Retail Milestones

[Cooper]

So yesterday sucked. I thought I was going to leave early due to a doctor's appointment. The doctor cancelled, so I didn't, and most of the customers were grumpy.

On the upside, I think I've hit every SC milestone except ruining someone's Christmas.

The Smiles

I just started working the register, so sometimes it takes me a moment to find stuff (as it isn't the type I'm used to, scan and it'll tell you. You have to tell it what it is.)

Most everyone has been pretty decent about it.

Guy 1: Don't worry, take your time. I don't have anywhere to be.
Me: It's so late you probably just have to go home from here, right?
Guy 1: Right!

Me: Alright, give me a sec, you're the first salad I've rung up.
Woman: Yeah, I don't imagine people get salads all that often here.

And our credit card machine is fussy, so sometimes it just throws a fit and refuses to have anything to do with working.

I'm sliding the card, and it won't go. I've swiped it maybe five times before I called for help.

Guy: I hope you didn't charge me each time.
Me: No. It didn't go through.

He comes back five minutes later.

Guy: Would you like to swipe my card a few more times? I'd like to get a drink.

The WTFs

Unnecessary Proselytizing

I got handed a pamphlet as a tip from a lady. I kinda want to make these up for lesser-known religions, like Buddhism, Zoroastrianism (though there'd not be much point in this one, seeing as you cannot convert to it.) Because at least then there'd be something of a point of handing out pamphlets talking about the basic tenants of those religions.

Trust me, I know the basic tenants of Christianity. I've been to church before. I've studied religions. I've read the first few books of the bible (still working on that one XP) Even if I didn't, there are more churches than schools around here. I pass three on my way to work, and I think I pass seven if I go to the closest major town.

She was a nice enough lady, and it's not like I was in a job that required tips. I just think she's wasting trees and time.

Traditional SCs

Give me a freaking second!

We're having a sale where most of our sandwiches are 5 dollars in the large size. People can see the prices as I'm making it. I want to strangle the next person that, while I'm still putting in what it is, and I have not applied the discount, asks: "Isn't it supposed to be five dollars?"

Your Sandwich Doesn't Exist

Me: What was your sandwich?
Guy: Pulled pork.
Me: Alright, hang on.
*looks over it once. Twice. There is no pulled pork sandwich. TOG comes over.*
Guy: It's a pulled pork sandwich!
TOG: Try barbecue chicken.
Guy:But it's pulled pork!
TOG: We don't have that. The closest we have is the chicken.
Guy: That doesn't make any sense.

I put the chicken in. This sandwich is not one of the five dollar ones. It is six dollars.

Guy: Isn't it five dollars?
Me: No, it isn't.
TOG: This sandwich is local. We're the only one that has it, so it isn't covered under the deal.
Guy: It should be five dollars.

We look at him for a moment.

Guy: Fine!

He pays and leaves.

Angry Face

I had trouble differentiating the different kinds of chicken. To make sure I didn't screw it up in the meantime while I learned them, I would show the person the chicken before I put it on the sandwich.

One guy was not happy when I did this. I showed him the meat, and said: "Like this?"

His response? >

Impatience

Now, the first one I understand, because it turned out water cups were free. I didn't know though. >_<

Guy: Can I have a water cup?
Me: Sure. Can you hang on for a second? I need to ask someone how much they are.
Guy: Aren't they free?
Me: I don't know.
Guy:W ell can't you just give me one?
Me: that's the thing, I don't know. *calls for manager*
Guy: Fine, whatever.
*leaves*

Okay Then

Another guy came up, and saw three people making four sandwiches. Even though he only visibly had one person in front of him. Two minutes later, he stormed out of the store, shaking his head.

Retail Milestones

So in conclusion, I've had a customer demand a discount they didn't deserve, a customer demand a free meal, a customer storm off in a rage, and been proselytized to. I think I've hit most of the major common SCs on this site... except for of course, the ones who get their Christmas ruined every year.

[Zapper]

Have you had one demand delivery when that service is not offered? That would be a big one, too.

[Jester]

So in conclusion, I've had a customer demand a discount they didn't deserve, a customer demand a free meal, a customer storm off in a rage, and been proselytized to. I think I've hit most of the major common SCs on this site... except for of course, the ones who get their Christmas ruined every year.

Oh, my naive friend, there are so many SC milestones you've missed!

