Tweet
I know the bush you're beating around. I know the park you're living in, and I am avoiding it.
I'm sorry that you managed to use more gas than we predicted. When asked to predict, we'll tell you we don't expect you to go over your deposit, or even use all of it. By the way, stop repeating "10 gallons" of gas. Because if that is actually what my boss told you, then you have no right to complain. Because, from the price of your gas bill, I estimate you used about 11 gallons of gas. And that's estimating high.
I'm sorry that the boat was too expensive for you. When you walked in and asked for our nicest boat, I walked you to our most expensive boat. Because it was the nicest.
I'm sorry you didn't get that tube you didn't pay for. I know it was on the boat when you got there. I know I was going to leave it. I know my boss took it off. But if you didn't pay for it, you didn't have a right to keep it.
I'm shocked.
Oh, and I wouldn't have minded any of that. That was all vaguely reasonable. But lying to me? That was not. The radio worked for the people before you. The radio worked for the people after you. So I have trouble believing the radio only worked at the dock.
So when you called back from the land of "I AM NOT HAPPY" in the park of "MAKE ME HAPPY" and running around the bush "DISCOUNTS" like a half-blind horse, don't be surprised that I was aware what you were after. No need to go right out and state it. My hamster is fitter than I am. I tagged you with a GPS. My CSR device can see where you're at. The alarm was raised. The gate has fallen.
And you're on the wrong side.
I was saving this for a day where I wanted a good cathartic rant. I just decided to take a break from going all paint-crazy on my new apartment. (That's a whole new rant altogether.)
I'm sorry that you managed to use more gas than we predicted. When asked to predict, we'll tell you we don't expect you to go over your deposit, or even use all of it. By the way, stop repeating "10 gallons" of gas. Because if that is actually what my boss told you, then you have no right to complain. Because, from the price of your gas bill, I estimate you used about 11 gallons of gas. And that's estimating high.
I'm sorry that the boat was too expensive for you. When you walked in and asked for our nicest boat, I walked you to our most expensive boat. Because it was the nicest.
I'm sorry you didn't get that tube you didn't pay for. I know it was on the boat when you got there. I know I was going to leave it. I know my boss took it off. But if you didn't pay for it, you didn't have a right to keep it.
I'm shocked.
Oh, and I wouldn't have minded any of that. That was all vaguely reasonable. But lying to me? That was not. The radio worked for the people before you. The radio worked for the people after you. So I have trouble believing the radio only worked at the dock.
So when you called back from the land of "I AM NOT HAPPY" in the park of "MAKE ME HAPPY" and running around the bush "DISCOUNTS" like a half-blind horse, don't be surprised that I was aware what you were after. No need to go right out and state it. My hamster is fitter than I am. I tagged you with a GPS. My CSR device can see where you're at. The alarm was raised. The gate has fallen.
And you're on the wrong side.
I was saving this for a day where I wanted a good cathartic rant. I just decided to take a break from going all paint-crazy on my new apartment. (That's a whole new rant altogether.)
Comment