Are We Unclear on the Concept or Something?

[Argabarga]

I'm sorry, I can't make this any simpler without having to draw you little pictures.

Background - this property is an apartment building, with retail/office space on the 1st floor, the other 9 floors are residences. Parking is a garage under the building, as you drive in, the first 6 spaces are marked as "commercial' so that the owners/employees of those businesses always have a place to park, the rest of the garage, and it goes down another 3 levels, is park anywhere you please as long as you have a resident pass.

Occasionally, someone without a commercial permit will take a commercial space, and get called in by the owner. This was one of those people...

DONK DONK

-Did you tow my car from Garage Underneath Apartments?
-Yellow Jeep? License XYZ-000? Yes, looks like we have it for being parked in a commercial space without a permit, if you pick it up before midnight tonight, it will be $115.
-But I have a permit to park there!
-Not in that space, those are commercial spaces, and only cars with commercial permits may use them
-Wait, huh? So, who called me in?!
-The person who rents that space called that car into us, you were parked in one of the commercial spaces.
-Commercial spaces? But I have a permit for that garage!
-Yes, a regular resident permit, but those cannot use marked commercial spaces, only cars with commercial permits may be in those spots.
-But it doesn't SAY that ANYWHERE! How was I supposed to know?
-Yes it does, there's a windshield-high sign on the wall you parked right in front of that says "PARKING BY COMMERCIAL PERMIT ONLY"
-AND WHAT DOES THAT MEAN!?


.....
.....
.....
We're sorry, this conversation has performed an illegal operation and must close, if problems persist, please contact the vendor.
....
..... *brain rebooting*

-Uh, it means you can only park there by commercial permit. There these little red and yellow things that hang from the rear view mirror and say "Commercial" on them?
-And you can't cut me a break? Because I live there!
-No, you didn't have a permit
-YES I DID!
-A resident one, yes, but not a commercial permit.

Fortunately, we only had to circle the drain one more time before she at least realized that she'd have to pay to get the Jeep back, I still don't think it quite registered on her why she got towed, but it wasn't for lack of TRYING on my part!

[malmalthekiller]

Yes, sometimes I send the majority of my day on the phone just repeating the same facts and information to a person until a light bulb clicks in their brain.

Sometimes you can hear co workers in the same predicament. I can hear them speaking in their cubicles to some moron who does just NOT understand something.

No, sir, your company covers xyz, not abc.
Pause.
No, sir. Xyz. NOT abc.
Pause
No, just xyz. Because of reasons listed here. Just xyz. JUST XYZ.
Pause
Because that is the way your company designed it.
Pause.
Yes. Xyz.
Pause
Yes! Exactly. Just do this and we'll be fine. Have a great day.

It becomes a "how do I possibly rephrase the most simple of instructions in a way that I haven't already done"?

[Lace Neil Singer]

Reminds me of the idiot who I ended up having a brain numbingly repetitive conversation with, at a time when the refinery which supplied every petrol station in town was closed and we'd run out of diesel.

SC: Do you have any diesel?

(note, there were no less than THREE SIGNS out front proclaiming the fact that, no, we don't have any.)

Me: No, I'm afraid we haven't. The refinery...

SC: *talking over me* Do you have any diesel round the back?

Me: No, we don't. We won't get any more til tomorrow evening due to the refinery being shut down.

SC: So... you don't have any diesel?

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

.....
.....
.....
We're sorry, this conversation has performed an illegal operation and must close, if problems persist, please contact the vendor.
....
..... *brain rebooting*

Hahahahaha, that gave me a lot of call center flashbacks!

Your discussion reminded me of several incidents at the games store back in the early days of the Xbox 360, when the original Xbox was still around to a degree. People would ask me do you have xyz game/accessory for Xbox to which I'd respond: "regular or 360?"

The usual customer respond to that inquiry? "Xbox! I just told you!"

