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Guinness Man can suck it. (very very long. Language!)
So, one of my three jobs at the moment is in a hotel lounge. This past week has been absolutely horrific, especially Friday. Even thinking about it is making my stomach hurt.
Our lounge has approximately 70 seats, including a large computer desk, business area. On Friday night the hotel had a conference of ranchers/cattle breeders and the doors opened for what we thought was a 20 minute break. Turns out it was a 2 hour break and we were immediately flooded by at least 110 people, all at exactly the same time, all of them wealthy, half drunk ranchers who like to drink hard and expect to get what they want, when they want it. These are the guys who go purple in the face and kick up a HUGE fuss if something doesn't go their way (as a very small bonus, they are likely to call you "Little Lady" in a Texan accent, which, when I am not losing my mind from stress, I can find endearing).
It was just...God. I can hardly think about it. Every inch of space in the lounge was taken, they were continually wandering around with drinks like they were at a cocktail party and it was beyond impossible to keep track of who was ordering what, what tab went with what group, when they REFUSED TO STAND OR SIT STILL FOR 5 SECONDS!!!! But even if they had completely crossed the room and were nowhere nearby when I finally got to them with their drink?? Boy howdy, they damn well expected you to track them down because they are super-special and ARE SPENDING SOOO MUCH MONEY AT THIS HOTEL WE NEED TO ALL BEND OVER AND TAKE WHATEVER ABUSE THEY CHOOSE TO GIVE US.
And through all of this there is me on the floor and my manager, M, behind the bar. And these guys wants multiple rounds. NOW. Did I mention that I am very new to this??? Like brand new? Still shaky holding a tray of drinks-new???
Total. Nightmare. I spent 2 hours on the verge of tears. In the end a bunch of them walked out on their tabs which was fabulous as well, especially when they could see that there were 2 people serving 110 customers and we were working our asses off.
Anyhoo, the lounge technically closes at 11:00. The rule is that we have to serve anyone who comes in up until 11:00 exactly, but we are allowed to tell them that it is last call and there will only be one round for them. Still a pain in the butt when big groups come in a 10:59 and want food and blended drinks and all of the booze that has been locked away as part of our closing, but manageable.
So after the crowd leaves, the lounge honestly looks like there has been a day long house party, it was disgusting. Not a single chair was where it belonged, there was garbage and bottles everywhere, it was at least an hour of frantic cleaning before it looked half normal again. So we finish that, then spend another 45 minutes trying to figure out all of the open tabs on our computer, which was honestly impossible. We had to be creative with every single one of them, because there was no way to really track who had paid for what.
Then we look at the clock. 11:20 pm. M mentions that the conference is done for the day at 11:45 pm and it is up to us whether we stay open or not.
Actually, that's not even true, he says "Hey, we should stay open for another go-round!!" And then we both double over, clutching our sides with amusement that we would even consider doing so. Hoo-hoo. Ha-ha. No fucking way. There is a pub 30 feet away from us, it is open until 1:00 am, they can go there.
So we crank it into overdrive, do our cleaning and print out the sales reports from the computer at about 11:45. Once the reports are printed, we are done selling anything. We can't swipe into the computer and do a sale because the computer thinks it's the next day and everything will be dated wrong for the rest of the month, so basically this is the very last thing we do, except for doing our float and deposit for our cash out.
12:05 (we have officially been closed for 65 minutes by now and have told 110 very pissed off people that no, we are not open, but again, THERE IS A PUB 30 FEET AWAY. SEE??? WHERE I AM POINTING?? This isn't good enough, we should keep everything open until they decide to shut it down because they ARE SPENDING SO MUCH MONEY IN THIS HOTEL!!. Well, You know what? Besides the shitty tips we got, M and I don't see a dime of that money, so really, it's not our problem.)
But then, one guy really takes the cake.
I am sealing our deposit, the lights are off, when Guinness Man walks up to the bar. He is already seething when he gets there. The whole time he talks to me, it's in this 'I have been dealing with you morons all day and I should get an award for staying patient because you are so beneath me" tone of voice.
GM: (pushes aside the sign on the counter that says Open: 3pm-11:00pm
) I would like a can of Guinness.
Me: I am very sorry, but we closed at 11:00. I do think they have Guinness at the pub...?? (the pub that I JUST SAW YOU walk out of)
GM: Yes, but they don't have cans, only draft.
Me: Oh, well I do apologize but we are closed and all of the beer has been locked..........
GM: I think you can make an exception
ok. Now, I have been working since 8am. I am in. No. Mood. I still have adrenalin careening around in my body and I am shaky and exhausted.
Me: I'm sorry, but we have logged out of the computer and have no cash in the drawer, everything is locked up. We are closed.
GM: You can make an exception. Do you have any idea how much our group is spending on this conference???
Me: (It's like I am not actually speaking real words. he refuses to actually listen to a word I am saying. If he would look over my shoulder he would see the padlocks on the coolers and the empty cash drawer...)
M: (comes back from dropping off the keys in the office) We are CLOSED.
GM: I KNOW you can make an exception. You are being strict, just to be an ass-hole, aren't you?
M: No sir. We closed at 11:00. There is nothing I can do.
GM: So all the money we have spent in this hotel all week means nothing to you ? What are you making, minimum wage???
OK, by now I am near tears just listening to this. I just want to go home, the last thing I need is a scene.
M: That's interesting, because half your group walked out on their tabs earlier and we really can't afford to lose any more money to you guys tonight.
GM: I. Want. A, Can. Of. Guinness.
M: I'm sorry
GM: I don't think you really are.
M: Well, I'm not NOW.
M grabs the deposit from me, says "Go home. Thanks for your hard work"
and walks right past Guinness Man without a second look.
