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First time smokers gotta love'em

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  • First time smokers gotta love'em

    I work at a local (name of store) store, for those of you who aren't familiar with (Name of store) think 7-11 minus the slurpees . This kid came in last night, it was his 18th birthday so he wanted to buy his first pack of cigarettes, ok fine. After purchasing said pack he and his friend start browsing the store as he opens the pack and starts sniffing the cigarettes, as I'm mopping the floor he walks up behind me conversation as follows:




    Customer: Excuse me but I have something to ask.

    Me: Sure, what's up?

    Customer: Do these have tobacco in them? (admittedly I was a little confused)

    Me: Yeah, they're cigarettes.



    He then gave me the look you give someone when they either say something stupid or they just aren't getting it and very slowly asked again.



    Customer: I.know.that. But do they have tobacco in them?



    Alright, what school health class and just say no assembly did this kid fail? *facepalm*
    Last edited by MadMike; 07-31-2012, 12:39 AM.

  • #2
    Alright, what school health class and just say no assembly did this kid fail?
    All of them.
    When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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    • #3
      Quoth AmandaLaederich View Post
      Customer: Do these have tobacco in them? (admittedly I was a little confused)
      Me: Yeah, they're cigarettes.
      Customer: I.know.that. But do they have tobacco in them?
      I think my brain just 'sploded.
      Ne auderis delere orbem rigidum meum! - Don't you dare erase my hard disk!

      This is Tech Support, not Customer Service.
      What's the difference?
      We're allowed to tell you "no".

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      • #4
        Quoth AmandaLaederich View Post
        Customer: Excuse me but I have something to ask.

        Me: Sure, what's up?

        Customer: Do these have tobacco in them? (admittedly I was a little confused)

        Me: Yeah, they're cigarettes.

        He then gave me the look you give someone when they either say something stupid or they just aren't getting it and very slowly asked again.

        Customer: I. know. that. But do they have tobacco in them?
        What does he think is in a cigarette, a baby elephant?! Sorry, but his question fell five hundred miles away from making any sort of sense whatsoever!

        Dude, don't start any new habits. You can't afford to lose any more brain cells.
        Last edited by XCashier; 07-31-2012, 04:57 AM.
        I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
        My LiveJournal
        A page we can all agree with!

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        • #5
          It's those moments that make you want to throw their idiocy back at them.

          Customer: I.know.that. But do they have tobacco in them?

          "Yes. They. Do. They're. Cigarettes."

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          • #6
            I suspect this means he's been smoking clove cigarettes up until then. Still, I'm not sure how he could be that ignorant about what the default cigarette is.

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            • #7
              He might be confusing them with e-ciggs as well. They don't have any tobacco, and depending on what brand you get it's mostly water vapor, glycerol, and then the nicotine (or flavoring!)

              Though you'd have to be really stupid to confuse e-ciggs with real stuff... Which I would not put it past this guy.
              My Writing Blog -Updated 05/06/2013
              It's so I can get ideas out of my head, I decided to put it in a blog in case people are bored or are curious as to the (many) things in progress.

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              • #8
                Maybe he was hoping they'd be something more.... Canniboid?
                This was one of those times where my mouth says "have a nice day" but my brain says "go step on a Lego". - RegisterAce
                I can't make something magically appear to fulfill all your hopes and dreams. Believe me, if I could I'd be the first person I'd help. - Trixie

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                • #9
                  His complete disjointed connection to reality and cigarettes reminds me of a Goon Show joke.

                  Seagoon and Eccles are stowed away in a ships hold. A running Gag in this particular episode is smoking a "gorrilla".

                  Seagoon "Here, have a gorrilla"
                  *Gorrilla beats up Eccles*
                  Eccles "No thanks. Here have a chimpanzee. They're milder!"
                  "On a scale of 1 to banana, whats your favourite colour of the alphabet?"
                  Regards, Lord Baron Darth von Vaderham, esq. Middle brother to mharbourgirl & Squeaksmyalias

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                  • #10
                    "No, it has Hot Pocket style filling in them. Did you need tobacco instead?"
                    What a waste of skin.
                    "Don't tell me what I can't do!" - John Locke

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                    • #11
                      Quoth ApolloSZ View Post

                      Goon Show joke.

                      Seagoon "Here, have a gorrilla"
                      *Gorrilla beats up Eccles*
                      Eccles: "These gorillas are strong!"

                      Ying Tong iddle I po

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                      • #12
                        Wow. Just wow.

                        Why do I get the feeling that this guy will be nominated for a Darwin award before too much longer?

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                        • #13
                          Just want to say that is my favourite Goon Show of them all...
                          This was one of those times where my mouth says "have a nice day" but my brain says "go step on a Lego". - RegisterAce
                          I can't make something magically appear to fulfill all your hopes and dreams. Believe me, if I could I'd be the first person I'd help. - Trixie

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