*sigh*

[Jester]

Why yes, I would love to tell you about our happy hour. It's Monday through Friday, 4 till 7, at the bar only.
No, no happy hour on the weekends.
Just Monday through Friday.
Yes, 4 till 7.
Yes, PM.
No, not in the dining room. Just at the bar.
No, there are no happy hour specials at all in the dining room.
Yes, on the weekdays.
Yes, 4 till 7.

THEM: "I'd like a rum and coke."
ME: "Sir, we have over 175 rums. Do you have any preference?"
THEM: "Something good."
ME: "As I said, sir, we have over 175 rums. "Good" doesn't really narrow it down that much."
THEM: "Well, what do you like?"
ME: "How much time do you have?"
THEM:

One of these days, when I am not overly busy, one of these yahoos is going to call me on my bluff, and insist I tell them what I like. And if it is, as I said, not busy, I will take a deep breath and say:

"Atlantico, El Dorado 12, 15, or 21, Zaya, Zacapa 23, Zacapa XO, Mount Gay Extra Old, Mount Gay 1703, Dos Maderas 5+5 P.X., Dos Maderas 5+3, Appleton Estates Reserve, Appleton Estates Extra, Appleton Estates VX, Appleton Estates 21, Pampero Anniversario, Santa Teresa 1796, Diplomatico Exclusiva Reserva, Plantation 20th Anniversary, Pyrat XO Reserve, Pyrat Cask 1623, Kilo Kai, Brinley Gold Vanilla, Mango, and Coconut, Matusalem Gran Reserva 15 or 18 year, Zafra, Vizcaya 21, Pusser's 15, Cruzan Single Barrel, Captain Morgan's Private Stock, Barcelo Reserva, Bacardi Reserva Limitada, Don Q Gran Anejo, Medellin, Flor de Cana 12 or 18 year, Cockspur 12, Montecristo 12, and Barboncourt 15...thought I wouldn't necessarily drink all of them with coke. But of course, those are just the ones off the top of my head....."

[mhkohne]

One of these days, when I am not overly busy, one of these yahoos is going to call me on my bluff, and insist I tell them what I like. And if it is, as I said, not busy, I will take a deep breath and say:

"Atlantico, El Dorado 12, 15, or 21, Zaya, Zacapa 23, Zacapa XO, Mount Gay Extra Old, Mount Gay 1703, Dos Maderas 5+5 P.X., Dos Maderas 5+3, Appleton Estates Reserve, Appleton Estates Extra, Appleton Estates VX, Appleton Estates 21, Pampero Anniversario, Santa Teresa 1796, Diplomatico Exclusiva Reserva, Plantation 20th Anniversary, Pyrat XO Reserve, Pyrat Cask 1623, Kilo Kai, Brinley Gold Vanilla, Mango, and Coconut, Matusalem Gran Reserva 15 or 18 year, Zafra, Vizcaya 21, Pusser's 15, Cruzan Single Barrel, Captain Morgan's Private Stock, Barcelo Reserva, Bacardi Reserva Limitada, Don Q Gran Anejo, Medellin, Flor de Cana 12 or 18 year, Cockspur 12, Montecristo 12, and Barboncourt 15...thought I wouldn't necessarily drink all of them with coke. But of course, those are just the ones off the top of my head....."

Explain for each one why it's good, and DON'T let him get a word in edgewise. Perhaps some learning will take place.

[Syriilord]

This thread reminds me of something amusing/disturbing that happened during my regular D&D game last week.

Quick Background: We play in my DM's place, which is a ground floor apartment facing a busy street. We often have a window or two open for air of the fresh variety. End Background.

Anyway, during our session last week an apparently inebriated guy approached the open window and called in. Turns out he was looking for his uncle who, it was claimed, lived in the complex. No matter how many times my DM explained that no, he wasn't in this apartment; no, he didn't live in the other two apartments on the ground floor; and no, nobody here knows if he lives in any of the other apartments, you'll have to get in touch with him yourself; he just didn't seem to get it. He'd keep wandering away and coming back.
Eventually during one of his wanderings, we simply closed the windows and ignored his attempts to get our attention.

