My mom is out of town for a couple of weeks, so I've had the chance, oops I mean curse of carting my grandmother's butt around town for errands and to all the people we've encountered, I want to issue a very deep heartfelt apology. If we could find a way to "fix" her or make her shut up, believe me, we would have years ago.
Cute blond waitress at the restaurant- I am SO SORRY she said that to you. I made sure to put down an extra tip just for dealing with our table. I have no idea what "child bearing hips" means, and whatever you do, don't take a word she says seriously. Get married whenever YOU are ready, and please feel free to boil your whole body- I know I've wanted to when she hugs me like that, and I'm related to her.
Cashier at the pharmacy- I was SO SO SO EMBARRASSED that she did that. I'm stunned that you didn't smack her hand, as I would have if she did that to me (sorry but I was a bit busy holding my child). No one has the right to feel up a pregnant woman, even my busybody nosy PITA grandmother. And there isn't a single thing wrong with your nose.
And to the security guard- I'm sorry, she's not as smart as she thinks she is therefore she really does think you have some power regarding speed limits and parking limits. She didn't pay any attention- she just saw you standing there with that uniform on and assumed you were a freakin lieutenant on the police force with "special ties" to the law makers. She doesn't have a clue there is a difference between security guard and cop. And I'm really sorry that she clung on to your arm like that, but you did a good job of shaking her off when you were needed elsewhere. That cracked me up. As I'm sure you know, she whined about it all the way home.
And to anyone else the old bat offended/insulted/got too touchy with, etc.
I'm really really sorry. If I could give her a personality pill, I totally would.
Cute blond waitress at the restaurant- I am SO SORRY she said that to you. I made sure to put down an extra tip just for dealing with our table. I have no idea what "child bearing hips" means, and whatever you do, don't take a word she says seriously. Get married whenever YOU are ready, and please feel free to boil your whole body- I know I've wanted to when she hugs me like that, and I'm related to her.
Cashier at the pharmacy- I was SO SO SO EMBARRASSED that she did that. I'm stunned that you didn't smack her hand, as I would have if she did that to me (sorry but I was a bit busy holding my child). No one has the right to feel up a pregnant woman, even my busybody nosy PITA grandmother. And there isn't a single thing wrong with your nose.
And to the security guard- I'm sorry, she's not as smart as she thinks she is therefore she really does think you have some power regarding speed limits and parking limits. She didn't pay any attention- she just saw you standing there with that uniform on and assumed you were a freakin lieutenant on the police force with "special ties" to the law makers. She doesn't have a clue there is a difference between security guard and cop. And I'm really sorry that she clung on to your arm like that, but you did a good job of shaking her off when you were needed elsewhere. That cracked me up. As I'm sure you know, she whined about it all the way home.
And to anyone else the old bat offended/insulted/got too touchy with, etc.
I'm really really sorry. If I could give her a personality pill, I totally would.
Comment