Silly questions

[AFpheonix]

So, we have silly people call us late at night. I don't know why this is, but here's a couple of their latest questions that had us all doubled over. These are courtesy of my overnight pharmacist.

1)Is it contagious?
A gentleman called, wanting to know if he could catch lung cancer from his wife. He wanted to make sure, because they like to have sex, and they're "very oral."
He was advised that lung cancer itself was not contagious, but to be careful of any of the meds she was taking, they could work their way into assorted bodily fluids.

2) Dental care
A lady was brushing her teeth one evening, and she had 2 open tubes on her bathroom counter. One was toothpaste, one wasn't. Guess which one she grabbed to squeeze onto her toothbrush? Yum, Preparation H!
I'm sure she won't have any swelling or itchy burning in her mouth for awhile.

[trunks2k]

2) Dental care
A lady was brushing her teeth one evening, and she had 2 open tubes on her bathroom counter. One was toothpaste, one wasn't. Guess which one she grabbed to squeeze onto her toothbrush? Yum, Preparation H!
I'm sure she won't have any swelling or itchy burning in her mouth for awhile.

I did that once with Clearasil. I was at some weekend thing for the summer camp I used to go to, and had two tubes of stuff in my bathroom bag. One had toothpaste, the other had clearasil, both tubes were the same size, shape and general color - as was the stuff inside the tubes. I wasn't paying attention and put the clearasil on my toothbrush and started brushing. Took me a little while to figure out what I did.

"hmmm... this toothpaste tastes funky. Where's that minty freshness it's supposed to have. And why isn't it foaming up at like it normal- ewwwwwwwwwwww"