The only person around for a price check is our AM and he's far enough away that I can't yell to him, so I get on the intercom and tell him I need a price check on Express. Instead of coming over, he yells (he's got a big voice) back at me: for what?

    I'm thinking: Thanks for the dilemma, dude. Do I tell you to come here or use the intercom? I'm lined up 6 people deep with both Expresses open...

    I decide to call it out on the intercom cuz I can't yell that loud, and I don't embarrass easily either: 30-pack of Trojan condoms from the distress rack. Of course the guy turned totally red. Served him right for being a cheap f***er (pun definitely intended) and buying expired condoms. And the price check took a while cuz AM had to go all the way to the back of the store, so people were just staring at the red-faced dude buying condoms!
    It's like I'm wearing Eau de Moron and all of the idiots and assholes are attracted to me... -JuniorMintz
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  • #2
    Dude, if I'd have been him, I just would smiled and said, "hey, tell your AM to see if there's another 30 pack. I might run out!"
    Bears are bad. If an animal is going to be mean it should look so, like sharks and alligators. - Mark Healey

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    • #3
      Kilamon:

      That's dudette, but you can just call me Goddess
      It's like I'm wearing Eau de Moron and all of the idiots and assholes are attracted to me... -JuniorMintz

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      • #4
        Pfsh.....I wish i had a reason to even buy condoms....but sadly my love life is nil.

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        • #5
          Pffft. I've got a gf, yet still am nervous about doing anything, so we haven't gotten much further than hugs (To my credit, I'm damn good at hugs)
          I've been here for two years, work harder than most others, and I'm getting paid $1.80 an hour
          less than the 17 year old slacker you hired two months ago. Maybe that's why I'm not chipper at work.

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          • #6
            Quoth ahanix1989 View Post
            (To my credit, I'm damn good at hugs)
            Hugs are way more important than sex. Snuggles too.

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            • #7
              Quoth nekoro View Post
              Hugs are way more important than sex. Snuggles too.
              But after sex snuggles are sweet.

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              • #8
                If I use my legs, I'm able to support another person for an awesome huggle
                I've been here for two years, work harder than most others, and I'm getting paid $1.80 an hour
                less than the 17 year old slacker you hired two months ago. Maybe that's why I'm not chipper at work.

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                • #9
                  A 30 pack? Wow.

                  Although...I DO know some people who would go through that in less than a week.
                  Unseen but seeing
                  oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
                  There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
                  3rd shift needs love, too
                  RIP, mo bhrionglóid

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                  • #10
                    expired condoms?

                    serious russian roulette

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                    • #11
                      If the date on that box was as big as the one in my hairy cakes story, I swear I'll kill this guy with my mind.
                      Now would be a good time to visit So Very Unofficial!

                      "I've had so many nasty customers this week, my bottomless pit is now ankle-deep."-Me.

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                      • #12
                        Geez. What a winner. I'll bet he keeps them in his wallet- as many as he can anyway, and uses vaseline as lube.

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                        • #13
                          Vaseline? Psh. Probably just spits in the appropriate area and then goes to town.

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                          • #14
                            Quoth BeckySunshine View Post
                            A 30 pack? Wow.

                            Although...I DO know some people who would go through that in less than a week.
                            Don't they ever get tired? Thats an awful lot of condoms to use in less than a week.

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                            • #15
                              Quoth DarthRetard View Post
                              Pfsh.....I wish i had a reason to even buy condoms....but sadly my love life is nil.
                              Join the club...

                              Gotta love the huggles, though
                              I don't go in for ancient wisdom
                              I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
                              It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

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