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Hi Ya'll! i'm back!
For those of you who don't know, I work at "Anthracites" which has a completely open return policy. I've seen things NOBODY should ever see. *shudder*
anyway, here are a few doozy's from this week.
1. the prank caller.
well, we think she was a prank caller. A lady called to ask if we sold Memory foam pillows. Yes, we do. She is pleased. then wants to know if she can put it on her face and if it will cause a bad reaction ...with her Butt cream. that she puts on her face. Butt. Cream. as in, cream that goes on your butt. I told the lady the pillows were hypoallergenic, and that if she was getting reactions...it might be because she was putting something on her face, that was not meant to go on her face....
2. Officer Grant is awesome.
Our LP has a friend who is a cop. He visits us every now and then to make sure everything's going smoothly in the Loss prevention area. He's a neat guy. Ex military, BIG. we're talking muscles like Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson and a voice like James Earl Jones. The Electronics area is right by my desk, and some teenage boys happened to be loitering there on a tuesday afternoon. they had a LARGE backpack,and were in general acting suspicious. Officer Grant was talking to me, and i pointed the boys out. We've been having issues with kids that have been shoplifting lately, gathering in groups throughout the store, So he strolled over there to see what was what.
OG(Officer Grant(
B1(Boy 1 (with backpack)
B2/B3
OG"HOW ARE YOU FINE YOUNG GENTLEMAN THIS LOVELY AFTERNOON?" (Officer G has two volume levels. loud, and F&*$(%& LOUD)
B1(mumbles)" Uh...fine."
OG "NOW , YOU BOYS KNOW ITS NOT A GOOD IDEA TO BRING A BACKPACK IN A STORE LIKE THIS, YOU MIGHT GIVE PEOPLE THE WRONG IMPRESSION! YOU DON"T WANT ME TO GET THE WRONG IMPRESSION DO YOU? (Insert Giant scary smile, puts hands on his hips.* Our cops wear short sleeved uniforms. OG's biceps nearly rip out of his when he bends his arms.)
B2/B3 "No sir. Sorry Sir. We won't do it again sir!"
OG" EXCELLENT! NOW WHERE ARE YOU BOYS HEADED AFTER THIS?"
(All three chorus) TO CHURCH SIR! WE"RE GONNA GO STRAIGHT TO CHURCH AND GET SAVED SIR!"
OG."WONDERFUL!" (to me, slightly quieter) "I think i put the fear of God in em."
Manager and I could not stop laughing.
3: I'm pretty sure that's a fake ID...
5 minutes before closing two nights ago, a lady came up wanting to return shoes. no receipt but used her store card. No prob. i can look that up! oh..she doesn't have the card with her... again, I can look that up! She punches in her social, i take her id to match to the screen. the name matches, the addresses don't. here's where it gets weird. her license was state of Florida. the address printed on it, was State of Arizona. and the photo was at least 20 years old. Procedure in this situation is to complete the refund, since it will go back to the card, and will not be available to be spent for 24 hours. Then i can notify the manager. I scan the card, and i scan the box. purchased 8 months ago, $48.47 or something like that. hit ok. it comes back as cash. I did a double take. it CAN"T come back as cash. if you are scanning a store card to look up the receipt, it HAS to refund the store card. Even if you split the purchase between cash and card, it will still refund the maximum amount it can to the card first, before cash. Now, because of protocol i finished the transaction. then she wants to buy a BUNCH of stuff. with her printout card. I politely refer her to the registers, as i have been told not to do purchases at CS anyway. (Also i want to call the manager and tell them about this as soon as possible.) she flipped out.
Fake ID lady :FIL
moi: M
M: "Purchases can be made up front ma'am ." *big smile*
FIL: I"ve paid back here before.
M: " I understand, but at this time, the manager has not authorized me to do purchases back here since it's so close to closing. "
FIL: "WHy don't you just say that you want me to get the fuck out of here so you can close you little bitch?"
M: "Because that is not what i said. I told you. Management does not want purchases made back here. You may not check out here. You may check out up front, at the Cash registers that are provided for you. Have a good evening."
FIL: You could be nicer bitch. I'm gonna screw you over so bad...you'll never get a job again."
M"*reaches for phone as the radio announces that we are closed." Have a wonderful night Ma'am "
She leaves and i phone boss. Boss agrees i did the right thing and warns cashier not to let lady use her card. she procedes to dump on boss what a horrible worthless cretin i am and how i should die in a firey inferno of doom. Boss smiles and nods while copying down as much info for the LP about her he can. She left me a present as well. I noticed after she left, she had written on my email pad. (you put your e address on it, and we enter it so you get coupons.) it was a note that said "I LOVE OBIMA <3<3<3<3" boss and I are still puzzling over the whole thing.
