Developed Pet Peeves

[AmbrosiaWriter]

So, I work at a shipping company, giving quotes and all that entails.

I understand that not everyone knows the ins and outs of shipping, and how we price things. So I don't get too annoyed when I see that someone has requested a quote and has only given me weight, or has only given me dimensions.

Giving me nothing at all irritates me, but I shoot them a ballpark (up to 50 pounds, up to 100 pounds) and then ask for them to give me more specific details.

What has really started to grate on my nerves:



You should know!
Me: So, up to 47 pounds, it would be around $XXX. I can be more accurate if can verify the length, width, and height.

Them: It's a small suitcase.

Me: I'm sorry, there is no universal standards for suitcases, so I do not know the dimensions for a "small" suitcase.

Them: It's just a small suitcase.

Me: I understand that, but I need the specific length, width, and height measurements.

Them: Whatever a small suitcase is, just use that. A small suitcase. *Spoken as if I'm a child who only speaks dolphin*

Me: .....*foaming at mouth over the keyboard*



If I repeat it, it'll help:

Them: Oh it's going to be 44 pounds.

Me: Yes, I understand that, I need the dimensions. Length, width, and height.

Them: 44 pounds.

~Repeat ad neuseum~

Them: IT'S 44 POUNDS! HOW IS THAT HARD TO UNDERSTAND!

Okay jackass, actual weight does not magically correlate to some kind of mystical size that all 44-pound boxes are 13 x 13 x 13 inches or something. Has some kind of evil gnome raced through the house of all my customers, stealing anything that can be used to measure a box? It's not hard! You can even do it in centimeters if you'd like!




Well, it's A measurement:

Them: It's a 52-inch screen TV. *Spoken proudly, as if he's a special snowflake because he knows how to read a number off a box*

Me: 52-inches is the hypotenuse, or the length of the diagonal of the TV. I need the standard measurements.

~Repeat at least 5 times until they understand that I can't use the measurement they just gave me~

Them: *Snotty* Can't you google it?

I could, but first of all that's your job to have that information together, because I have tons of other quotes that I need to get done - also my computer is old and slow as molasses on Pluto. Additionally, two 52-inch TVs can have completely different dimensions and weights, so no.

Also this TV one happens at least three-four times a week.



That's too much!

TOO BAD!



That's too much II

Them: No no, young lady, that can't be right.

Me: *rage on face, smile in voice* I've done the calculations three times for you, sir, this is the price.

~Repeat Twice, with customer shifting into more gender debasing terminology.~

Them: You must've done it wrong. Let me speak to your boss.

Me: ... Okay. *transfers*

~ Two minutes later ~

Boss: If that's the price she gave you that's the price. I can't discount it. *ppaauuuuseeee* Nope. *SLAM!*




In Conclusion:

If you're going to ask for a shipping quote from a company, please have at least an estimation of weight and dimensions. It makes everyone's lives easier, and you don't get shocked when we charge your credit card for an additional $100 because you lied about the size and weight of your box. Which we can do, because you agreed to it in writing!

[Teskeria]

oh a SMALL suitcase? so it's about 42"x52"x85" correct?

[Argabarga]

oh a SMALL suitcase? so it's about 42"x52"x85" correct?

Yeah, but don't worry, they pack light

[csquared]

Me: I'm sorry, there is no universal standards for suitcases, so I do not know the dimensions for a "small" suitcase.

So well stated, and yet they still don't get it.

Them: IT'S 44 POUNDS! HOW IS THAT HARD TO UNDERSTAND!

If only you could say:
That is easy to understand. What part of "Length, width, and height" do you find so hard to understand?

Them: *Snotty* Can't you google it?

Can't you measure the box?

Boss: If that's the price she gave you that's the price. I can't discount it. *ppaauuuuseeee* Nope. *SLAM!*

Your boss should say:
Your right. She got it wrong. She should have quoted (2 x price quote). Would you like to deal with me or with her?

[Bright_Star]

A "small" suitcase is "small" in that a "small" drink used to be "medium".

[Sandiercy]

I get people all the time saying that such and such a game is too much and that they can purchase it somewhere else for cheaper. I ask them where they saw it cheaper and then go to that store's website and compare our prices. My price is usually about $20 cheaper than theirs. I love seeing a customer get all red in the face when I show them.

Yes we do have the cheapest prices in Canada and I can prove it.

[MoonCat]

Really, the only correct answer to "it's cheaper somewhere else!" is..."Then buy it there."

I've had people ask me to quote them a price for "a small ad."

Yes, sir, what are you advertising? In what part of the paper? A line ad or a display ad? Print only or print and online? How many days for each? Border, color, graphics...?

"It's just a small ad."

*sigh*

[RealUnimportant]

"One ticket, please."

... To?

"Just a ticket."

[Crossbow]

"One ticket, please."

... To?

"Just a ticket."

Sure, no problem! Here's your ticket for gross stupidity. That'll be a $5000 fine, payable in cash, to me.

[Andara Bledin]

*chugs some aspirin*

Just reading that was giving me a headache.

"Ok, is it bigger than a breadbox? *pause* But I thought you said it was small..."

"Well, is it XX lbs of feathers or XX lbs of lead? Well, if you can tell me the density of the item, and how much of that weight is height versus length and depth, then I can calculate the actual size of your item."

