The Man With no Gas

[figgyx]

230 in the morning a young man approaches the front desk of the little hotel I work at - he has a gas can in his hand. He wants to know if we have any gas on property he can have - we don't. He asks to use the phone and I comply but nobody answers. He wants to know where he can get gas. There is no gas station open on our side of this little town at that hour. Sadly, I have to turn him away since there is nothing I can really do for him. I watch him depart the lobby but not our lot. So I go outside and geez - catch him climbing out of the back of one of our guest's pick-up trucks. Huh? Is he really going through parked vehicles hoping to steal some gas? I am forced to call the police and ask for a drive through of our lot. What a moron.

[Victory Sabre]

I, kinda felt sorry for him, till I read he was sneaking around other cars searching for gas. That's just not right.

[wolfie]

Too bad he didn't find a full fuel can in the back of a pickup, and steal it. With the pickup being a Cummins Ram/PowerStroke F250 or F350/Duramax 2500 or 3500, and the fuel can (red) being the wrong colour for the contents. Welcome to a 4-figure repair bill.

[Argabarga]

I was just about to say, I dare him to take that can in the back of my Dad's truck that says "GASOLINE" on the side, but, only if you look/sniff carefully will you find out that it has kerosene in it for a space heater.

yeah, your motor will just LOVE that

[Jester]

My second parody song of the night. To the tune of "A Horse With No Name," with my sincerest apologies to America:


I called the police on the man with no gas
It felt good to nail his thievin' ass.
And the police will remember this man
Cause there ain't no one else here with an empty gas can
Dumb, dumb, dumb dumb dumb dumb, dumb dumb dumb, dumb, dumb
Dumb, dumb, dumb dumb dumb dumb, dumb dumb dumb, dumb, dumb

[Marmalady]

I called the police on the man with no gas

And now I have an earworm for the rest of today.......

(not that I really mind, I love that song)

[thehuckster]

230 in the morning a young man approaches the front desk of the little hotel I work at - he has a gas can in his hand. He wants to know if we have any gas on property he can have - we don't.

230 in the morning a young man approaches our gas station counter I work at - pillow and blanket in his hand. He wants to know if we have a bed he can sleep on - we don't.

230 in the morning a young man approaches our bar counter I work at - wearing a beesuit. He wants to know if we have any beehives he can extract honey from - we don't.

230 in the morning a young man approaches our pharmacy counter I work at - he has an iPad in his hand. He wants to know if there are any Apple geniuses on the property he can ask for help from - we don't.

[dalesys]

230 in the morning a young man bangs on the dentist's door: "Doc, ya gotta help me, 'cause my tooth hurty!"

[PatchO'Black]

I called the police on the man with no gas

And remember to catch Jester: In Concert when he comes to your town!

[bainsidhe]

'cause my tooth hurty!"

aHA! *points* Saw what you did there!

[Jester]

And remember to catch Jester: In Concert when he comes to your town!

Oh, HELL no. I may be able to write them, but I have about as much actual musical talent as I have knowledge about how to repair a jet engine. I.e., none. Trust me, not hearing me sing is a treat to people, especially so to those who have heard me sing. (The singular exception to this is my karaoke rendition of Bob Dylan, which can scarily accurate at times.)

No, I'll just keep writing them and hope that someone who sings better than a dying crow with a crushed larynx does me the honor of performing them.

[dalesys]

... my karaoke rendition of Bob Dylan...

... like a dog with its hind leg caught in a barb-wire fence ...
[/The Dillards 1964]