For those of you who don't know, I work at "Anthracites" which has a completely open return policy. I've seen things NOBODY should ever see. *shudder*
anyway, here are a few doozy's from this week.
1. the prank caller.
well, we think she was a prank caller. A lady called to ask if we sold Memory foam pillows. Yes, we do. She is pleased. then wants to know if she can put it on her face and if it will cause a bad reaction ...with her Butt cream. that she puts on her face. Butt. Cream. as in, cream that goes on your butt. I told the lady the pillows were hypoallergenic, and that if she was getting reactions...it might be because she was putting something on her face, that was not meant to go on her face....
2. Officer Grant is awesome.
Our LP has a friend who is a cop. He visits us every now and then to make sure everything's going smoothly in the Loss prevention area. He's a neat guy. Ex military, BIG. we're talking muscles like Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson and a voice like James Earl Jones. The Electronics area is right by my desk, and some teenage boys happened to be loitering there on a tuesday afternoon. they had a LARGE backpack,and were in general acting suspicious. Officer Grant was talking to me, and i pointed the boys out. We've been having issues with kids that have been shoplifting lately, gathering in groups throughout the store, So he strolled over there to see what was what.
OG(Officer Grant(
B1(Boy 1 (with backpack)
B2/B3
OG"HOW ARE YOU FINE YOUNG GENTLEMAN THIS LOVELY AFTERNOON?" (Officer G has two volume levels. loud, and F&*$(%& LOUD)
B1(mumbles)" Uh...fine."
OG "NOW , YOU BOYS KNOW ITS NOT A GOOD IDEA TO BRING A BACKPACK IN A STORE LIKE THIS, YOU MIGHT GIVE PEOPLE THE WRONG IMPRESSION! YOU DON"T WANT ME TO GET THE WRONG IMPRESSION DO YOU? (Insert Giant scary smile, puts hands on his hips.* Our cops wear short sleeved uniforms. OG's biceps nearly rip out of his when he bends his arms.)
B2/B3 "No sir. Sorry Sir. We won't do it again sir!"
OG" EXCELLENT! NOW WHERE ARE YOU BOYS HEADED AFTER THIS?"
(All three chorus) TO CHURCH SIR! WE"RE GONNA GO STRAIGHT TO CHURCH AND GET SAVED SIR!"
OG."WONDERFUL!" (to me, slightly quieter) "I think i put the fear of God in em."
Manager and I could not stop laughing.
3: I'm pretty sure that's a fake ID...
5 minutes before closing two nights ago, a lady came up wanting to return shoes. no receipt but used her store card. No prob. i can look that up! oh..she doesn't have the card with her... again, I can look that up! She punches in her social, i take her id to match to the screen. the name matches, the addresses don't. here's where it gets weird. her license was state of Florida. the address printed on it, was State of Arizona. and the photo was at least 20 years old. Procedure in this situation is to complete the refund, since it will go back to the card, and will not be available to be spent for 24 hours. Then i can notify the manager. I scan the card, and i scan the box. purchased 8 months ago, $48.47 or something like that. hit ok. it comes back as cash. I did a double take. it CAN"T come back as cash. if you are scanning a store card to look up the receipt, it HAS to refund the store card. Even if you split the purchase between cash and card, it will still refund the maximum amount it can to the card first, before cash. Now, because of protocol i finished the transaction. then she wants to buy a BUNCH of stuff. with her printout card. I politely refer her to the registers, as i have been told not to do purchases at CS anyway. (Also i want to call the manager and tell them about this as soon as possible.) she flipped out.
Fake ID lady :FIL
moi: M
M: "Purchases can be made up front ma'am ." *big smile*
FIL: I"ve paid back here before.
M: " I understand, but at this time, the manager has not authorized me to do purchases back here since it's so close to closing. "
FIL: "WHy don't you just say that you want me to get the fuck out of here so you can close you little bitch?"
M: "Because that is not what i said. I told you. Management does not want purchases made back here. You may not check out here. You may check out up front, at the Cash registers that are provided for you. Have a good evening."
FIL: You could be nicer bitch. I'm gonna screw you over so bad...you'll never get a job again."
M"*reaches for phone as the radio announces that we are closed." Have a wonderful night Ma'am "
She leaves and i phone boss. Boss agrees i did the right thing and warns cashier not to let lady use her card. she procedes to dump on boss what a horrible worthless cretin i am and how i should die in a firey inferno of doom. Boss smiles and nods while copying down as much info for the LP about her he can. She left me a present as well. I noticed after she left, she had written on my email pad. (you put your e address on it, and we enter it so you get coupons.) it was a note that said "I LOVE OBIMA <3<3<3<3" boss and I are still puzzling over the whole thing.
Still not sure what would make her think it would react with a pillow, though.
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