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The Penguin Told Me to Kill Myself
No really, he did. And I assure you it's not because I'm skipping my therapy appointments this week, simply because I don't have any. (I'll probably have to talk to a professional about that in the near future, I can only ignore that court order for so long)
No, it's because I was checking a Jeep I didn't recognize for a permit in one of our private lots when a guy in a penguin costume walks up. Fortunately, I realized it WAS Halloween week, so I'm going to be see a lot of stuff that's going to peg my finely-calibrated internal WTF-meter (tm) for the next few days. (For example, last year this week, I towed an illegal car out of Big Bird's space for him, and later that night I took Spiderman's Spider-Cavalier. Who out there right now can say they've done that?! Huh?! That's what I thought!) So after the initial shock wore off, I paid penguin man no mind.
Well, penguin-man noticed what I was up to and the following ensued
Penguin Guy - You the tow guy?
Me - Yep (I came *this* close to telling him it was just a costume, but that idea got an internal veto)
Penguin Guy - You're going to tow that car?
Me- Yep, he doesn't have a permit, so he didn't pay for that space he's parked in
Penguin Guy - Way to ruin someone else's life!
Me- Actually, they ruined it themselves by not listening to the signs and illegally parking, they didn't need my help for that at all.
Penguin Guy - And... that's how you justify your job?
Me - Yep
Penguin Guy - You don't feel bad about that?
Me - Nope (Now I'm starting to channel Big MacIntosh, it appears, hey, that gives me a great idea for next Halloween!)
Penguin Guy - Man, you need to just fuckin' kill yourself
And at that point the conversation was over, not because I found it uninteresting, because I did, rare glimpse into the mind of a penguin, but, I had to leave with the Jeep and go find other stuff to tow. So, sadly, our mutual diatribe was over at that point. Had I had more time, I would've told him that I'd found his suggestion that I commit suicide for my part in enforcing local parking regulations on people who break them to be fairly extreme, but, considering the extreme conditions penguins live in, it was to be expected I suppose....... can't fault him for going with instinct...... and.......
Wait a second.....
We're in the Northern Hemisphere.........
Penguins are from Antarctica.......
That's the SOUTHERN Hemisphere!
And where were his three Stanley Cups?!
I don't think that guy was a REAL penguin after all!
And, on the way back to the garage, Superman stepped into the street right in front of me. Funny, when you can leap buildings in a single bound, why use the crosswalk? I wouldn't! Had to REALLY resist the urge to just nail the gas and see if he was the genuine article, or another phony, like penguin man was.
Bad Truck! No Biscuit!
So, another driver on shift tonight was called out for a Ford Pickup parked in a marked fire lane. The 4 way flashers doing nothing to make his illegal parking legal, and everything to attract a tow truck. No sooner did he have it lifted than the owner came-a-calling
Our driver told the owner he owed $65 for the drop
Owner responds by punching the side of his truck, a couple times
Now now Son, a true craftsman never blames his tools. I doubt it was the TRUCK'S idea to park there.
Our driver tells owner that he can't wait here all night, either he pays for the drop now or it's a full tow back to the impound as we've got other calls holding.
Owner says he doesn't have any money
Driver tells him that it's going to be a full tow
Owner tells my driver he's going to kick his ass
Driver leaves with his truck, It'll be $115 now, assuming he makes it in in the next 24 hours. It was still there when I left early this morning, so that's lookin' like it might not happen either.
So, let me get this straight, you have a man here who not only will illegally park when he doesn't have the cash to pay for the consequences, but also lit up a beacon to get our attention and then THREATENED to assault our employee and then actually ASSAULTED his truck instead?
Remember this guy kids when you feel like questioning MY tenuous grip on sanity, I at least have learned to not try and beat up my own car.
How Dare You Make Me Look Foolish
Later in the evening the same driver who had to deal with Mr. Truck Assaulter had another car called into him, illegally parked in a marked PERMIT ONLY area. Well, he went over, lifted that one up, and THAT owner came running out as well. This guy had cash on him, but apparently couldn't stomach the fact that he got caught breaking the law, so he decided to elevate himself and denigrate our driver. Or try. (Maybe his girlfriend was around or something?)
"Did you even GO to college?" he condescendingly asked said driver as he forked over the cash for the drop.
"Nope" said our driver "But I don't need college to be able to read signs like that one right there" he added, pointing at the PERMIT PARKING ONLY sign.
The "customer" threatened to call the office Monday and get our driver in trouble for being "rude"
Methinks he should check a dictionary, there's a difference between "rude" and "snarky", and snark is not against company policy.
