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This happened a couple years ago, but for some reason I remembered this guy. Now, we have a policy that if a customer threatens any kind of direct violence, we file a report and they get banned from ever calling again. If the call happens to get recorded, I think we can file charges. Threats of indirect violence we just warn the customer or disconnect the call, whichever we feel is appropriate. The difference between direct and indirect threats are set by how the customer phrases it.
Indirect threat: "If you were here, I'd kick your ass." or "I wish I knew where you are so I could kill you."
Direct threat: "I will kick your ass." or "I will find you and kill you."
I've only had 1 direct threat in 3 years, so I guess I'm too lovable to incite murderous thoughts in my customers (though I've been hit on more times than I care to remember). But this guy called in, understandably upset because he had his phone exchanged and the replacement we sent him didn't even power on. This isn't supposed to happen, supposedly they test the replacements before sending them out, but the technicians are human and get lazy or make mistakes.
I don't do much editing when relating calls, but this guy was a bit excessive, so I've removed some gratuitously offensive words.
SC: I can't believe this smurfing piece of smurf phone! I sent the old smurfy phone back and you smurfers sent me one that's worse than what I had. I won't stand for this smurfing smurf!
ME: I am truly sorry to hear the replacement you received isn't working. You shouldn't expect to have any problems with the replacement, so I am going to make sure we take care of this.
SC: You smurfing bet you will!
ME: As I said, I really want to help you, but I'm going to have to ask you to calm down and please stop the language so I can better assist you.
SC: Calm down? How the smurf can I calm down? The smurfhole I talked to before told me that he was going to fix it, and then I get this piece of smurf!
ME: Again, I'd like to take care of the problem but I really must ask you to-
SC: You know what the problem is? I'll tell you the smurfing problem! You use these smurfing Chinese or Japanese or whatever phones and they aren't worth smurf! I'm going to go to China and kill every one of them!
ME: Ok, now you're getting a little out of control...
SC: Then I'm going to find that smurfing kid who sent me this phone, and kill him. Then I'm going to kill you, too!
ME: Uh....hold on a second.
Policy dictates that we get a supervisor or manager in these situations and let them talk to the customer. Since we don't know if the call is being recorded, they are supposed to get as much information as possible from the customer and then let them know that they will now be placed on written correspondence, meaning they can't ever call in again and can only submit requests in writing. I got my sup, explained the situation, and by the time he got there the guy had hung up. But I got to fill out an incident report and he is forever banned
Sure, I knew he wasn't really going to annihilate the entire population of China nor was he he going to kill me or anyone else. He doesn't know my full name, doesn't know where I am, and wouldn't get past security if he did. But someone like that shouldn't have to be dealt with by anyone else.
Indirect threat: "If you were here, I'd kick your ass." or "I wish I knew where you are so I could kill you."
Direct threat: "I will kick your ass." or "I will find you and kill you."
I've only had 1 direct threat in 3 years, so I guess I'm too lovable to incite murderous thoughts in my customers (though I've been hit on more times than I care to remember). But this guy called in, understandably upset because he had his phone exchanged and the replacement we sent him didn't even power on. This isn't supposed to happen, supposedly they test the replacements before sending them out, but the technicians are human and get lazy or make mistakes.
I don't do much editing when relating calls, but this guy was a bit excessive, so I've removed some gratuitously offensive words.
SC: I can't believe this smurfing piece of smurf phone! I sent the old smurfy phone back and you smurfers sent me one that's worse than what I had. I won't stand for this smurfing smurf!
ME: I am truly sorry to hear the replacement you received isn't working. You shouldn't expect to have any problems with the replacement, so I am going to make sure we take care of this.
SC: You smurfing bet you will!
ME: As I said, I really want to help you, but I'm going to have to ask you to calm down and please stop the language so I can better assist you.
SC: Calm down? How the smurf can I calm down? The smurfhole I talked to before told me that he was going to fix it, and then I get this piece of smurf!
ME: Again, I'd like to take care of the problem but I really must ask you to-
SC: You know what the problem is? I'll tell you the smurfing problem! You use these smurfing Chinese or Japanese or whatever phones and they aren't worth smurf! I'm going to go to China and kill every one of them!
ME: Ok, now you're getting a little out of control...
SC: Then I'm going to find that smurfing kid who sent me this phone, and kill him. Then I'm going to kill you, too!
ME: Uh....hold on a second.
Policy dictates that we get a supervisor or manager in these situations and let them talk to the customer. Since we don't know if the call is being recorded, they are supposed to get as much information as possible from the customer and then let them know that they will now be placed on written correspondence, meaning they can't ever call in again and can only submit requests in writing. I got my sup, explained the situation, and by the time he got there the guy had hung up. But I got to fill out an incident report and he is forever banned
Sure, I knew he wasn't really going to annihilate the entire population of China nor was he he going to kill me or anyone else. He doesn't know my full name, doesn't know where I am, and wouldn't get past security if he did. But someone like that shouldn't have to be dealt with by anyone else.
Some of those old games were just so addictive, you couldn't put them down. I could play Demon Attack for hours, I forget what the highest level I reached was.
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