I am sure we will hear about this from the general manager, but for the moment, it was sooo sweet.
Our lounge has approximately 70 seats, including a large computer desk, business area. On Friday night the hotel had a conference of ranchers/cattle breeders and the doors opened for what we thought was a 20 minute break. Turns out it was a 2 hour break and we were immediately flooded by at least 110 people, all at exactly the same time, all of them wealthy, half drunk ranchers who like to drink hard and expect to get what they want, when they want it. These are the guys who go purple in the face and kick up a HUGE fuss if something doesn't go their way (as a very small bonus, they are likely to call you "Little Lady" in a Texan accent, which, when I am not losing my mind from stress, I can find endearing).
It was just...God. I can hardly think about it. Every inch of space in the lounge was taken, they were continually wandering around with drinks like they were at a cocktail party and it was beyond impossible to keep track of who was ordering what, what tab went with what group, when they REFUSED TO STAND OR SIT STILL FOR 5 SECONDS!!!! But even if they had completely crossed the room and were nowhere nearby when I finally got to them with their drink?? Boy howdy, they damn well expected you to track them down because they are super-special and ARE SPENDING SOOO MUCH MONEY AT THIS HOTEL WE NEED TO ALL BEND OVER AND TAKE WHATEVER ABUSE THEY CHOOSE TO GIVE US.
And through all of this there is me on the floor and my manager, M, behind the bar. And these guys wants multiple rounds. NOW. Did I mention that I am very new to this??? Like brand new? Still shaky holding a tray of drinks-new???
Total. Nightmare. I spent 2 hours on the verge of tears. In the end a bunch of them walked out on their tabs which was fabulous as well, especially when they could see that there were 2 people serving 110 customers and we were working our asses off.
Anyhoo, the lounge technically closes at 11:00. The rule is that we have to serve anyone who comes in up until 11:00 exactly, but we are allowed to tell them that it is last call and there will only be one round for them. Still a pain in the butt when big groups come in a 10:59 and want food and blended drinks and all of the booze that has been locked away as part of our closing, but manageable.
So after the crowd leaves, the lounge honestly looks like there has been a day long house party, it was disgusting. Not a single chair was where it belonged, there was garbage and bottles everywhere, it was at least an hour of frantic cleaning before it looked half normal again. So we finish that, then spend another 45 minutes trying to figure out all of the open tabs on our computer, which was honestly impossible. We had to be creative with every single one of them, because there was no way to really track who had paid for what.
Then we look at the clock. 11:20 pm. M mentions that the conference is done for the day at 11:45 pm and it is up to us whether we stay open or not.
Actually, that's not even true, he says "Hey, we should stay open for another go-round!!" And then we both double over, clutching our sides with amusement that we would even consider doing so. Hoo-hoo. Ha-ha. No fucking way. There is a pub 30 feet away from us, it is open until 1:00 am, they can go there.
So we crank it into overdrive, do our cleaning and print out the sales reports from the computer at about 11:45. Once the reports are printed, we are done selling anything. We can't swipe into the computer and do a sale because the computer thinks it's the next day and everything will be dated wrong for the rest of the month, so basically this is the very last thing we do, except for doing our float and deposit for our cash out.
12:05 (we have officially been closed for 65 minutes by now and have told 110 very pissed off people that no, we are not open, but again, THERE IS A PUB 30 FEET AWAY. SEE??? WHERE I AM POINTING?? This isn't good enough, we should keep everything open until they decide to shut it down because they ARE SPENDING SO MUCH MONEY IN THIS HOTEL!!. Well, You know what? Besides the shitty tips we got, M and I don't see a dime of that money, so really, it's not our problem.)
But then, one guy really takes the cake.
I am sealing our deposit, the lights are off, when Guinness Man walks up to the bar. He is already seething when he gets there. The whole time he talks to me, it's in this 'I have been dealing with you morons all day and I should get an award for staying patient because you are so beneath me" tone of voice.
GM: (pushes aside the sign on the counter that says Open: 3pm-11:00pm
) I would like a can of Guinness.Me: I am very sorry, but we closed at 11:00. I do think they have Guinness at the pub...?? (the pub that I JUST SAW YOU walk out of)
GM: Yes, but they don't have cans, only draft.
Me: Oh, well I do apologize but we are closed and all of the beer has been locked..........
GM: I think you can make an exception
ok. Now, I have been working since 8am. I am in. No. Mood. I still have adrenalin careening around in my body and I am shaky and exhausted.
Me: I'm sorry, but we have logged out of the computer and have no cash in the drawer, everything is locked up. We are closed.
GM: You can make an exception. Do you have any idea how much our group is spending on this conference???
Me:
(It's like I am not actually speaking real words. he refuses to actually listen to a word I am saying. If he would look over my shoulder he would see the padlocks on the coolers and the empty cash drawer...)M: (comes back from dropping off the keys in the office) We are CLOSED.
GM: I KNOW you can make an exception. You are being strict, just to be an ass-hole, aren't you?
M: No sir. We closed at 11:00. There is nothing I can do.
GM: So all the money we have spent in this hotel all week means nothing to you ? What are you making, minimum wage???
OK, by now I am near tears just listening to this. I just want to go home, the last thing I need is a scene.
M: That's interesting, because half your group walked out on their tabs earlier and we really can't afford to lose any more money to you guys tonight.
GM: I. Want. A, Can. Of. Guinness.
M: I'm sorry
GM: I don't think you really are.
M: Well, I'm not NOW.
M grabs the deposit from me, says "Go home. Thanks for your hard work"
and walks right past Guinness Man without a second look.
I am sure we will hear about this from the general manager, but for the moment, it was sooo sweet.
yourself, and some cookies. I'm sorry you got screwed on your tips. 
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