Has anyone issued a death threat against you? Threatened to beat you up? Said they were friends with the owner? GOOD friends, you know. Has anyone accused you of trying to rip them off? Of trying to steal their identity information? Of discriminating against them because of race? Even if you're the same race? Of discriminating against them for some ridiculous reason? ("You don't like short people, do you?") Attempt to get into the store before you're open? After you're closed? Threaten you with a lawsuit? Claim to know the law? To be a lawyer? Has anyone actually asked you, "Do you know who I am?" Especially if they were really no one important or famous? Have you had a celebrity be a total douchebag to you? Tried to scam you? Throw something at you? Tell you exactly how to make something, then when you make it exactly like they said, tell you you were still doing it wrong? Have their children be horribly out of control and then yell at you when you try to get the kids to behave in the store? Have you had a mother yell at you for how you were treating their ADULT child? Have you had a customer ignore you because they were on their cell phone, but then get mad at you for helping the next person? Have you had to clean any bodily fluids from places there should not have been bodily fluids to clean? Dealt with body odor so bad you smelled it as soon as they walked in the door? Have you had anyone threaten to call the cops because you wouldn't serve them? And so many, many more....

Oh, there are so many SC milestones out there! My hope for you is that you don't even come close to hitting all of them, or even most of them.

[Teskeria]

For the preaching, look thoughtful and ask 'Does Jesus approve of you murdering all those trees?'

[Brojekk]

For the preaching, look thoughtful and ask 'Does Jesus approve of you murdering all those trees?'

Holy crap...here comes Jesus...and he doesn't look too happy. Cookies for the reference.

[Aethian]

We had the pulled pork here a couple months ago. I think it was 6.50 a foot.

[Mytical]

Have a few to add to Jesters list that I really hope you never encounter. Had a gun pulled on you? Had a knife pulled on you (really..after a gun..not such a big deal)? Had people threaten to run you over with a vehicle? (I really have to post these one day).

Of course now, the milestones you have encountered are important. Rites of passage for just about every retail person. Your Jacket is on the left, union dues are paid the second tuesday of the first week of the month, and if you are caught without your jacket you get 50 lashes with a wet noodle.

Seriously though, it may never get easier..but keeping your sense of humor is the only way to keep from hitting the SC's over the head with a blunt instrument staying sane.

[wagegoth]

I kinda want to make these up for lesser-known religions, like Buddhism, Zoroastrianism (though there'd not be much point in this one, seeing as you cannot convert to it.) Because at least then there'd be something of a point of handing out pamphlets talking about the basic tenants of those religions.

Here's a start:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/sburn/310139185/

[iradney]

Hey guys - if we could kindly veer away from the direction of religion bashing, I would appreciate it. No-one's gone over the line yet, but I would like to keep this thread open.

[Zoom]

Oh, my naive friend, there are so many SC milestones you've missed!

Post Of The Year.

[AmbrosiaWriter]

You know, one time I had someone try to hand me a free mini-version of a particular holy book, and when I politely declined, they instead threw it at my face.

I ducked. That made them even more angry.

Yes, you've got plenty of mile stones to go. But hey, the slower you pass those milestones they better your job is.

[EricKei]

For proselytizers of any religion, product, or service: "I'm sorry, but store policy dies not allow solicitation of any kind, so I am not allowed to accept [brochure/etc] for any reason without getting into trouble. I'm sure you understand. Have a nice day!"

[crazyclerk12]

Holy crap...here comes Jesus...and he doesn't look too happy.

Family Guy, right?

Cooper, let's hope you never hit any more SC milestones. Especially any that either Jester or Mytical listed.

[XCashier]

Have a few to add to Jesters list that I really hope you never encounter. Had a gun pulled on you? Had a knife pulled on you (really..after a gun..not such a big deal)? Had people threaten to run you over with a vehicle? (I really have to post these one day).

Yes. Yes, you do. That's what this site is about.

Let's see if there's a few I can add: creepy/sleazy/scary customers hitting on you, customers who start out sane then flip out for no apparent reason, customers who don't read or listen to directions then scream at you because they can't get what they want, being treated with utter contempt because you work in customer service...I'm sure others can add to the mile-long milestone list.

[ZedOmega]

Not to mention the milestone where you get the 'things were so much better at OldBusinessNameGoesHere' or 'I never had this problem with ISPIRanAwayScreamingFrom'.