The kicker, he had apparently been trying this the night before too. Drunk then too. Some people.

[EricKei]

And if it is, as I said, not busy, I will take a deep breath and say...

SC:" I can't be bothered with all of that, I just need to know which one is good ..."

[draco664]

It becomes a "how do I possibly rephrase the most simple of instructions in a way that I haven't already done"?

You may think that, but it has nothing to do with you or your ability to dumb things down. It's all about how long the idiot on the other side of the conversation will take to accept that reality is not the way they envisioned it. They want X, therefore X must be available, and it only takes finding the precise request format.

So when you tell them X isn't available, they can't/won't accept that, because they're a speshul snowflake. So they try and find the secret handshake/special reason/correct passphrase that will cause you to say, "Oh, that changes everything! Of course we have X. Here you go."

There's a partial extract of the checklist of secret passphrases used, you know. They include...

Can you check?
Is it out the back?
Any in storage?
Any being held for someone else?
Maybe the delivery has been made and it hasn't been put out yet?
Are you sure?

Of course, just like the old Zork games, individual commands are not always the way to go. Sometimes repeating lines is the trick. Which is why they keep trying the same lines over and over again.

So, it's not you, or your ability to explain things. It's them. It's all them. The fail is 100% with them.

[MoonCat]

"When can I get my ad in?"
"Monday."
"Not Saturday?"
"No, Monday is the soonest."
"What about Sunday?"
"Monday is the soonest."
"So I can't get it in tomorrow?"
"NO. MON-DAY!"
"Oh, okay. So, for Sunday, then?"

[AccountingDrone]

THEM: "I'd like a rum and coke."
ME: "Sir, we have over 175 rums. Do you have any preference?"
THEM: "Something good."

If I knew you wouldn't kick my ass, I would *so* walk in some day and do just this

[Sapphire Silk]

One of these days, when I am not overly busy, one of these yahoos is going to call me on my bluff, and insist I tell them what I like. And if it is, as I said, not busy, I will take a deep breath and say:

Would it be SC of me to ask what rum is good for a rum virgin?

[Pagan]

SC: *talking over me* Do you have any diesel round the back?

Around back? Ok, that's just a stupid.

Turns out he was looking for his uncle who, it was claimed, lived in the complex. No matter how many times my DM explained that no, he wasn't in this apartment; no, he didn't live in the other two apartments on the ground floor; and no, nobody here knows if he lives in any of the other apartments, you'll have to get in touch with him yourself; he just didn't seem to get it.

Had some woman at my door insisting that this was her daughter's apartment. Couldn't get her to realize that, no, while this is indeed apt #****, this street number is 3405, you're looking for 3505, which is the next complex down.

Went round about three times. I finally looked at her and said, "Ma'am, this apartment isn't that big. I would have noticed if there was someone else living here with me!"

Would it be SC of me to ask what rum is good for a rum virgin?

I was wondering that, too. While I know a lot about wine, Scotch, and tequila and fair amount about beer, I know next to nothing about rum.

[dalesys]

I'm sorry, I can't make this any simpler without having to draw you little pictures.

Or explain in words of one letter or less:
U R N A O

[Jester]

If I knew you wouldn't kick my ass, I would *so* walk in some day and do just this

Go for it. Make my day.

Would it be SC of me to ask what rum is good for a rum virgin?

No. That would be a far more intelligent question. To which I would ask YOU some questions, so I could figure out what kind of rum you would like.

For example, are you normally a whiskey drinker? Vodka? Gin? Wine? Beer?

What do you normally drink? Are you looking to try rum cocktails, or does fine sipping rum appeal to you? Do you like sweet drinks, or something drier?

There is no single rum that is good for a rum virgin, just as there is no single rum that is, as they often ask, "good."

But if you need guidance in rum, just ask. I'll do what I can. I have guided friends, customers, and CSers in rum over the years, and enjoy doing it. So, just let me know.