CS spin <longish>

[Bonnie Bitch]

Ok, so I was reading in another thread about how CS's like to spin things to make it the SR's fault. I'd just like to share one of my own experiences with that:

DISCLAIMER: do not try this at home. Or anywhere else for that matter.

So while I was still taking calls for XYZTV (I have since changed departments), I had this beaut:

ME = the fabulous and gregarious Miss Bonnie Bitch
SC = a jolly and charming male-type fellow whom we shall call Bubba
PPV = pay-per-view movie

ME: Thank you for calling XYZTV. My name is Bonnie. How may I assist you today?
SC: Yeah, on my bill, I got charged for pay-per-view movies. You **will** reverse those charges. Now.
ME: One moment, please. <I look through the bill and notice that there's a totoal of approx. $300 US on his bill for PPV"s -- all porn, what a shock>
ME: Thank you being patient. After reviewing your bill, I see that the PPV's were all ordered with your remote control through your receiver. Unfortunately, there is nothing we can do to rev.....
SC: Kiss my *ss! You will reverse those movies. Today.
ME: Sir, the charges are valid and non-reversible.
SC: *I* did not order those movies. <followed by more filth and foul directed at me personally>
ME <wanting desperately to end this call>: Sir, I have not stated that *you* personally ordered those movies. I have said that the movies were ordered through your remote control over your receiver. Does anyone else in the home have access to your remote and receiver?
SC: Oh, I know who ordered 'em. It was my 13 year-old son. But you're going to reverse the charges because it's all your fault.
ME: Huh??
SC: It's the responsibility of XYZTV to block the adult movies.....
ME: No, sir, that is incorrect. We are unable to control what happens in your home. If you want the adult channels blocked, then it is your responsibility to block them, using your remote and receiver. Another thing we are able to do is put a password on your account so that no one can call in except you and make changes to or order movies on your account.
SC: Bullsh*t! It is **your** responsibility to do all that. <delete filth and foul>
ME: All righty, then. Is there anything else I can help you with today?
SC: F*ck you! <click>

Now, I was fine with the verbal abuse, because 8 out of 10 XYXTV customers are verbally abusive, and I'm numb to it.
But for some reason, this jack*ss got to me. So, I thought to myself.... "Hey, self .... he did say that it was your responsibility to secure the account....."
So, after notating the account that the cust sucked and was "belligerent and verbally abusive," I did exactly what the customer requested -- I put a password on the account.
The password is "EVITA PERON", which Bubba (the customer) will never guess!
And wouldn't ya know -- the customer hung up on me, before I got a chance to tell him. Darn. Rats. Phooey.
But hey -- I did have time to notate the account, "Per customer request, password required."
So, at my next break, I see one of the help desk agents, and she asks how my day is going. I tell her about Bubba. I end with, "And his new password is Evita Peron."
She stared and then nearly wet her pants laughing.
And after that, everyone on help desk called me "Evita."
And before anyone gripes about my doing that -- I did tell my supervisor at my following review. After he was done laughing, he told me -- in a moment of cosmic irony -- that that was one of my calls which he reviewed. He complimented me on a "job well done," during the call.

[Amethyst Hunter]

Awesome. XD

[Imogene]

Damn you, Madonna, constantly screwing up people's porn!

[BookstoreEscapee]

Huh, you'd think a good parent such as himself would have a little chat with his kid, and make the kid pay for the movies out of his allowance, or the lunch money he steals from kids on the school bus, or whatever (after calmly learning how to set the parental controls, of course).

[blas]

Well someone HAS to pay it......let this be an (expensive) lesson to the parent that his kid is exploring and getting curious, but ordering expensive movies isn't the way to go.

Sometimes in life we have to have expensive learning experiences. This will teach him the power of the parental block.

[BusBus]

Where was this parent while the kid was watching $300 worth of PPV porn?

[TNT]

One of my favorite porn calls of all time was the parent who kept denying that he and his wife would ever order such things. I kept asking him if there was anybody else in the house who could have done it.

Finally, after a lot of badgering, he said, "Well there's my 15 year old son, but that at age, he doesn't even think about that kind of stuff."

Sir, the clue phone's ringing... better pick it up.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

"You **will** reverse those charges. Now. "

You know, I never really outgrew that whole "give you a hard time if you try and give me an unreasonable direct order" thing.

And frankly, if you want to make absolutely certain that you hit a brick wall with me, bark "Now" after saying something to me. That will pretty much negate any and all chances that you will get your way. At least from me.

I really hate that.

[Mongo Skruddgemire]

OWWWWWWW!

Dangit! Coke through the nose FREAKING HURTS!

That was totally awesome however. My sinuses and my keyboard will hate you with a passion throughout eternity, however my brain is saying "Freaking Sweet!"

M

[Hobgoblin]

"You **will** reverse those charges. Now. "

You know, I never really outgrew that whole "give you a hard time if you try and give me an unreasonable direct order" thing.

I hear that. I've not had anyone say that to me in a long while, but now that I'm a, you know, adult, I'd have to do one of two things. If it were a customer in my store, I'd simply stare at them, then politely ask them to leave. If it were on the phone, I'd just ignore it. Then politely ask if there's anything else I can do, because I won't do what they asked me to do.

But yeah, it sure as hell wouldn't get done, even if I knew that I could do it. Not for someone who bosses me around.

[Becks]

I'm LOVING the password.

[Format C]

Where was this parent while the kid was watching $300 worth of PPV porn?

I am wondering if the parent was the one who ordered the porn and didn't want the wife to find out about it.

[Jester]

But yeah, it sure as hell wouldn't get done, even if I knew that I could do it. Not for someone who bosses me around.

There are exactly three people (well, four, cause I have two jobs) who can give me a direct command and expect results:

1. My boss(es). Hell, they are paying me, so yes, they are entitled to give me commands.
2. My mother. She's Mom. She can give me commands. 'Nuff said.
3. My girlfriend. Shhh...don't tell her.

People who cannot give me commands but think they can:

--My sisters.
--Friends of friends who think they are all that.
--Customers.
--People who are in my business establishment(s) but aren't buying anything, so technically aren't customers....these people DEFINITELY can't give me commands.
--Anyone else that thinks I am beneath them.

And the people who not only can't give me commands but will regret it quite a bit if they do:

--People who I am doing magic for, as they will learn how much of a smartass I can be. (HINT: Better than them.)
--Any boy dating any of my nieces, as they will learn that there are, in fact, worse fates than death.

[OfficeSlug]

Oh, this struck a chord in me from the other end....

I had a shit-tastic roommate back in 2000. Even though he had only just gotten a job, I gave in and got the high-end cable complete with PPV for our use on our days off....

A month later, I'd get the bill, though, and he'd have 5-6 PPV movies per WEEK on it (hello, aren't we paying for HBO and SHO?!)... then he'd give me guff about paying for the movies he "accidentally" watched (the button on the remote tripped him up something awful, according to him). So I hid the remote. He found it. And kept ordering.

Third month, I called the cable co and told them my sitch. They agreed that if *I* wanted to watch a PPV, I ( a girl ) could call them and give a VERBAL password and then they'd turn on the movie!! Problem solved! He never said anything about it either. And neither did I.

But never once would I have thought to call the cable co. to complain and have them take off the charges!!! WHO THINKS THAT WAY?!!?!?

[tollbaby]

Where was this parent while the kid was watching $300 worth of PPV porn?

I dunno about you, but my parents had no qualms about leaving me alone in the house when I was 13... (the age the "customer" stated his son was).