A simple rule for shoplifters on the go: When you have been caught and I'm on the phone with the cops. Don't stand in the parking lot bragging to your friends that you're going to get away with it because you'd be long gone by the time they show up. Why? Because, it gives the cops time to, oh I don't know, show up. Plus, complaining about how unfair everyone is being is just a little much. I mean come on, the cops and I gave you enough time to at least make it down Monroe. Let's face it, you were a little wasted and could hardly stand up straight, you weren't going to get far anyways.

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