"Oh, well, is that a widescreen or is it NTSC? LED, LCD, projection, CRT? Does it have a stand? Are you going to put it in a box, and how much padding will it have?"

Why do they think that any of that should be easier than just measuring the damn things?

Really, the only correct answer to "it's cheaper somewhere else!" is..."Then buy it there."

The salespeople at my workplace are allowed and encouraged to say just that. For bonus points, they ask where it is so that we can buy from there, too.

Nobody at all is surprised when we get the order an hour later, which happens about 95% of the time.

^-.-^

[hinakiba777]

Them: It's just a small suitcase.

Me: I understand that, but I need the specific length, width, and height measurements.

I had a girl I knew once ask to borrow my small suitcase. Now I had a lot of luggage in my dorm room at the time because it was just after winter holidays, so I had a lot of stuff I had dragged back. At the time I had three bags I would classify as "small".

Blue Bag= 13w/18L/7D
Heart Bag=11w/24L/13D
Blue Duffle Bag= Smaller than the heart bag, larger than the blue bag. I don't have it at my current apartment to measure.

So I asked her which one she wanted it. She just kept saying the small one and getting more irate like this customer. After a while I was ready to kick her out of my dorm when she spots my hobo bag style purse.

Her= That one! Your SMALL suitcase! *pointing at my purse*
Me= My purse?!
Her= No, the brown suitcase!*pointing at my purse*
Me= That brown bag is my purse.
Her= Oh, can i borrow that suitcase? *pointing at my schoolbag, which has my textbooks in it*
Me=Please go ask someoen else. Please.

*Spoken as if I'm a child who only speaks dolphin*

Oh I love when that happens! Not even being sarcastic. Because then I get to use my "sweetie" voice. Which comes in three subtle versions.
1) I am trying to stay out of trouble
2) I am manipulating you.
3) You are an idiot and the more annoyed you get the happier I will be.

To the untrained ear it all sounds the same, but I know I'm laughing at you and that's all that matters.

Them: Oh it's going to be 44 pounds.

Me: Yes, I understand that, I need the dimensions. Length, width, and height.

Them: 44 pounds.

To play devil's advocate I have dealt with a few companies that base shipping costs solely on weight. However, you did tell him explicitly that you needed the dimensions, so at that point he is just because an SC.

Boss: If that's the price she gave you that's the price. I can't discount it. *ppaauuuuseeee* Nope. *SLAM!*

LOVE your boss!

[AmbrosiaWriter]

To play devil's advocate I have dealt with a few companies that base shipping costs solely on weight. However, you did tell him explicitly that you needed the dimensions, so at that point he is just because an SC.

Oh yeah I've worked with shipping companies that also only deal in weight. Typically whenever we have to truck anything to a port or warehouse to prepare to send it to a port for sea service. What's even better is that sea service is based SOLELY on volume! Always a fun time trying to explain that to an irate discount-sniffer.

Yeah, I get that people don't always know what I need, that's why I try to make my requests as plan as possible so that they can give me at least approximations and I can then also give them an approximation on the price. I can give them a rough estimate based solely or weight or solely on dimensions, but to give them an accurate "This is how much it will cost you" I need to know both.

Why? Because the air freight companies we deal with rate based on which weight is higher, actual or volume. Yes! We have a fancy little calculation (very simply, actually) that tells us what "weight" the size of your box correlates to!

Example:

A 20 x 20 x 20 inch box has a volume weight of about 57 pounds. So that is the lowest "weight" you will be charged for. If you put 60 pounds of stuff into that same box, you will be charged 60 pounds, rather than 57.

Awesome, huh? Imagine explaining that to people on the phone!

[hinakiba777]

Example:

A 20 x 20 x 20 inch box has a volume weight of about 57 pounds. So that is the lowest "weight" you will be charged for. If you put 60 pounds of stuff into that same box, you will be charged 60 pounds, rather than 57.

Awesome, huh? Imagine explaining that to people on the phone!

I don't understand.....I mean....

That makes PERFECT BLOODY SENSE! Why are people confused by this?! Why?!

I once went to ship two boxes and was told me what the cost would be, and that if they boxes were more than 100 pounds total, I would be charged extra. Turns out the lad misinformed me. It was 50 pounds each. One ended up being 45lbs and the other 53lbs. So I was going to have to be charged extra for the 53lbs one. I offered to just unpack and repack the boxes, the man running the drop off looked horrified. Told me to just give him the boxes and he'd just forget the additioanl fee as a goodwill gesture. Nice man.

[lobo94]

My pet peeves and what I'd like to say

1.)People who take forever to get to the point-leave out the drama and stuff not relevant, please.

2.)People who interrupt-if you interrupt, you derail my train of thought.

3.)People who are clueless when asked for things like account and PIN #s-even more so when they seem blissfull in their ignorance.-we give you that information for a reason.

4.)Fast talkers-you talk fast, I don't listen or type fast.

5.)People who think they are lawyers or say they are lawyers-this is not the court room. You don't need to play the lawyer card or otherwise act like a jerk-do they teach that inlaw school?

6.)Kids crying in the background-either put them in another room, or go into another room.

7.)People who immediately start to spell-I'm not an idiot. If I have a question about spelling, I will ask.

8.)People in the background who keep throwing in their two cents. Hey, you in the background-shut up.

[Food Lady]

Sorry--I always spell my last name because it's extremely uncommon.