About calling you back? Yeah, no.

[Oniontears]

This could almost go in Sightings, since it technically didn't happen to me. Except it did. Well, let me explain.

I got a different job in phone sales - literal phone sales, calling up people whose mobile (cell phone for all you non-Aussies) contracts have expired to sign them back up again, offer them a new handset etc.

I call this particular man about 3 times in one day. Each time he told me he wanted me to call him back in half an hour to an hour or so. Yep, fine, I did that. 4th phone call he's finally ready to talk. I'm on the phone with him for at least 10 minutes talking over plans, coverage, cost, internet, smartphones etc. He sounds like an older guy and professes not to be very good with technology. He's a bit gruff but mostly pleasant. He decides he wants to go to some research on smart phones, so I offer to call him back next week. He agrees.

Now, the system we use, you can't hang up the call if you need to set up a call-back for later on. The customer usually hangs up first, anyway, but this time, nope. So I'm entering the time and date for the call-back to be scheduled, still with my headset on, and I hear him say to someone else, "She was nice!" I smile a little, glad my persistence and patience is paying off, if not monetarily.
"As you said the other day, I'd like to fuck that!"

...

I froze, finished the call-back set-up and ended the call. I just feel so... sad and gross.

[Teskeria]

It is rather gross, but at least he thought the phone was hung up and didn't say it to you directly.

[AmbrosiaWriter]

It's always a bit unsettling when you realize that someone is considering you in that manner that you don't know, don't like, etc.

For example, whenever I'm online gaming, I rarely think about it. I'm having a good time, then some dickbag will make a comment like that in reference to me or my character (I only play my own gender if I can.) Since whenever I play games I consider the character to be an extension of myself (especially in MMORPGs) I get really uncomfortable and annoyed.

The worst time was when I was playing, dominating in the game, laughing with all the people in the game, then one socially-stunted jerk-in-the-box states:

"Ugh, why the fuck are you so good. You should be spending more time blowing guys than playing this! What a fucking waste."

I remained dead silent, and apparently alarmed my boyfriend who was in the room but hadn't heard the comment. Luckily, the leader of the game booted that jackass instantly and everyone remained quiet for a minute or two before trying to convince me that they enjoyed playing with me and that they didn't want me to leave the game because of one idiot who couldn't handle a girl with good hand-eye-coordination. It made me feel a bit better, but I still felt so gross and disrespected that I called a half hour break to take a shower.


The best you can do is brush it off, and hearten yourself with the fact that you're too good for them. They'd like to, but have about the same chance as the Heat Mizar on Pluto.

[Oniontears]

It is rather gross, but at least he thought the phone was hung up and didn't say it to you directly.

Very true!

I guess I was mostly just shocked, at first, and then disheartened because it seemed so UNNECESSARY. We spoke on the phone about your mobile plan. How does that evoke that kind of response, and did it HAVE to be said out loud?!

[AmbrosiaWriter]

Very true!

I guess I was mostly just shocked, at first, and then disheartened because it seemed so UNNECESSARY. We spoke on the phone about your mobile plan. How does that evoke that kind of response, and did it HAVE to be said out loud?!

For men with tiny cocks and a huge ego? Yes. It had to be said out loud. They love the sound of their own voice and in a weird way them boasting strokes their ego more than someone else complimenting them.

Can you shift his account to someone else, explaining why you feel uncomfortable? Or can you just drop the account/not call him back? You'll probably be wicked uncomfortable speaking to him again, and I wouldn't blame you.

[Skarredmind]

You know... I really just don't get some of the men out there. I really, really don't.

1) No offense implied here, but I have no idea what you (or anyone else online or on the phone LOOKS like). A pretty voice isn't all it takes... for... well, any guy I've ever knows. Its just... weird.

2) As a guy, I've THOUGHT this kind of thing before... but never open my mouth about it... its just tacky, and rude... well and stupid too, because if you're saying that odds are you aren't ever actually DOING it.

3) Ambrosia, I've trolled the "Females don't play the Craft of War!" in my MMO's... but I do it with total sarcasm. Mainly because several of my friends (who are most assuredly female) play with me in my guilds. (Not that I've been on the craft of war since the war in the stars MMO came out.) Mysogyny really has no place in gaming. In fact in my tabletop D&D games I was often the ONLY male player in college. I also don't understand why some of the boys only wanna play with other boys. (Personally I like females... lol)

PS Abrosia, is that a sister of battle in your avatar?

[violiavampyr]

Wow, really the only male player? For several years I was the only female player (untill recently).
Eta: Sexual innuendo and non innuendo has never really bothered me. I guess it's because the people I spend the most time with are fairly unfiltered.

[fish3k1]

"Ugh, why the fuck are you so good. You should be spending more time blowing guys than playing this! What a fucking waste."

Firstly, I'm so glad this guy was in the minority in your game. Sadly, this seems to be a prevalent attitude amongst the more vocal section of gaming culture.

Secondly, I'd suggest hopping on over to this site to share your story. It's basically a collection of similar kinds of crap that female gamers put up with.

[RealUnimportant]

My wife got me into MMORPGs, and we've always gone for guilds with "grown-ups" in charge... It's always fun to troll new guildmates by having the girls saying that no girls play the game, but it's nearly never malicious - and those few times ends up that way, the person responsible is looking for a new guild before they get to repeat themselves.

[Skarredmind]

Wow, really the only male player? For several years I was the only female player (untill recently).

I miss those days. LOL. I have to say though the female gamers were FAR more bloodyminded and violent than any group of males I've played it. It was fun.

[violiavampyr]

It's been a mixed bag for me. I've known the ultraviolet type (usually they are fairly new to the RPG thing), the wanting heavy story type, and the come over already drunk and fall asleep on the couch type. Almost always the third will slam my ability to role play/keep up with the game (which varie depending on the quality of the GMing and my interest in the system).

[AmbrosiaWriter]

3) Ambrosia, I've trolled the "Females don't play the Craft of War!" in my MMO's... but I do it with total sarcasm.

PS Abrosia, is that a sister of battle in your avatar?

I don't mind when I can clearly tell it's a joke. The silly "Pics or it didn't happen" or "omg! Femalez on teh interwebs! Get the pokeball!" Heck I make that pokeball joke when I startle guys into realizing I am a girl when I first talk on a voice service. (I've also been playing MMOs since MuDs, I kinda miss the texted based games! XD)

Also, yes, it's a Canonness, the leader of the Sororitas chapter. It was a character I used on the Space Marine (video game) board I was on for a while, since I was a girl they didn't mind me creating a female character and actually really enjoyed how the hell I explained a sororitas being in the middle of a Black Templar chapter.

[Oniontears]

For men with tiny cocks and a huge ego? Yes. It had to be said out loud. They love the sound of their own voice and in a weird way them boasting strokes their ego more than someone else complimenting them.

Can you shift his account to someone else, explaining why you feel uncomfortable? Or can you just drop the account/not call him back? You'll probably be wicked uncomfortable speaking to him again, and I wouldn't blame you.

I probably would have dropped the account anyway, tbh, since it didn't look like I was going to get a sale out of it, and I work commission-only.