No really, he did. And I assure you it's not because I'm skipping my therapy appointments this week, simply because I don't have any. (I'll probably have to talk to a professional about that in the near future, I can only ignore that court order for so long)
No, it's because I was checking a Jeep I didn't recognize for a permit in one of our private lots when a guy in a penguin costume walks up. Fortunately, I realized it WAS Halloween week, so I'm going to be see a lot of stuff that's going to peg my finely-calibrated internal WTF-meter (tm) for the next few days. (For example, last year this week, I towed an illegal car out of Big Bird's space for him, and later that night I took Spiderman's Spider-Cavalier. Who out there right now can say they've done that?! Huh?! That's what I thought!) So after the initial shock wore off, I paid penguin man no mind.
Well, penguin-man noticed what I was up to and the following ensued
Penguin Guy - You the tow guy?
Me - Yep (I came *this* close to telling him it was just a costume, but that idea got an internal veto)
Penguin Guy - You're going to tow that car?
Me- Yep, he doesn't have a permit, so he didn't pay for that space he's parked in
Penguin Guy - Way to ruin someone else's life!
Me- Actually, they ruined it themselves by not listening to the signs and illegally parking, they didn't need my help for that at all.
Penguin Guy - And... that's how you justify your job?
Me - Yep
Penguin Guy - You don't feel bad about that?
Me - Nope (Now I'm starting to channel Big MacIntosh, it appears, hey, that gives me a great idea for next Halloween!)
Penguin Guy - Man, you need to just fuckin' kill yourself
And at that point the conversation was over, not because I found it uninteresting, because I did, rare glimpse into the mind of a penguin, but, I had to leave with the Jeep and go find other stuff to tow. So, sadly, our mutual diatribe was over at that point. Had I had more time, I would've told him that I'd found his suggestion that I commit suicide for my part in enforcing local parking regulations on people who break them to be fairly extreme, but, considering the extreme conditions penguins live in, it was to be expected I suppose....... can't fault him for going with instinct...... and.......
Wait a second.....
We're in the Northern Hemisphere.........
Penguins are from Antarctica.......
That's the SOUTHERN Hemisphere!
And where were his three Stanley Cups?!
I don't think that guy was a REAL penguin after all!
And, on the way back to the garage, Superman stepped into the street right in front of me. Funny, when you can leap buildings in a single bound, why use the crosswalk? I wouldn't! Had to REALLY resist the urge to just nail the gas and see if he was the genuine article, or another phony, like penguin man was.
Bad Truck! No Biscuit!
So, another driver on shift tonight was called out for a Ford Pickup parked in a marked fire lane. The 4 way flashers doing nothing to make his illegal parking legal, and everything to attract a tow truck. No sooner did he have it lifted than the owner came-a-calling
Our driver told the owner he owed $65 for the drop
Owner responds by punching the side of his truck, a couple times
Now now Son, a true craftsman never blames his tools. I doubt it was the TRUCK'S idea to park there.Our driver tells owner that he can't wait here all night, either he pays for the drop now or it's a full tow back to the impound as we've got other calls holding.
Owner says he doesn't have any money
Driver tells him that it's going to be a full tow
Owner tells my driver he's going to kick his ass
Driver leaves with his truck, It'll be $115 now, assuming he makes it in in the next 24 hours. It was still there when I left early this morning, so that's lookin' like it might not happen either.
So, let me get this straight, you have a man here who not only will illegally park when he doesn't have the cash to pay for the consequences, but also lit up a beacon to get our attention and then THREATENED to assault our employee and then actually ASSAULTED his truck instead?
Remember this guy kids when you feel like questioning MY tenuous grip on sanity, I at least have learned to not try and beat up my own car.
How Dare You Make Me Look Foolish
Later in the evening the same driver who had to deal with Mr. Truck Assaulter had another car called into him, illegally parked in a marked PERMIT ONLY area. Well, he went over, lifted that one up, and THAT owner came running out as well. This guy had cash on him, but apparently couldn't stomach the fact that he got caught breaking the law, so he decided to elevate himself and denigrate our driver. Or try. (Maybe his girlfriend was around or something?)
"Did you even GO to college?" he condescendingly asked said driver as he forked over the cash for the drop.
"Nope" said our driver "But I don't need college to be able to read signs like that one right there" he added, pointing at the PERMIT PARKING ONLY sign.
The "customer" threatened to call the office Monday and get our driver in trouble for being "rude"
Methinks he should check a dictionary, there's a difference between "rude" and "snarky", and snark is not against company policy.
He is my Black Dragon (and yes, a good one) strong, protective, the guardian. I am his Silver Dragon, always by his side, shining for him, cherishing him.
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